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for Dust Devils

6/18/2012 c17 Hundley
The chapter didn't come off as a struggle to produce at all. It was a perfect follow-up to the tragic affair of Emma's rape and murder, while still moving the story significantly forward. At lot happened in here, and although I can see how difficult it would be to put those two things coherently together and make it work, you succeeded.

I must have been in denial for dear Emma, as I didn't totally believe she was dead. Yet, in this chapter, she lingers on for her Florabel - she's not going to move on until Slaid is taken care of. What a wonderful twist after you created such a horrific death. I can't even imagine that slimy, disgusting, perverted Slaid touching someone so filled with goodness and unconditional love. That contrast between Emma and Slaid is what made the death touch the heart.

I also don't know what to say about Dean. You've nearly destroyed him physically; and that devastates me, yet you leave us with hope that he will save Florabel from that sick animal.

I can feel things moving quickly now. Sam, Bobby, Ellen, and Florabel are on it, and at least Florabel is cuddled up next to Dean. The pieces are in place, and I am again looking for another week in my life to pass quickly to see what happens. Damn you, woman!

Excellent, as usual. I expected no less from you.

6/18/2012 c17 3sam's folly
Oh, so good the way ur weaving things together. I can't imagine the plot holes u must have had to fill to make the time issues come out right.

I'm loving present-day florabel!
6/18/2012 c17 1Dandelo19
Thank you for this wonderful fanfiction so well written that I found out three days ago and this splendid chapter.

I look forward to read more.
6/16/2012 c16 grea8read
I can't believe you did that.

It's like I don't even know you anymore.

How in the world could you do that to Dean? How?

I don't know if we can continue on - I just don't know. I never thought you were capable of such a ... I mean I wanted to print this chapter just so I could stomp on it, rip it to pieces, make it not so.

Yeah, I - I - I just don't know where we are left standing. This was just the most evil cliff hanger I have ever read.

So, thanks for another mind reeling chapter and I am off to get my anti-anxiety and anti-depressants filled. Yeah, thanks bunches.

:D :D :D :D

P.S. I am just kidding (well, except for the meds part).

6/16/2012 c16 13Numpty
Amazing, amazing, AMAZING!

This chapter left me utterly speechless with awe and shock.

She turned and began walking away chaotically, legs lurching as though she had flippers on, her teeth rattling together as she hummed. Jeb caught her by the arm and started to turn her. She could see his mouth moving, but all she heard was her heartbeat. Everything started to tunnel in towards his lips, and she was utterly fascinated by his tongue as it flipped and flopped excitedly. She reached a finger out to poke it, but she was suddenly floating toward the ground. It was so odd to see Florabel looking down at her with such fear and distress, because she honestly never felt better. She was entirely warm and comfortable as the darkness descended. - Incredible. Just incredible.

his head pigeon-bobbing back and forth - SO in love with this line. Sheer genius! In fact, the whole scene where Sam and Florabel met was just pure perfection.

I love how similar Emma and Dean are, both absolutely determined to keep going even when they are hurt, always putting others first, and always trying to put a brave face on difficult emotions.

"I know I ain't your papa, but I couldn't love you any more if'n you was my own daughter. I'd be a broke man if anything happened to you." - Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful line. I don't think any other fanfic writer has ever created OCs that have tugged at my heartstrings so completely. Here is a gorgeous moment between two characters who aren't even Sam and Dean, and I'm STILL tearing up.

The scene between Dean and Emma was so raw, and even though the moment where they acknowledge that they can't be together had to come, jeez it still hurts. One of the things that so impresses me about your writing is your ability to create these real and true emotions. There is nothing contrived about them at all.

And oh, my heart just broke when Florabel said those words, because she'll come to regret them so much. How many of us have said things we don't mean but usually have the chance to make right? Poor, poor child.

And oh god, oh god, oh god...Emma! I know how hard it was for you to contemplate writing that, but man, it was heart-stoppingly tense and horrific and just fucking phenomenal!

Dean rested his chin on her head and mourned as well—mourned her pain and a life that forced these choices on him. His lack of choice, rather. There was no choice for him and never had been. He mourned that all he ever seemed to do was bring pain to others, and now, of all people, Florabel was going to be the next victim of his pathetic life - Oh Dean! That is just so sad, but so true to his character. I love those prophetic words that Dean says to Florabel too, about her going on to become a doctor. The influence he's had over her is so plain to see, but I just love the fact that he gives her that too.

Devastating ending, and even reading it felt like it was happening in slow motion. The instant that Dean and Florabel saw her lying there on the floor...There aren't words for how amazing that was. And then Jeb coming in and seeing them like that, I can completely understand the conclusion he came to even as I was praying for him to see the truth. But oh, I just ache for him.

And Dean...how much more can the poor boy take? Much more, I'm hoping! ;)

This is, without doubt, my favourite chapter of the whole story. It was flawless, riveting and mesmerising. Guh, I need more!
6/16/2012 c15 Numpty
LOVE Florabel and Ellen together, and I adore what a feisty lady Florabel has turned into. I really enjoyed getting to hear more about her life in this chapter, but I want to know more dammit!

There is such an aura of devastation after the passing of the storm which you write so well. I swear it's almost like you've really been there and are returning to tell the tale, I feel so surrounded by the atmosphere and my heart just aches for these characters who have already been through so much. Their worry for Dean shines through so strongly too.

This chapter was so completely thrilling, my heart was in my throat when Slaid turned up. And oh man, what he did to Dean...so sickening and yet absolutely enthralling. How do you DO that? I remember the first time I read it and you totally didn't let on beforehand that you were going there and it was like a sucker punch. Just wonderful!

I think my favourite moment though, is when Emma truly stands up to Slaid to protect Dean. That was such a powerful scene, and we can see just how much she too has grown as a character over the course of the story.

This story has me completely under its spell!
6/15/2012 c16 132Beckydaspatz
It didn't take long for the Ipecac to take effect—all over Emma, the bedding and Dean himself—several times, in fact, until nothing else but bile and dirt came up. The projectile vomiting set off a harsh coughing fit, leaving Dean beet-red and gasping. He passed out right after that, and Emma sat in stunned silence, surrounded by vomit, trying to get her hand to stop shaking long enough to recap the bottle.-Oh thank GOD. I mean, I knew he was going to be okay, but damn if you didn't make me worry. Great, great, GREAT scene.

She had to pick each foot up deliberately and maneuver through the room on knees that refused to hinge. She was humming in her throat, trying to find her voice so that she could tell them she was coming. Nothing came out, though, so she just kept humming. Doc Dawson and Jeb were peering worriedly through the window. Unlocking and opening the door with hands that couldn't feel the doorknob was tricky, but she finally managed it. She turned and began walking away chaotically, legs lurching as though she had flippers on, her teeth rattling together as she hummed. Jeb caught her by the arm and started to turn her. She could see his mouth moving, but all she heard was her heartbeat. Everything started to tunnel in towards his lips, and she was utterly fascinated by his tongue as it flipped and flopped excitedly. She reached a finger out to poke it, but she was suddenly floating toward the ground. It was so odd to see Florabel looking down at her with such fear and distress, because she honestly never felt better. She was entirely warm and comfortable as the darkness descended.-Wow, poor Emma. Guess her poor body had finally had enough.

Florabel's hands shook as she opened the door to Bobby and Sam. The communication gap between her brain and mouth was as wide as a country mile, so she just stood there gaping at Sam, her eyes sweeping over him as he towered above her. Her mouth flapped a couple of times before she gave up. Ellen wasn't wasting any time, however, needing no prologue or ceremony. -How did I never notice how you mirrored Florabel and Emma here? It's freaking brilliant. Really, REALLY awesome!

"Happened?" Florabel stared at him, twisted with pain and sorrow. "What happened?" Tears started filling her eyes. "Slaid happened, that's what. Slaid happened to all of us. He ruined everything," she said brokenly.-*crushes Florabel to chest and tries not to break anything* Oh honey, I'm so sorry. How can I possibly feel this stsrongly about a fictional character? Huh? You're a wonderful storyteller my friend. Just stunning.

Emma opened her eyes to the rattle of glass beads clicking together and strange slurping noises. She blinked in confusion, trying to recall why she'd slept so late. She felt the bed jiggle and turned her head, practically bumping into Florabel's face so close to hers. The child's lumpy cheeks were puffed out with marbles and she enthusiastically gurgled against them while she watched her mother. When Emma turned, Florabel's blue eyes grew large. She quickly spit out the marbles, leaving thin strings of slimy saliva connecting them to her tongue.- I cain't copy and paste the WHOLE chapter...why must you be so amazing?

"Been other things to think about. I must 'a forgot," she said distractedly -Can totally relate to this one, at least this week.

Jeb walked up to Emma and handed her the wad of cash. "Doc wouldn't take a cent, Em. Not even for the medicines he left." Jeb kissed her cheek. "They's some beans in the pot, darlin'. Just need heatin' up. Eat and then please go git more rest. You scared an old man near to death today." He hugged the young woman and kissed her hair. "I'll be back right quick," he said. "An' I'll make sure Dean ain't alone while you rest. You got Old Jeb, darlin'." He placed a knotted and gnarled hand on her cheek. "I know I ain't your papa, but I couldn't love you any more if'n you was my own daughter. I'd be a broke man if anything happened to you."-I want to relish in this sentiment, to hold it close and let it melt right into my heart, but it's awfully foreboding and well...you know.

You were like that one broken coil in a mattress that kept him awake at night. You were the most important thing to him even when he didn't know you." Sam ran his hands through his hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He finally remembered everything during the storm," Florabel said.-Guh. What a beautiful moment. I really, REALLY love the broken coil comparison.

He could see the monster's paw-print on his thigh, the nail-bites still red and angry.-Really like how you have 'animalised' Slaid. Don't think that's a word, but it is now. :P

"Is there any coffee?" he asked hopefully. At this point he would gladly gnaw the grinds if that was all there was. Emma nodded and poured him a mug, setting it down and patting his good shoulder before resuming her work. "Thanks," he said gratefully. He took a sip and wondered how long it had been since he'd had a beer…or whiskey. He cleared his throat and picked up a frame that was sitting on the table. "What's this?" he asked, looking at it. Emma's face relaxed a little, and she smiled at him, as warm and intimate as a caress. His inclination to reciprocate, however, was smothered in guilt, and he quickly cast his eyes back down to the photo, squinting to try and bring it into focus.-it's SO very impressive how you have managed to change the tone completely with so few words. WOW.

he put the picture down as though it had grown teeth. His stomach knotted with shame and remorse-POWERFUL.

"Besides, you have to git well so's you can court me proper," she said with sparkling eyes. They dulled immediately when she saw something strange in his expression. She cleared her throat and turned back to the window, wiping it without any thought given to cleaning, using the motion as a shield against the humility and embarrassment she suddenly felt, rubbing away the look she'd seen in his eyes, praying she was mistaken.-I'm about to cry.

Emma opened her eyes, looking past the stain, out toward the barnyard and the dwindling drift that had blocked the backdoor for days. The wind continued to eat away at it, flecks of dust flying past the window as she stared out. "Remembered?" she said blandly, a near monotone coming from her stone mask. "What did you remember?"

"How I got here. Sam. Everything," he said. "I remember who I am."

Emma remained staring out the window, fixating on the desolate view of the barnyard. She could see the chicken-coop that sheltered no life, the barn that housed no cow. "My goodness," she said quietly, without emotion. "That's wonderful, Dean." She bit her lip, feeling the tangy pull of tears behind her eyes. "So, I expect you's gonna be headin' out so's you can git on with everything, then?" she said. "Find Sam and git your revenge?"

Dean shook his head. "You were right, Em," he sighed. "I wasn't seeing the whole picture. Sam didn't do this," he pointed to his shoulder. "Not the way I thought. And I have to find him. He's in trouble and he needs me."

She dropped her cleaning rag on the butcher block and braced her hands on the warped wood. "I see," she said lamely.

"Emma," Dean said walking over to her, but he could see her shrivel away from his touch. He almost withdrew his hand, but he set it on her shoulder anyway. "Emma, there is no way to ever explain things to you that would make sense," he began.

"Don't have to, Dean," she said, picking up the rag and folding it in her hands over and over and over again. Staring at it. "Y'don't owe me nothin'," she said.

"I owe you everything. I owe you my life. Two or three times, probably more," he said ruefully. "Emma," he tried to turn her toward him, but she gently fought the pull. He continued until she relented and faced him. "Emma, I want you to know something. There is only one thing that would ever force me to leave you and Florabel," he said.

"An' this is it, ain't it?" she finished, her eyes slowly meeting his. "This is the one thing?" The momentum of her voice was steady, keeping the thin, steel rod of her emotions from snapping.

Dean's jaw clenched as he strove to find any words that would take away her pain—their pain. "Yes," he said. "I'm so sorry." She nodded and refolded the towel in her hands.-There are few things in life more painful than this.

There are no words for the Slaid/Emma part, just disgust and rage and a sadness so profound I had to remind myself she isn't real.

"How…," she cried out, exhausting herself. Her head fell against his neck and she breathed erratically, sobs wrenching themselves free as the rest of her body went limp. "How can you leave me when I love you so?" Her body wracked out a tremor, and she began sobbing pitifully.

The realization of what he'd be leaving behind began to crush him to the ground.-I feel like I can't breathe.

The little girl snuffled and her chest hitched, but she didn't cry. "And whenever you see a full moon, Pally, that'll be me sayin' I love you."

Dean took several breaths. "Me too, 'Bel," he said and kissed her hair.-That did it, I'm bawling.

He felt Florabel's scream more than he heard it. It thrilled right through him until it buzzed against his spine.-Fuck.

For the person who said that your story was like a Lifetime movie, I DARE them to find a more moving, powerful, sweet, terrifying, honest, raw, and evocative piece on that channel. They are going to have a hard time, because this...this is a masterpiece.

Thank you SO much for sharing it.
6/15/2012 c15 Beckydaspatz
needing the feel of her daughter's weight on her, craving the beat of her small heart against her own.-AWWWWWWWWW!

Florabel twitched and whimpered, her eyes darting back and forth under her lids, lost in a nightmare of wind and dirt, no doubt. Emma held her tight and patted her back until she opened her eyes briefly. "Mama," she murmured softly, settling back down without ever having fully roused. She simply passed from nightmare into dream with a slight sigh of relief. Emma tucked Florabel's small, pink foot under the shawl and went back to rocking her gently.-That's SO precious and SO well deserved for both of them.

She was the strongest woman he knew, and it pained him to see her edges crumble. It was as inconceivable and tragic as watching a diamond shatter.-*gasp* I LOOOOOOOOOVE that line. Like really a whole, freaking LOT. BEAUTIFUL.

Jeb turned from the window. "Oh, Em," he breathed out. "I forgot to tell you with everything that happened." He looked to make sure that Florabel was still asleep. "Little Lizzy Crawford," he said, lowering his voice.-Oh. *sobs* I think I may have forgotten too.

Ellen chuckled at one with a much younger version of the doctor, probably taken in the '50's judging by the hairstyles and clothing. Florabel was feeding a baby in a highchair and both mother and child were turned to the camera with matching yucky faces.-Oh, I just LOVE that.

"Don't got one. Never did," Florabel said. She looked at Ellen's surprised face. "I ain't a lesbian," she laughed. "I just weren't too lucky in love," she snorted. All the same, there was a soft sadness in her eyes when she said it.-BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh I just LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Florabel (it will probably cut it out, but it was love with a fuckton of O's) Old, young, any way you slice it she is my favorite OC of all time.

she said with a Mona Lisa smile,-AWESOME!

Florabel chuckled. "No. They just didn't want to come right out and call me a 'bitch' to my face. I was a young M.D. They thought they was bein' clever with the initials, like I was too dumb to figure it out."-Awesome, awesome, AHHHHHHHSOME!

"Oh don't worry, honey," Florabel laughed. "I made damn good an' sure that I earned the nickname fair an' square. An' for the worst of them chauvinists, I would always snicker through their prostate exams," she said, wiggling her pinky. "That usually shut them up."

"Florabel, honey," Ellen said, amused and genuinely impressed. "You are definitely a woman after my own heart."-Ellen and Florabel might be a new OTP. :D They are both so great.

Old Jeb kept reminding them that Pally didn't know what he was sayin' and to not take his babblings to heart. He'd even grinned and called him 'creative' after a few exceptionally long outbursts. But it didn't make the words sting less. A bite was a bite, no matter if the dog was aiming for your leg or someone else's, she reckoned.-That's such a simple and moving statement, that it gave me pause.

"Mama," Florabel said languidly as she sucked on her nightgown ties. "What's a fuckwad douchenozzle?" Emma's eyes grew cavernous.-OHMYGAWD! Just choked on my drink. Holy Hell, that's GREAT!

"He ain't gonna leave his girls, no how."-*crack* Oh, my heart!

Emma pushed him out and shut the screen door, looking at him coldly through the dusty mesh.-I'm IN LOVE with that image. Do you hear me? IN LOVE.

He had even left it unsullied despite his own cravings at the time.-*pukes, gags, spits, flails* In that order.

"I'm sorry," Slaid said. "I did not understand. Slaid will prove to you that he's worthy." Surely the Hala would transfer the power back to him once he'd removed the usurper.-Oh, HELL no.

Florabel nodded. "It was taken on my eighth birthday, the day of the black blizzard. Black Sunday," she said. "It started out as one of the happiest days of my life. Ended a whole different way, though."-Oh, baby girl *snuggles*

"Pally?" Ellen belted out again, stiff and wheezy, like she'd just downed a double whiskey, neat.

"It wasn't his real name," Florabel said. "It's just what I called him. His name was Dean. Dean…" she hesitated for a moment, remembering. "Dean Hetfield," she said. She grabbed the frame from Ellen when the younger woman nearly dropped it. "What?" Florabel asked. "What's wrong?"

"One moment," Ellen said, as she grabbed her cell phone with a shaky hand and pressed a button. "Sam, honey," she said after a pause. "You and Bobby stop what you're doing and get over to Mad Dog's right away. I have a lead on your brother. Hurry," she said and hung up. The two women looked at one another, each absorbing different types of shocks.

"D—did you…" Florabel stuttered. "Did you just say Sam?"-Perfect moment, just bloody perfect.

Slaid breathed in deeply, savoring the young man's confusion and weakened state. He eyed him up and down, watching him for a long moment until he gave into the temptation to play a little while. He raked a hand through his greasy hair and then slithered it under the sick man's shorts and fondled him. Dean's eyes snapped open, his bonds interrupting the savage punch he tried to throw.-Ewww, ewww, ewww, ewwww, ! (you get the point)

He pulled his hand out of Dean's shorts and rubbed his hand around and around on top of the fabric. -Grossgrossgrossgrossgross! Hate this dude, for real!

The farmhand continued to rub against Dean as he bent close and began licking a clammy trail up his chest, stopping when he reached his nipple. His tongue slithered like an eel around and around. Dean shuddered with disgust and rage, the tart tang of bile mixing with mud in his throat.-Ugh,guh. You sure know how to make a villian Kat, no chance for redemption here.

"Git out. If you ever come near me or my family, I will kill you." She was no longer trembling. Her hand was solidly pointing the gun, her eyes focused on her target, looking down the sights, drawing a bead. She gripped the gun steadily, making certain that the shot wouldn't be wild or ill aimed. Slaid could see her complete concentration and determination. He moved, quickly—his hands raised in the air.-YEAH! Go EMMA!

"Mmm a'righ'. S'm?" he mumbled and coughed feebly. "Sam?" he pled. Emma picked up the bottle and saw how much was gone.

"Dear God," she said. She shook him again. "Wake up, Dean." His lids slitted briefly but then closed again. "Don't go to sleep! Dean!" she yelled frantically. "Stay with me!" she begged, but he didn't answer.-Ajo;afodiha;fkhd;afdkahfsdkl *dies* Oh, for the first time ever, I'm SO glad I'm behind on this story.

*races off to read the next chapter*
6/15/2012 c14 Beckydaspatz
I'm ! Didja miss me? Huh? Didja? :P

Anywho, I'll stop fishing for compliments and get back to your story. :D

The storm had been a living entity. Evil. Monstrous. That storm had not been impersonal or unaware. This storm knew them, and Florabel was certain that it had wanted them dead. It had marked them, had singled them out specifically, and there'd been no more chance of escaping it any more than they could have outrun a bullet. It had mocked their pain with taunting whispers and tried at every turn to harm them. She'd only ever known such malice once before.-THIS is such a powerful way to start your chapter. Poor Florabel, she's breaking my heart. Nice touch to throw in Slaid thing. UGH. Hate that guy.

She tunneled like a mole under Dean's shirt and finally popped out the top, her head pressing against the bottom of his chin.-This is so cute, despite the horrible predicament they are both in.

The dust-covered landscape was lit silver by the moon, three quarters full. A few comet-like tails of dust caught the moonlight and continued to serpentine through the air, but it was all settling quickly in the complete absence of any wind. The world was eerily still—shell shocked, glassy-eyed, and utterly mute.-*shudders* I can see this so clearly...

"Mama!" she called out. Her voice was weak with exhaustion and emotion. "Mama!" she called again and began wallowing in the drift, flailing in an attempt to reach the stairs. She tried to be brave, but she started crying just the same. She struggled to work her way to the porch, but her body wouldn't work properly anymore. Her movements were jerky and palsied from exertion. Just as her spirit was flagging, the door opened. Emma moved onto the porch, holding a small kerosene lamp in her hand and looking out into the night. Florabel could see her vacant expression as the woman looked around hopelessly. She was also covered head to toe in dark dust. It couldn't have been that much better inside the house, even with all the weather-stripping they'd done.

"Mama…" Florabel's small voice rasped out as she worked her arms and legs sluggishly through the drift, getting nowhere, her body near the point of collapse. Emma turned, her face a wrecker-ball of emotion when she saw her daughter for the first time. She released a growl, raw and primitive, from somewhere so deep it was barely audible, but Florabel could feel the vibration of it all the way through the drift. The woman fumbled, setting the lantern down hastily. With her eyes fixed on Florabel, she threw herself into the drift, barreling her way to her daughter, her legs thrusting away as much dust as they could. Her arms stretched out for her child, and, reaching her, she swept the girl into a crushing, unrelenting embrace. Emma clutched her daughter to her, wringing her out, shaking her in a violent caress. The woman's voice was no more than a series of garbled noises, wordless endearments and gasps. She strove to fill her arms with as much of her daughter as she could, kissing her anywhere her lips happened to find themselves as they roamed over her little body. Florabel began to cry again.

"Mama," she wailed. "Mama…"

"Shhh, baby," Emma crooned, her first real words. "Shhh." She sunk into the drift with her daughter and rocked her gently. "Shhh…Mama's here," she comforted them both.-Jesus CHRIST. This scene wrecked me. I feel that you have really got a grip on what a mother's love is and how undeniable and unshakable it really is. God, this is gorgeous. It moved me the first (and 2nd and 3rd) time I read it and it's shaken me to my core now. Lovely.

"I got her, Em," Jeb said as he made quick work of the drift with his longer legs. He scooped the little girl up in his arms. "You can hold the lamp for us, OK, doll?" he said picking up the lantern. The little girl swallowed another sob and nodded. "Good girl," he said. "Let's go git your Pally back to you."

-Jeb's a fucking superhero. Nough said.

At first Sam thought Dean had left the TV on again. If he'd told him once, he told him a hundred times to shut the damn thing off. At this point, Sam was certain that Dean was just doing it deliberately to provoke him. He could see his shit-eating smirk, already. Asshole. After a few groggy seconds, however, Sam realized that the voices were coming from inside the room. He sat up with a jolt and immediately hissed, grabbing his ribs, seized by both a sharp pain and the bone-deep realization there was no way that Dean could have left the TV on.-Love this. The jolt between the sleeping and waking world is oft times more painful when you wake up alone. Really nice touch.

Sam bitchfaced him, seething worse than a Yellowstone geyser. -Ruh roh.

"I did no such thing," Bobby defended himself hotly but then cooled immediately with a contrite shrug. "Technically, it was Ellen," he said, pointing to his accomplice.

"While you distracted him," Ellen said. She put her hand on Sam's shoulder. "Hackles down, boy. You needed the rest. You were out of fumes to run on."-Bobby and Ellen are the best duo ever. Well...the best opposite sex duo. :)

If I can handle Bobby Singer on a bender, I can handle some old coot with an attitude." Her eyes glinted with mischief.

"You're hilarious," Bobby groused.

Ellen nipped the old hunter's nose and gave his cheek a couple of light smacks with her hand. "And don't you forget it." She grabbed her jean-jacket-Fuck, I love them.

With effort, Jeb got him out of the drift and laid him down flat. The old man tapped Dean's cheek as they all huddled around. "Christ, he's a mess," Jeb assessed, looking Dean over. He was covered in black dirt from stem to stern, black, muddy blood saturating his clothing. His chest heaved and rattled with every breath. Jeb looked at Florabel. "How'd you make it through without being as bad off?" he asked. Florabel pointed to Dean's burst buttons.-Jeb has come a LONG way from 'Jaddison' *snort* Really love all of the hurt!Dean.

Emma pulled the washtub over and set it by the table. She peeled Dean's overalls down to his waist and removed the shirt, leaving him in his union suit. "Dean," she tried to rouse him, but he was entirely insensible. She examined the mud on his eyes and gulped squeamishly. "We'll git you fixed up in no time, Dean." She smiled at him even though he couldn't see or hear her. Her fingers shook as she lightly brushed them through his hair. "You done real good, Dean. You got Florabel back to me safe, just like you promised you would. I cain't never repay you for that, and they ain't no words to tell you how much it means. Ain't no words to tell you how much you mean..." Tears spilled down her dirty cheeks as she took his hand in hers. "Me an' Florabel is right here," she said as the little girl climbed up on a chair and leaned against the table.-*shatters* It's SO sweet and yet...I know it cain't last.

"I told them other fellers from Monsanto that they could kiss my ass," she barked. "An' I'm tellin' you the same thing. I ain't plantin' your damn seeds on purpose. If'n they don't want them freaks of nature to go airborne and take root amidst innocent people's crops then they should Frankenstein them things to stay put in their own fields. It ain't like they haven't jerry-rigged their genetics in all other respects. God damned vultures! I don't even want yer damn seeds in my field. Them mutants is contaminatin' my clean crops. Now git the hell off my property. Sue me if'n you want, but I'll fight you pricks to my last dyin' breath! Just watch an' see if I don't!"-GREAT introduction. G.R.E.A.T.

"Oh hell, just call me by my given name," she said, closing the door and pointing to the parlor. "I'm Florabel—Florabel Livingston."

-Whoo-fuckin-HOO! Can't wait to see more of this. Wonderful, amazing and awesome. Like you would ever write anything else. :)
6/15/2012 c16 21molotovmullet
Aaaaand again you have killed me. Sometimes it is no wonder Dean doesn't mind just giving up when it really seems there's no way to get out of a particular situation. If shit kept happening like that, you'd want to keep over and die too. )':

But great job3 I love when you torture the boys, especially Dean. As horrible as that is. Whoops.

Anyway, GREAT JOB:3


... Wow. Ne'er thought I'd wish Monday came faster. HAHAHAHAHA.

Seeeeeeee yaaaaaaa
6/14/2012 c16 Star
Ran out of space in the other review. I really really have no words to express how d I feel about Emma, Kat. Every time I think Slaid can't get any worse, his evil deeds take on a new level.

And really, blaming Dean? I want to just... Now, I hope Bel is the one who gets to finally kill him. Painfully, and slowly. Though the rational part of my brain says that she's been through enough, and doesn't need any more tragedy.

Okay, I feel guilty, because I didnt recognize what you could have altered for me. Was it Jeb's words to Emma before he left?

This chapter read like a tragic tale that brought me to tears. Hope Dean does not suffer any permanent damage because of all the physical blows, and that Jeb can get his head straight that Dean would never, NEVER hurt Emma or Bel. Oh, and that Bel is fine.

Hugs for your courage to write this heart wrenching chapter.


P.s. I'm going on vacation next week, so might not be able to RnR until I'm back. Wich sucks, because I need my weekly dose of Dean and Bel. :)
6/14/2012 c15 Star
Hey Kat! So very sorry for the late review. I wrote the review out, and forgot to push the Submit button, and just realized now that I hadn't reviewed. My laptop's been acting really funky, and quits on me for no reason. But, anyways, you can read two reviews now!

First off, Thank You! I feel so very honoured that you altered something for me in Ch. 15. I have yet to read it to will let you know in the 2nd review. I feel so, so lucky!

I was very happy last chapter, when Bel turned out t be Mad Dog (which by the way, awesome story behind the nickname! I can SOOO imagine her giving the men a hard time for being so sexist!). I WAS the one who got the song reference in KMS, but that was far too easy, since its one of my favourite songs, and it fit utterly perfectly to the story. Though I guess you gave us multiple clues to Bel's future career as as well, with so many nay-sayers, and non-believers. I;m glad she was able to break the gender barriers and pursue her dream.

Old Jeb is very cool! I can totally see the grandfather character origins in him, so you did a fab job, as always. And with SPN, I always think family is a lot more than just sharing blood, so even though he isn't related to them, he totally is family. I love his nicknames for Bel, and the way he's so supportive to Emma.

Ellen meeting Bel, yeah, after reading this chapter, that made total sense. ANd I do agree, Sammy would be so focused on the info. Bel and Ellen's interaction was fabulous! I can so imagine it. Except, its kind of hard to imagine or sweet little 'Bel as an old lady.

On to teh chappie:

She sat down with her in the rocking chair, needing the feel of her daughter's weight on her, craving the beat of her small heart against her own. Dean must have somewhat perceived Florabel's sudden absence because he mumbled angrily and tried to reach out before being stopped by the restraints they'd had to put on him to keep him from rubbing his eyes. - Okay, again, beautiful mother-daughter scene, with Dean's subconscious need for Bel (or Sammy!) thrown in. Totally natural reactions from both.

Oh, poor Pennny! I was so focused on Dean and Bel during the storm I forgot about the animals! Bad Star! Although, after Jeb's words here, I feel worse, because I felt horrible about Penny, but again missed the chickens. I guess, giving her a name made Penny seem much more real.

"Animals can be replaced." - Ok, now I totally understand where Emma is coming from, but as a die-hard animal lover, this statement totally made her lose a few Brownie points with me. With me, every life is irreplacable.

It was as inconceivable and tragic as watching a diamond shatter. - Wow Kat, just, WOW! Fab sentence.

Oh no, they found out about Lizzy! All sad revelations here, huh? But, they haven't found her yet...hmm. I don't think I want to see that scene yet. Not so soon after the storm. I'm still reeling from that.

Bel-Ellen scene:

Bel as a single mum and a doctor during a time when women were definitely losing out...interesting. But, I can completely see the courage and perseverance from Emma having been passed on to her daughter. Love Bel for this, and you for conceiving of it.

Aw, she has a daughter, who is also a doctor. Cute! No husband, also totally conceivable with Bel.

"I weren't a nun. I did have company from time to time, so I weren't always alone." - LOL! Hahaahaha.

"Florabel, honey," Ellen said, amused and genuinely impressed. "You are definitely a woman after my own heart."


"Mama," Florabel said languidly as she sucked on her nightgown ties. "What's a fuckwad douchenozzle?" Emma's eyes grew cavernous. - ROTFL! You should NOT be repeating that Bel!

Slaid-Emma confrontation:

Two words - mind blowing! You go Emma! STick it to him, woman! I can't wait for her to find out about how sick he really is, and just, okay, so maybe I want Emma to kill Slaid, is that wrong?

Bel-Ellen (2):

Florabel shot her a glance. "He was a friend," she said. "The best I ever had," she added quietly. - Just friend? That disappointed me a bit Kat, and seemed kind of OOC. I figure, with all that they've been through, Bel wouldn't say he was just a friend.


GOD! That man needs to die, and he needs to die NOW! Geez Kat! Last time, I was prepared for the the assault, and even then I had a hard time breathing through it. This tim, it was out of nowhere, and I just...have no words, except for that I want to strangle that THING with my bare hands. He is a sick, twisted, disgusting piece of garbage that is unworthy of breathing the same air as Dean, let alone laying a hand on him. OhhK rant over.

Dean's helplessness...it just broke me Kat. It reminded me a little bit of Dean in the last few chapters of Killing Me Softly, except, that was a soul rape, and made me sad beyond words, this, this just made me angry.

His question about Slaid's clothes, okay, totally unexpected, but totally perfect! Slaid's days are numbered, woohoo! I can't wait!

Emma pointing the gun at him...brava! Love her just the more for it.

Ok, that's all for now. Will read Ch 16 and get back to you on that.

Oh, oops, forgot to mention, Slaid's mother thought him huh? Well, I guess the evilness might run in his famiyl then!

Ch 16:

"Boys, I need you to keep your heads, now," she warned. "We got a lot of work ahead of us, and we ain't got time for hysterics," she said wide-eyed.

"Then you might want to skip the hysterics yourself and tell us what you found," Bobby jabbed. - HAHAHAHAHA! Love it! Ellen and Bobby have the best dynamic!

Sam was still huffing and puffing as he looked at the photo. "It can't be. This guy's wearing overalls for Christ's sake." - LOL, okay, so that's what you pick up on Sammy? I'm sure you wont let him live it down once you get over him being back safe and sound.

"Became like one of the family." - see, this is more like what I would picture Bel saying about Pally.

"He drank enough to kill hisself a few times over. Make sure them tethers is tight enough that he cain't git out of 'em to hurt hisself like that agin." - Puh-lease, Mr. Doctor. Dean is NOT the type to commit suicide (except if its to save someone else's life!).

Okay, I'm not very satisfied with Jeb's reaction to Emma saying Slaid did it. Not sure, I thought he'd be angrier.

"I know I ain't your papa, but I couldn't love you any more if'n you was my own daughter. I'd be a broke man if anything happened to you." - this brought tears to my eyes, Kat! Pass on a tight hug to Old Jeb for me, will ya?

"Florabel's gonna be fit to be tied. She has such a crush on you." She smiled and turned away, clearing her throat. - I don;t even want to imagine how broken she would be (I would be..).

"Ain't no way he can leave us. We's his family. We's your family, Pally. You cain't just leave." Florabel looked like she'd been stabbed in the heart. Her face plummeted and her eyes pooled. - OH God, Kat. I think this just might make me cry more than when I read about the assault. Its like I can hear her heart break into little pieces.

Florabel turned scarlet with rage. "You don't care! You don't care what I want! How could you, Mama? I hate you! I hate you both!" The hard edge of her fury sliced right through them. - Geezus, Bel. Its this little sentence, 3 words... I've seen kids say it to their parents in real life, but it scares me soo much, hearing it from Bel right now. Poor Emma!

Fear and disgust coiled and twined together, choking her every bit as much as the fingers around her throat. - Oh God. That's how I'm feeling right now, for you Emma!

Oh Kat...I don't even have words to tell you how sad I feel for Emma. Besides what Slaid did to her, I think what breaks my heart more is that she found out about Bel through him, in the worst way possible. And poor Bel, if Emma dies right now the last thing shw would have said to her mother would be I hate you. I just. If the Lizzy scene was hard, I can't even imagine how utterly devastating this must have been for you to write. Hugs to you hunny, for putting this into words. I know i would not have been able to.

"You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. And you're going to help your mama, and you're going to be OK. You'll get through this and then you're gonna go back to school. You're gonna study hard and become a doctor if that's what you want." - Those wre the exact words I would say to Bel then, and to Bel the doctor now. She really is an amazingly brave girl, just like her Mama, and dare I say, just like her Pally.

"That only means you're going to be thirty years ahead of all them other girls if you go on and do what you want with your life, now," he said. "You're gonna be a doctor one day. You'll help so many people, Florabel. You'll settle down and get married and have a family. You're going to have what I c…" His voice cracked and he swallowed. "You're going to have what I can't…no matter how much I want it." - SHe did Dean, she did it. And I wish so could you. You would be so proud of her. Kat, you're breaking my heart into a million pieces right now, and I love you for it, because I'm sure you'll pick up all the pieces and fix it soon. I really hope this fic has a happy ending. Really, truly.

The little girl snuffled and her chest hitched, but she didn't cry. "And whenever you see a full moon, Pally, that'll be me sayin' I love you." - Now you know what I'll be doing every full moon, Kat! :P

Oh God. She saw her...she saw her like that. I take it back. THIS must have been the hardest scene to write. This whole chapter. I don't know how you did it Kat. I guess the strength I see in our 2 girls is really yours, isn't it?

Poor, sweet Emma. And I just knew, knew that Slaid was going to be blaming Dean for this. Pleas,e Jeb. Tell me you don't believe it. God Kat.

I hope B
6/14/2012 c16 7nej47
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGH! I just...how can...but you need...HOW...?

6/14/2012 c16 32ackeberlynn
"Happened?" Florabel stared at him, twisted with pain and sorrow. "What happened?" Tears started filling her eyes. "Slaid happened, that's what. Slaid happened to all of us. He ruined everything," she said brokenly."

You know when I read this, I knew something bad was going to happen, but nothing could have prepared me for the shock and horror of this chapter.

Oh my god...oh my god. How could you? How could you kill off Emma? My god...who will take care of Florabel? Hasn't this wonderful child lost enough? And such a terrible way to die. And now Jeb thinks Dean killed her...my god.

I feel bereft...hearbroken...dismayed. It is a testament of your talent that I can feel so much for an OC.

This was such a powerful chapter - certain parts hit me in particular:

"Florabel's suffering was raw. There was no inner censor, no learned stoicism, nothing to hold her grief in check or to dilute it—no feigned understanding or polite niceties. She wept wholly and completely, her young heart broken utterly, and Dean's heart broke along with it. He held her close and kissed her warm straw-colored braids as she wept. She held onto him as tightly as she had during the dust storm. This time she clung to him out of the sincerest need, the deepest love, a child could feel. Dean rested his chin on her head and mourned as well—mourned her pain and a life that forced these choices on him. His lack of choice, rather. There was no choice for him and never had been."

A perfect description of a child's innocent, unrestrained grief, and Dean's helplessness.

Then there was this:

"Breathe, Emma," he demanded. He was vaguely aware of Florabel screaming and calling her mother's name over and over again, but his entire awareness tunneled down to just the lifeless woman in front of him. "Emma!" he commanded. He began chest compressions, counting them off until he reached thirty and gave two more breaths. He began the compressions again, and he watched as his own tears spilled onto her chest. "No!" he cried out. "No you don't. God damn you Emma!" he bellowed angrily."

You captured Dean's shock, grief, and rage perfectly.

God - this is so horrible. Florabel's lost the last of her family - orphaned completely. And because of her tantrum, those last words to her mother, running out of the house and unwittingly leaving her vulnerable, will haunt her for the rest of her life. So terrible. And Dean - Dean is going to blame himself, of course.

I thought I couldn't wait for Slaid to get what's coming to him before - now I'm aching for it.

This was a wonderful, terrible, gripping, shocking chapter.

I can't get over Emma's death though. I just can't. :(
6/14/2012 c16 51emebalia
I love how Bobby is already at "So that's why the spell didn't work." while Sam still struggles with "It can't be. This guy's wearing overalls for Christ's sake."

Poor Emma, is she the second spirit? Hope they'll sort this out (I'm looking at Jeb) before Slaid can hurt Florabel more.

Dark and intense, great chapter.
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