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for Jaws

7/7/2015 c1 78AkumuHoshi
I cry
9/16/2013 c1 m
c'est horrible !
3/12/2013 c1 Guest
trop triste
6/7/2012 c1 56Snowflake Archive
I’m happy to see that someone is writing about Bill and Will, who I believe are nice characters despite “Happy Feet Two” not really needing them. I also enjoy them as a pairing and it was nice to see their relationship tested.

I noticed that you need a little work catching your end-of-sentence punctuation. There were a couple of sentences that ended in periods where a comma was called for and other little things like that. A little proofread would get rid of those.

I’ll have to brush up on my research of course, but I’m not sure if sharks really go after krill.

Also, I feel that the sentence “because krill can breath in water” was not really needed.

There were plenty of things I did like though. Like the overall sorrow of the ending and Jill and Bill’s “2.5 krilldren.” Wit and heart overcome flaws.

*S. Snowflake

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