Just In
for Another beginning, another ending

9/24/2016 c16 12Fencer22
Hmm, this seems fairly dead but it's not bad. Doesn't seem to be a lot of follows or favs at least for this fandom. Did lack of interest make it hard to keep working on? *shrugs* anyway I did enjoy this and your writings not bad. If you ever decide to take another crack at writing my only real advice would be to spend a bit less time on the buildup of skills and abilities. Try to keep the plot moving more quickly and then spread the training montage out between scenes.
7/27/2014 c16 sept1973
I started reading this story after finding and reading your "History Bites Back" fic. I'm happy to see a story where Naruto is getting trained early, and like the fact that while you are using canon as a guide, you are changing things around to fit your story better.

I hope you manage to work through whatever has you stumped on the next few chapters, without having to cut things out like you mention on your profile.
5/14/2014 c16 5Amidamaru88
Before I go and give a more in depth review I have two questions to ask. Have you lost inspiration for this fic? When do you think you will finish the story?
11/11/2013 c9 4Hochmeister
I really want to like this story. It's got a good premise, is very well written, develops the characters well and consistently with cannon, and features Naruto and Hinata. However, there's a reason I've stopped reading here at chapter nine. To be blunt, it's boring.

The pace of the story is simply too slow for my tastes. I skipped ahead to the end, and 100k words in you still haven't reached cannon. Most of what I did read was either political machinations or training, and my short glimpse at Ch16 didn't lead me to believe that there was anything different in between. While both of those have their place in a story, when overused they can ruin it. The nuances of the political maneuverings in the elemental nations or the intricacies of taijutsu styles simply don't make for good reading, and there's not enough action, drama, comedy, or saccharine fluff to compensate. Essentially you've written a very long training arc with very little plot development. While the characters have developed (quite nicely I must add), they haven't really done anything in the "meta" story of the Naruto verse. There's no real direction in the story, and it feels somewhat listless.

Another more subjective issue I have is about OC's. Personally I read fanfiction to see cannon characters in different situations, not new characters. In a universe as big as Naruto populated with so many criminally underdeveloped characters there's no real need to make up characters which your readers won't feel any attachment to.

Hopefully this didn't come off as condescending or overly critical. It's a good premise; Kishimoto's really shafted the female cast. At this point I can't decide if I want to laugh or cry when Sakura appears in the manga. Also mega-kudo's for also thinking of having Hinata use the Flying Thunder God; I've wanted to work that into one of my stories for a while now. However, for me this story is just too bogged down with training and politics to enjoy.
10/6/2013 c16 16Lerris
Good overall, but I recommend picking up the pace a bit and maybe adding a time skip...
7/7/2013 c16 AfterLyfe
I really like it I just wished they came out faster no offense
1/5/2013 c16 RedEye00
Good chapter. Poor Nana. If she finds out it was Naruto then she'll definitely make sure he pays for it, huh?
I wonder why the genin teams in canon didn't train much together as it would've helped them adapt to other fighting styles and tactics.
11/8/2012 c15 afterfake13
The counter-infiltration scene was done hella well.
11/5/2012 c15 RedEye00
Great teamwork by the Genin to capture a spy, and luckily for them there were no serious casualties. Where did Hinata hit? Funny that she never mentioned it.
11/3/2012 c15 Dquinnicus
Impossible Mission! I miss that game.
11/2/2012 c15 1Ryuujin96
I loved the chapter and the fight scene in this chapter. Though I feel Kurenai was a bit harder on Naruto then was needed at the end, yes she needed point out his mistake, but to expect him not to get caught off guard by a more experienced opponent was going to far. Anyway it was an excellent chapter, I'm very happy with how Naruto progressing.
You mentionED in a previous chapter that Naruto was unlikely to wield a weapon because most weapons won't suit Naruto since he's a speed taijutsu fighter, so my question is would a set of claws fit the style of fighting you have set for Naruto.
11/2/2012 c7 2Manah Scarlet Shadowsong
I saw the name Mizore and the lolipop and I just smiled, I like that girl. That is all to this chapter
10/4/2012 c14 Guest
Naruto has some interesting summons, especially Iyana.
8/14/2012 c12 serialkeller
Thank the gods he learned the kage bunshin. Please tell me he uses the learning method of using the bunshins to read things and practice seals, because for one he needs to get smarter faster and if he has clones do it, he won't mind, and two, he should be a seal master and have a serious affinity for seals being an uzumaki as well as the son of minato who was a genius at seals. Hope that only he learns the hiraishin and he better, that was where canon fucked up. All three or four on the team can learn the rasengan, but hope he is the only one able to complete it because of his chakra reserves. Kind of hoping he trains up his elemental affinity to master level before the chunin exams and gets a weapon to use with it using the kage bunshin learning method, which would allow him to it in a failry short period of time considering he could learn years worth of stuff in weeks. Anyways, keep it up, like your writing style. Kind of hoping for a harem in this, but it sounds like it will turn into a Naru/Hina which is ok too, they are perfect for each other.
8/14/2012 c12 RedEye00
Good to see Sakura and Hinata helping Naruto to take down Mizuki. I'm looking forward to what you have planned for the story based on your notes.
26 Page 1 2 Next »

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service