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10/5/2013 c1 117team effort
this is magnificent and you are magnificent for writing it. one of the most original, amazing pjo fanfics i have ever had the pleasure of reading. simply delightful. :)
7/12/2013 c1 Guest
Omg! There is like a tear running down my face right now. This was beautiful.

There is just one small little thing.

I dont get why you made it seem like Reyna was no good at magic and Hylla was this perfect beautiful woman and Reyna was just faded in the backround. I always imagined Reyna as a mini protegé that was going to be trained for greatness (at Circe's island). So many people make Reyna that way and I dont get it. She is someone who will try the best at whatever she does so I just dont buy her being any worse at magic then Hylla.

Anyway. This was great. I have a feeling Rick is gonna kill Reyna off. I really want him to expand on Reyna's character. I wish he would have written in Reyna's Pov. Because in my mind Reyna isnt mad at Jason for being with Piper but for almost totally ignoring her when they got to camp Jupiter. She feels that after he abandoned (even if it wasnt by his own will) her for 8 months that she atleast merits a Hello sorry for leaving for 8 months. Thank you for running thr camp while I was gone. I missed. But again this is in my mind.

I also like how you made her tell Piper off. There is a war going on and Piper seemed to only be able to think about Jason. I really didnt like Piper at all because she is a spoiled brat. In the Lost Hero she was all My dad is always ignoring me. Its not fair. So ill steal cars for attention. Her dad really cared for and she was too blind to see that he was trying to protect her from his life. Shes no better than a child who throws tantrums for attention. Just instead of screaming she talks people into giving her stuffeven though she knew it was wrong. And then in the Mark of Athena all she could talk about was Jason. And how she was worried about him leaving het and blah blah blah. It was soooooo annoying. I really dont like Jason either. Hes so boring. Like a robot. Actually I dont like a lot of characters. I dont like Annabeth because shes so cold and calculating.

In my mind Reyna would have only allowed herself a minute or so to sulk in self pity, then she would refocus on the war. I also feel like she would have voted against attacking Camp Half Blood because its unwise to waste time fighting them when they should be preparing for war against Gaea.

Also I hate the fics where Reyna attacks Piper or says shell fight for Jason and acts jealous. Piper is the one who would fight for Jason. She pretty much said it to Drew. Too me Reyna has enough self respect to feel that if he cant pick between them and it isnt an instant choice thenits not worth it because he has doubts.

This is mostly in my mind so its not all true. Loved this story.
7/11/2013 c1 Guest
I'm crying now - you are such a good writer. please keep writing.
7/1/2013 c1 SorryNotInUseAnymore
I don't get why Rick Riordan made the Romans hate the Greeks. Why? I've researched it and I haven't found anything indicating that the Romans hate the Greeks. If the Greeks hated the Romans, I guess I could kinda understand.

You said:

"We can't trust them," Octavian sneers, anger wiping out his dignity. "Do you know what the Greeks did to our ancestors? They captured the city of Troy on false pretenses of friendship, and cut down weaponless men, killed innocent children, raped harmless women. And now - and now, they don't even bother to be subtle about it, they're here practically demanding our help, like they're not going to take no as an answer. Do we want a second Troy? Do we want to ally with the people who killed our forefathers in cold blood?"

Isn't the city of Troy part of Greece, though. Could you explain what you meant by this because it confuses me even more on the Romans hating the Greeks thing?

Rick Riordan is an amazing author and all, but he ably follows any of the myths. Sometimes it seems as if he trying to completely change Greek and Roman mythology and I love the original versions so that angers me a little. It also makes everything so goddamned confusing.

He also needs to work on his characters. I don't really like most of them, but why am I telling you this. You probably don't even agree with me. Most people don't.

Although, I like how you made the characters appear. You showed all off them in a different light, which is nice for a change because everyone seem to make out Percy and Annabeth as these amazingly perfect characters, Jason and Piper as these really bitchy characters or these totally amazing characters, Leo as this stupid oaf or immensely depressed kid, Nico is a emo little kid or a really hot, muscular dude, Luke is a plain out asshole, Apollo is a retarded god who can't write poetry or sing, Poseidon is the perfect dad role model, Hera is a complete bitch no one likes, Frank is a jealous over-grown panda, and Thalia is either a really girly girl, even though she dresses like a punk and probably absolutely despises girly girls or this annoying Hunter chick with a really bad temper who only, apparently, wears Death to Barbie shirts.

Oh my god, just ignore all that up there.

I also liked the plot. I think I have read another story about Reyna's life, though, it has nothing on yours. You made this story completely unique and different in every way possible. I really enjoyed reading it.

I know I've already asked this, but just in case you have forgotten because of all that other stupid, pointless stuff I put, could you please explain why the Romans hate the Greeks so much?

Wow, this is one long review, huh?

6/13/2013 c1 Guest
Hi! I recently read a Jason/Reyna fanfic that had some lines that were similar to those you've written here. Your fic really stuck to me, and in my opinion, it's the best Jason/Reyna fic ever written, so I noticed the similarities of some lines in both your fics. The other fic had a different plot and everything, but there were two lines there that were exactly the same as you wrote them here and a situation that was sort of the same. I don't know if there are more, but those three were the ones I immediately thought I had read somewhere else. I don't want to jump to conclusions and judge the other person, I just wanted you to know in case you weren't aware that something like that was happening. Anyway, here's a link to the other story! s/9385782/1/thin-little-crimes

Again, your fic is still number one for me! I haven't read a better Reyna background fic! Everything is absolutely well thought of and so beautifully worded! You have an incredible talent! :)
6/2/2013 c1 9icewindsleetandsnow
At first, I didn't expect much from the no-capitalization title (Grammar Nazi here, please don't be offended) but the story - oh gods, the story - it's he most beautiful Jeyna story ever, I'm serious. I'm going to go cry now.
4/28/2013 c1 goldspears
this was so beautiful, so gorgeous, so amazing.

most of the time, it was depressing, yes. but i loved it nevertheless, i love this fanfiction, i adore your writing skill and i hope in the future i can be half as good as you, because your words, the way you portrayed the characters, was so divine to read. it took my breath away and you have so much talent. you should not be on fanfiction, you should be writing your own stories. i hope you the best if you ever decide to.

thank you for this, thank you for sharing this masterpiece with us. thank you.
4/16/2013 c1 48bye123456789
/mouth drops open
/rubs eyes
That was absolutely breathtakingly beautifully amazingly perfect.
Honestly, I love your characterisation of everyone - Reyna, Jason, Piper, Hylla... Even people with just a little screen time, like Zoe, are perfect. You have all this perfect foreshadowing and it's just amazing.
Also, you've got perfect parts plot and style, something that I find very difficult.
/rubs eyes again
Seriously, amazing.
4/11/2013 c1 35cloudwisp
Woah... Just woah. This is so well written! It's incredible and is actually a beautiful piece of writing. Your writing is just amazing.
4/10/2013 c1 23CrazyAce'n'PokerFace
so, so beautiful, haunting and tragic and utterly gut-wrenching, this. thank you for writing.

my favorite line: (A solemn youth looks through golden lashes at the girl with the piercing black eyes, and smiles a grin that is just for her.

It'll be okay, he tells her, running a finger through her curls. I promise.) - because he didn't keep that promise. but oh, how he tried.
3/25/2013 c1 1it would be reyna
ohmygod this is amazing. everything is spot-on. the characterization, the choice of words... great job!
3/22/2013 c1 1lannistercub
Awesome story!
2/9/2013 c1 Ellie
I couldn't stop crying. It's perfect.
All my thoughts of this fanfic summed up to two sentences; that's how good it was.
omg why you make reyna pull an eponine /creyz.
1/26/2013 c1 5angels entwined
I should have reviewed this ages ago.

But this is beautiful and flawless and perfect and it's not fair, I want to steal your writing skills.

And Reyna is one of my favorite characters.

I just stare at this every time I want to write a fic and -

I'll stop fangirling now because I have nothing else to say.

- Twilly
1/17/2013 c1 20oh. i'm on fire
Right. So, basically everywhere I turn nowadays I'm finding this story.
Everywhere, I believe, is an understatement.


I like this a lot.

Your characterization of Reyna is so unique to the fandom and yet so, so applicable to canon. It's almost perfect, every last bit. I found her fascination— I'll call it a fascination; I can't think of anything else— with being queen an artful addition to the story. Reyna, I believe, means queen, right? So I thought that that was a really, really well-placed feeling. Or whatever you call it. Ambition?

Your writing style is pretty good, too. It is, I think, just a little /too/comma-happy. Many of your sentences felt pretty run-on and strung out. Aside from that, I liked the figurative language and the descriptive style. It all seemed to flow very smoothly, didn't it?

The sections were so, /so/ meaningful when you put them on her character. Amazing choices there.

All-in-all, this was just great.

There were a lot of error with your paranthetical elements, but since I'm not entirely sure you know that they exist I won't go over them; I'd end up giving a grammar lesson instead of a review.

Also, some thing with your dashes. When you're seperating a parenthetical element with your dashes, it's correct so far as I know - it goes something like this, no?

But when Reyna's thoughts were -
interrupted, I think you it should look more like—
that. I'm suggesting a sudden, immediate stop as opposed to a gradual one.

Of course, most of these grammar things are pet peeves of mine, so you don't /really/ need to pay them much heed.
And God knows I have trouble with them in my own stories anyway.

Oh, and you misspelled Argentum, about where she got to Camp Jupiter.

Again, an amazing story with minimal SPaG damage...very, very nice.
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