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for Just Another Soldier

10/1/2012 c2 4MCR Killjoys
please update as soon as you can this story is awesome so far

Becky xxx
7/23/2012 c2 4WhatHappenedToMoonlight
OMG i love it. :D you forgot to mention i helped! Can't wait for the next one
5/8/2012 c1 WhatHappenedToMoonlight
*glares* like i said its good NOW write till you die *muhahahaha* ~love bvfitw
5/7/2012 c1 1DragonDaemon93
Okay, good bits and bad bits. Unfortunately, more good than bad.

It’s interesting, however I think that people will be put off by:

1. The lack of speech marks, indicating someone is speaking, and the line spaces between each different person speaking

2. It seems to be all in one chunk of writing. Try spacing it out a little more.

3. Lack of commas. Try them. There are a few sentences in there that will probably have you dying from lack of oxygen if you tried reading them out loud. Try the seventh paragraph; you won’t make it till the end.

4. Lastly, there’s no clear indication of when one person speaks or another starts because they are all together. And it’s a little confusing if you’re trying “mind speech” with the same as normal lettering, especially without the speech marks. Try italics.
5/6/2012 c1 2JackSkellington'sBride
Reviewers get cookies. I am apart of the dark side specially since last Friday was national Star Wars Day!

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