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7/6/2012 c8 5bookluver115
Hello. Spelling my friend is key to being professional. As well as punctuation.
7/5/2012 c8 2DarkRosePetals
nice like the story update!
6/18/2012 c8 ININININININININI
I can see you have a lot of natural talent to work with here, but Rome wasn't built in a day. First stories are always pretty terrible, no matter who writes them. I think yours was really good for a first story, but that's first story standards. You're only going to get better from here on out and it's very important to practice. Now I'm about to type out some guidelines, these don't necessarily apply to this story, but they help a lot down the road, in case you want to write more.

Titles: There are loads of stories on this site, but please try to come up with an original title. [I think you did a perfect job with the title. Frozen in Pairs. It's unique and memorable! But this is for your other stories if you choose to write more.] And check that when you search your title, there isn't already a story by that title in the same category as yours. Remember, the more interesting and original your title is, the more people want to read it.

Summaries: It's the first peek of your story that people get. It makes them decide whether or not to read it. Don't waste it. And please don't do any of the following:

- "I suck at summaries," or "Better summary inside." If you suck at summaries, people will automatically assume you suck at writing too, and you'll lose half of your perspective audience.

- "R&R!" Newsflash: you can't force them. More likely, it will work the other way around. It's okay at the end of a chapter to subtly ask people for reviews.

- "First story" or something like that. In fact, writing "first story" just makes them think it's bad before they've even started reading.

- "CHAPTER XX IS UP!11!" Yes, I can see that, too, since under every story you can see how many chapters the story has.

- Writing the name wrong/use a nickname; "Voldie" instead of Voldemort. It's annoying and it looks stupid. People will take you less serious too, because you don't take the effort to write a name right.

- "Don't like don't read!" Not only will people take the tip so nobody reads it, but it's rude in many ways too. Plus, in my eyes it just shows how less experience you have and that you can't take critics.

- write down questions on which you already know the answer. For example: "Sora and Kairi hate each other's guts, but they have to work together for a school project. Will their hatred turn into love for each other in the end?" Admittedly, this isn't that bad, but it can get annoying if you're doing it too much and too often.

- Talk to your audience. For example: "Hey, guys! This is yet another story, my second one. I came up with the plot when I was walking from home to school and I saw a bus riding, and then a dog barked. Please tell me what you think of it, but I think it's pretty cute, so squeee!" Please save that for the author notes, if you really have to tell your audience about it.

- And, maybe the most important of all: don't make any errors/typos in the summary, because grammar is important, too!

Chapter Length: As a multi chapter story, you can't write an amazing piece that's only 400 words long. If it's too short, you should either add more information, such as description or history, or if you have enough of those, combine it with another chapter. Short chapters finish before they can even get started. Your chapter should span more than one scene. But one scene shouldn't span more than one chapter, 'cause then you're adding too much description or history and you're going to bore your reader.

Before you post a story: If your story has correct spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization it's already 10 times better than most writing here. When you write here, hundreds of people are reading your work. They'll judge you on it. If you want their respect, you need to use correct spelling. And use spell check. It doesn't take long, and it will catch most errors. Then read what you wrote. Just once. Then you can post to your heart's content...or let it rest for a week and then look at it again, which is what I often do.

Betas: It's going to make your story so much better if you have someone else to check your conventions and tell you what needs more work. However, that doesn't mean you should let your beta do all the work and not proofread the chapter yourself.

Reviews and Flames: When someone reviews one of your stories, you should respect their opinion when they respect you, too. There is a clear difference between CC (constructive criticism) and a flame. CC is helpful. It gives ideas of how to improve (don't we all want that?), why they think you should change things, and mention what you're doing well. They're often left by some well-meaning writer who's then reported, yelled at and ganged up on for flaming. Please don't get mad at these people. Flaming, for those who don't know, is when people leave pessimistic reviews that are usually something like, "You suck! This is the worst writing EVER. I can't believe people actually read this! Learn to write, %& #!" Hopefully, you can see the difference between the flame and the CC.

And those are the ground rules. I hope you found them helpful! That was a bit broad, though.

But I'll give some narrow critique.

You can have the best story in the world, but if you misuse punctuation, no one's going to want to read it. And I can see by the lack of reviews that not a lot of people have. If you go back and correct the punctuation and capitalization, tons of people will read it, and you'll get a lot more feedback. And don't sweat your first story, it's more of an experimentation than anything else. Practice makes perfect. Just keep writing and writing, and you might even become better than me!
6/17/2012 c8 1t.tpie
hey guys I love you all so much for reviewing my book.

personaly I thing my book isn't very I'm sooooo happy you guys like!

And tell your friends about my book pleaze!

. .

3
6/16/2012 c8 Eka
I WILL KILL U. REMOVE MY NAAME THIS INSTANT OK NOW I AM GOING READ THE CHPTER
6/8/2012 c7 obscurename45628649
I find this very interesting

besides some spelling errors this is cool, update soon.
5/29/2012 c7 DawnTheStarPerson
My favorite chapther so far! But now, Q U E S T I O N T I M E ! How old is everyone? Btw DawnTheStarPerson is my OC ,but I don't have a fanfic account,yet XD
5/27/2012 c7 5bookluver115
wow. moving a little fast aren't we. Love? Gurl u be serious. i wouldn't give away ur secret tha fast though i would hint quite alot. My description is kind of out of place i would probably just say my name is Eka. and Zania is spelled w/ an X
5/27/2012 c7 cutecat
L.O.L I LOVED IT SOOOOO MUCH.
5/27/2012 c7 cutecat
L.O.L I LOVED IT SOOOOOO MUCH .
5/27/2012 c7 QOD13
Awwww! So cute!
5/12/2012 c6 love ya
nice story :o
5/12/2012 c6 bookluver115
oh thx u didn't kill the poor girl. i know it's pronounced eh-ka
5/8/2012 c5 bookluver115
sup girl i was to lazy to sign in it's ee anyway u lieed u wore black skinny jeans not dark blue sofie shorts MWAHAHAHHAA
5/8/2012 c5 Qo
COOL! I dont know exactly what else to say but its good and im still pretty much the same with the pairing
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