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for Magnolias and Mardi Gras

1/10/2018 c1 2rogueycherie
Gostaria de ter lido a continuação!
2/8/2015 c1 1BluemoonAR
This is really good, can't stop laughing at Anna Marie slapping Remi Lebou. Please post again soon!
11/29/2013 c1 1bloodydarkangel
Um please update soon it has been over a year have you given up on fan fiction please say no
9/23/2012 c1 16Sokka's Fan-Lawyer
Interesting! I don't normally read X-Men fanfictions, but I like the setting-it does almost have a sort of noirish feeling to it, and New Orleans has the wonderful potential for both urban drama and borderline mystical events...how long until we get there, exactly? Anyway, I find the narration style fun-it's not quite formal but it's still got that fairy tale-kind of feel to it...it's hard to describe.

Anyway, just some general things I noticed: most people just put thoughts in italics, if only to make them stand out, but also to avoid confusion with dialogue and apostrophes; but if that's your style and how you want to go about it, that's fine. Dashes are two hyphens put together-it's a bit annoying, but it helps avoid making the readers think that two words are connected when they're not (I don't think the problem occurred here, given that you made the dashes lead to separate paragraphes-a clever split, by the way; it really added to the humor), but still.

Though I was a bit confused about this line: "I think you're both acting like children." Kitty, a little late for decorum, dear. ; Was it the narrator who added the last part? Also, don't underestimate the short sentence, like for this passage:"This was her family, they were not just her friends but her brothers and sister, their guardians Logan and Ororo, even now sitting out in the humid sunshine, were the closest thing to parents she had had in a long time, not to mention excellent teachers." This could really be split up, just for clarity: "This was her family; they were not just her friends but her brothers and sister. Their guardians Logan and Ororo, even now sitting out in the humid sunshine back in *insert nice but perhaps stormy scene here*, were the closest thing to parents she had had in a long time, not to mention excellent teachers." How recently did her aunt die again? I just want to make sure. Also, it seems surprising that Anna-Marie would blush at Remy's mock gentleman behavior-it just doesn't seem consistent to me with her previous description, but again, that's just me; perhaps she isn't used to anyone touching her hands?

Finally, there are two in general theories of writing to keep in mind (I'm sorry if this is seeming like a long list; I actually only just found out about one of them and had my attention drawn to the other by my college professors last semester):

-the idea of parallel construction, which is where if you have a series of verbs in a sentence, you try to keep them all the same tense, like in the opening line of the chapter: "The carriage rolled along, hitting every bump, knocking around its four passengers."; with parallel construction, it'd go like: "The carriage rolled along and hit every bump, which knocked its four passengers around."...yeah, it doesn't quite flow well, but if we were to isolate it to a specific instance, versus covering the carriage's overall crappy driving, like: "Anna-Marie winced as the carriage hit another bump and her side slammed into door for what had to be the two hundredth time."...granted, that's a different, more character-focused narration style, so it's up to you how you utilize this stuff. It does help things flow better, especially during action scenes-something to keep in mind for later chapters.

Finally, while on the subject of verb consistency, it is typically a good idea for the narrator to use the same tense for his/her descriptions; some prefer describing things in past and others prefer present. Again, it's not a big deal, but it is something to keep in mind for future chapters. Pretty much the only time this even came up was when the reader found out that Kitty was Jewish: "Kurt, being a very religious catholic, thought the cermony should be done in a cathedrial, but as Kitty comes from a Jewish family and Piotr himself is not a religious man-"; when we got the tidbits on Kitty and Piotr, it probably should've been past tense in line with everything else, like "Kurt, being a very religious catholic, thought the cermony should be done in a cathedrial, but as Kitty came from a Jewish family and Piotr himself was not a religious man-"

Wow...it seems that I've said more than I thought I would. Please don't be annoyed by this-these are only ideas/constructive criticism. Anyway, I can't wait to see where this is going and it's certainly quite good, especially for your first X-Men fic-Remy sounds just like himself. What kind of enemies could they encounter...Apocalypse?! Just kidding... Anyway, keep it up!

Update soon or I'll...SUE YA! (yeah, I have a reviewer catchphrase...don't judge me)
5/24/2012 c1 2Fostersb
Great start, O can't wait to see the relationship between Gambit and Rogue evolve and also the secret identities that they have at night. I would to have Gembit's point of view and know what Gambit thought of Rogue he first time he saw her. Update soon.
5/10/2012 c1 8mrpenguinwrites
I'm really enjoying this so far. Can't wait for the next chapter!

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