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for that will put her heart out like an only eye

1/19 c1 154HoshisamaValmor
nice story
5/28/2017 c1 1fandomlovr
That was SO good! I was so sad when it was over. You wrote this so well- I felt like I was watching a scene from the episode! Please do more Spartacus fanfics!
10/21/2015 c1 acctdisabled
Hi, She’s a Star. Your story was recommended by a user for our RLT story archives, so I am excited to review your work. I’m not super canon-knowledgeable on Spartacus, but nonetheless, here goes.

Definitely set the story up nicely in the beginning with the child kicking, and the importance of how different touching her stomach was. ‘young proud joy on his face,’ perhaps ‘young pride on his face?’ the dialogue does a good job of conveying his joy, so you don't necessarily have to state it. The imagery of the birds was beautiful and was effective to show how her happiness really is clouding everything else on the outside.

“…the painted birds on the wall may take flight..” I actually think here it would be more effective to remove the semicolon before ‘the’ and instead write ‘happiness, and…’ to increase the flow of the sentence. For the thought ‘Soon,’ since its her thoughts and not his, I’d recommend teasing that out. Maybe an adjustment here too: ‘or son live in father’s shadow’ to ‘or a son living in father’s shadow.’ The line ‘They will rest at last, knowing they can climb no higher’ really conveyed the importance of the childbirth and leaving a legacy. I also thought the line of ‘What joy lives on this earth that you have not given me?’ provided Batiatus some more depth by showing a caring side.

The ending was very unexpected and saddening- very well done. You didn’t have to explicitly state it was a miscarriage for me to understand the emotional impact and realism of what was going on. Great job!
7/21/2015 c1 75darkaccalia520
This was amazing! Of course, Lucretia would go to some sort of fantasy world than focus on what's really happening in present. I'd always sort of wished the baby had lived, but the child's death obviously left things open for other things to occur later. I do wonder if this scene had happened between she and Quintus in private. It seems like it could have, and even though she and Quintus deserved what had happened to them, I was sort of upset that Quintus had died. What might have been... This was some absolutely gorgeous writing! Well done! :)
4/2/2013 c1 98Dan Sickles
This is such a great story! It's just like Lucretia to not let herself feel the pain of being stabbed but retreat into this eerie and tragic fantasy world instead. Great job!
2/21/2013 c1 zzxxccvvbbnnmm
Beautiful. Absolutely perfect.
9/14/2012 c1 Xebe
Another fantastic ficlet! You are amazing at capturing the essence of the show! The tone is completly in keeping with Spartacus, again I can totally picture this as a scene. Great ideas.

I cannot wait to read more of your fic!

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