FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for My Dear Amiko

5/17/2012 c2 sansreality
Another nice chapter. Your development of the story is very progressive and nicely-paced. It isn't too slow that it is boring but it isn't too fast that I don't understand anything that is happening. It is enough to catch one's attention while being steady and realistic in development. Also, Amiko seems like an interesting character and I can't wait to see more of her - especially since her personality is rather normal and kind.

The length of the paragraphs were slightly glaring on the eyes... I don't know. Maybe have more variety in paragraph length? When you have five paragraphs in one chapter with the exact same length (especially on a computer screen), the reading becomes rather confusing and it's difficult to focus on the story and writing.

I do like where you're taking this story and the characters. I can't wait to read more!

Thanks for the nice read!
5/7/2012 c1 3sansreality
Interesting start to this story. I find it rather interesting. I'm curious to see how you'll develop Amiko as a character and how she'll interact with the canon characters.

There's just one suggestion that I'd like to make... maybe separate the dialogue from the descriptions? It just makes everything easier to read (especially online where a large paragraph of text is just glaring on the eyes). And it also helps me organize the story more in my mind. But that's just a suggestion - you may or may not take it as you wish.

Thanks for the great read! Interested in seeing more. :)

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service