for Obsta Principiis2/10/2013 c1 Dustubuni
... how exactly did the Horgwathians wind up losing the second part of the battle?
... how exactly did the Horgwathians wind up losing the second part of the battle?
6/8/2012 c2 Awsomeness7
I thought that it would be normal for voldemort and his death eaters to visit the malfoy mansion and there houldn't be anyone in the cellar. though i suppose that voldemort could detect harry. but still. also for going back to the past, i think it would be better if you went back a few years before graduation, just to give harry more time in that time period?
I thought that it would be normal for voldemort and his death eaters to visit the malfoy mansion and there houldn't be anyone in the cellar. though i suppose that voldemort could detect harry. but still. also for going back to the past, i think it would be better if you went back a few years before graduation, just to give harry more time in that time period?
6/7/2012 c1 Awsomeness7
oh wow, a story inspired by delanda est? well i kinda guessed that by the summary but still. hope it's not too much like delanda, i mean that's a great story but hopefully you just take the time travel thing. and maybe eblla's personality, that was pretty interesting. the prologue seems promising, i wish you luck
oh wow, a story inspired by delanda est? well i kinda guessed that by the summary but still. hope it's not too much like delanda, i mean that's a great story but hopefully you just take the time travel thing. and maybe eblla's personality, that was pretty interesting. the prologue seems promising, i wish you luck
6/5/2012 c2 Penseln
I'm a huge fan of delende est so i'm curious on your spin of it. So far its pretty good but i really want to see Bella enter the story and how you write her. Its a bit early to judge the story yet but so far its well written and shows a lot of promise so well done.
I'm a huge fan of delende est so i'm curious on your spin of it. So far its pretty good but i really want to see Bella enter the story and how you write her. Its a bit early to judge the story yet but so far its well written and shows a lot of promise so well done.
4/26/2012 c2 
1en extase
You're not allowed to straight up copy and paste song lyrics. :/ Not even after writing a disclaimer at the beginning of the chapter.
Just spend ten minutes and write your own spin on the lyrics with the same theme, but don't take others' work like that.
1en extaseYou're not allowed to straight up copy and paste song lyrics. :/ Not even after writing a disclaimer at the beginning of the chapter.
Just spend ten minutes and write your own spin on the lyrics with the same theme, but don't take others' work like that.
4/26/2012 c1 en extase
Great beginning! I had three favorite moments. The first was the description at the beginning with the rubble of Hogwarts falling all around Harry. It's a dramatic piece of imagery.
The second one was the touch of magic realism with the trees speaking to him. The atmosphere became sinister, and you made the hopelessness of the situation tangible.
Finally, Harry weighing going back vs. fighting to live another day. He could save his friends, but he'd condemn countless lives in sacrificing himself.
I like that as a writer you're finding ways to raise the stakes for Harry. It makes the story stay with the reader.
Great beginning! I had three favorite moments. The first was the description at the beginning with the rubble of Hogwarts falling all around Harry. It's a dramatic piece of imagery.
The second one was the touch of magic realism with the trees speaking to him. The atmosphere became sinister, and you made the hopelessness of the situation tangible.
Finally, Harry weighing going back vs. fighting to live another day. He could save his friends, but he'd condemn countless lives in sacrificing himself.
I like that as a writer you're finding ways to raise the stakes for Harry. It makes the story stay with the reader.