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for Butler & Jedi

2/28/2019 c3 James Birdsong
Thank you for writing your good fanfic
2/6/2017 c1 50Princess Mercy Goetia
I wish I'd thought of something like this sooner. You've taken my two greatest loves and combined them into something AWESOME! I now have more respect for you that Edgar Alan Poe!
4/29/2015 c3 8Darth Wraithius
Awesome story
12/4/2014 c1 12Esmereilda
lol that was rather intertaining though i'm not sure if any of the characters in your story are from the canon or not but then again i don't really care either
8/30/2014 c1 37Shadowclanwarrior
This is a very interesting crossover. I do have some fair criticisms for it, but I'll make most of it brief since it is an older fanfic of yours.

The thing that REALLY threw me off, and the biggest criticism I have, is the unusual setup you have for the story, meaning the random periods you have between some paragraphs. For the beginning where you were introducing Ciel and Sebastian's departure from their world, the dots you had put there kind of worked because it gave atmosphere to the unclear and vague beginning which I thought was a unique touch. However, where you had between dialogue it was VERY distracting and kind of confused me as to why it was there (especially when Ciel and Sebastian meet the Jedi). I took a look at one of your newer works and I saw that you still did this a little bit, but I think it would be best to get rid of it all completely in future works. True, it does make it more artsy, but it would be best just not to have them at all.

The story itself also seemed...uneventful. Ciel and Sebastian go to the Jedi universe, they show up and help some Jedi out, and then leave just as quickly. I think this idea would have been much better as a multi-chapter story, where you could really flesh things out and put Ciel and Sebastian in interesting Star Wars related situations. Was this fanfic a waste of time? No, I did enjoy it and it is very unique, but I do think it could have been expanded on.

Your characterization for Sebastian was excellent, however Ciel had some pretty bad OOC moments. I'm not going to dwell on that one because, one, I saw another reviewer made the same point in more detail, and second, judging from our past discussions, I don't believe you would get Ciel's character wrong now.

While there were good amount of grammar mistakes (ones I will not list, unless you want me to, since this is older and you most likely don't make the same grammar mistakes now), I did like your writing style and I think you did an excellent job with the opening scene. So even for a person who does not like to do the act of writing, you do have the potential to be a good one :).

Overall, this was an interesting read, being a Star Wars fan and a Black Butler fan. While flawed, it was certainly creative and original :).
4/6/2014 c1 2desotojune
AHAHAHAHAHAH! Corval wanted to spank Ciel. XD
This is such a cool idea! I see we share the same interests...
Where have I seen your name before? It looks really familiar.
...
OH, THAT'S RIGHT. You're currently reading Rainpath's Ouran-Kuro crossover, huh? Nice!
This is awesome!
5/3/2013 c1 1Lost Guy
I would like to see this continued, because this crossover interests me greatly. perhaps Grell could be out here, transferring from the London branch to the SW galaxy branch?

and maybe Ciel could start up the Phantomhive's company here.
11/9/2012 c1 157Smenzer
Great story! Your action scenes are very good, especially for someone who's never written action and not that versed with Star Wars. The lightsaber duel seemed like the scenes right from the movies. I've found you can get away with almost anything in the Star Wars universe, even demons.

If you would like a more details idea of what Palpatine would think of Ciel & Sebastian, I would say he would believe they are from the planet Dathomir, which is a planet of witches. He has it in quarantine because he sees the magic users as a serious threat to his power. Luke crash-landed there in a novel. Of course, demons are way above witches.

That bit of Sebastian thinking Corval looked like a kitten was funny! :) I think it was my favorite part even if it was just a small scene. And I'm curious as to who the Sith was that got ate by Ciel, maybe Asaji Ventress or Count Dooku? Both were in the Clone Wars.

I think Ciel and Sebastian would have fun exploring the far away galaxy. And IF they stay there long enough, they could save many countless lives when the Yuuzhan Vong invades. Even the Jedi had trouble with those guys.
8/4/2012 c2 just-a-blue-daisy
i add my name to this petition! nazebaka
8/4/2012 c1 just-a-blue-daisy
XD And so i read it! I will keep reading! Now it is your turn! *points at chapter 3* Arigatou! *Bows*
7/15/2012 c1 risi
After reading "Demons, Horcruxes and Harry" I looked down your list and noticed you had a Kuroshitsuji/Star Wars crossover. I love Star Wars! The only movie I actually paid to see several times over. Hmm, I'm probably dating myself there. And I love this story. I wish there were more to it, but I was glad to read what was there.
6/1/2012 c1 7TarnItUp
Ahaha, that's amazing! I love it! The way the action flows is so unique and amazing and fabulous that I don't even know how else to describe it, other than extremely well-written :D All of the characters struck me as very in-character, too. I think that a century or more of being an all-powerful demon would give Ciel a bit of an ego, especially when he thinks that he is plainly superior to the others but they insist on taking things at face value. Flawless :) And it made sense. Too many fics don't make a lick of sense -;
5/12/2012 c1 11Shiny Marble
Good concept (see, I told you I'd read and review) and an enjoyable read; but I think the flow and spelling could be improved with a Beta reader. (I'm trying to be helpful, hope it came out that way.)
4/21/2012 c1 7stellartaless
I'm going to be REAL honest with you. I'm your reader and I'm going to do what I should do as one. (well, a really honest one).

The language is good and you wrote this one-shot quite well.



BUT

I don't understand why do you crossover Kuroshitsuji with Star Wars out of all things you can crossover with. This crossover doesn't even make sense. There's nothing wrong but still...I seriously don't like this, I don't sit well with it.

Another thing, I don't like was how you portrayed Ciel, he's not quite like himself here. I think you're getting his character wrong, you're somehow there yet not there.

You portrayed him as some kind of arrogant stuck-up ass.

This part portrayed it :

"How DARE you! Do you have ANY idea who I am! I am the Earl, Ciel Phantomhive. That a weak bug like you would raise his hand against me proves that you don't deserve to live."

This is not Ciel. Ciel is not THAT arrogant. I suggest that you get to know more about him first before you write him.

One last thing...This is really up to you but I just to want to say... I realized for this story and your other, your summaries aren't really quite like summaries. It's like you're just throwing the things about your stories at readers' faces.

Write summaries that will make readers curious, let questions about the story form in their heads. Something that will pull them in, they want to know more.

Sorry for this harsh review. I do this cause I want you to improve and it's for your own good. I apologize for this, it was just quite disturbing. Don't be disheartened, just take it as a stepping stone to help you improve.

This is what critiques are for, take it and improve. :)

This fanfic wasn't so bad, it's pretty good actually. Maybe just the flaws here and there or else it's good. Well, though I don't really like this crossover pair of Kuroshitsuji and Star Wars(I don't even like reading crossovers or Star Wars at the first place.)

Yeah...so, improve!

-SavageTrickster

P.S. I like how you wrote your new chapter for 'Lelouch Awakens' by the way. :)
4/21/2012 c1 3MangoJelly22
All I can really say is well done.

The story was set at a perfect pace for a one-shot,the writing was well written, and the characters were spot on.

I even enjoyed the fight scene between Master Corval and the Sith, which is rare because most fight scenes bore me to tears with the lack of thought put in them.

Also, I was curious how you would pull off the interactions between the Black Butler characters and the Jedi, but I was given both interesting and hilarious situations; which still maintained the accurate personalities of each person.

Altogether, I loved it and wouldn't mind if you did continue this crossover.

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