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12/25/2012 c16 Guest
Good to see this story is alive.
12/26/2012 c16 5Tikigod784
Oh god... If only Toph and Wrex could have met... once. It would have been amazing.
12/26/2012 c16 1Tankred
Oh man, you scared the crap out of me. I was sure that this would be one of those stories where Wrex dies.
12/25/2012 c16 Mularac
All I have to say about this chapter, is that the fight between Shephard and Wrex was downright EPIC.
Great story, as always, looking forward to read more.
12/25/2012 c16 3AlleluiaElizabeth
Ok, first off, poor Legion. He really needs to just send Shep an email explaining everything while maintaining a safe distance, like in another solar system. Would result in way fewer holes in his torso. And he needs way fewer holes in his torso. (It always makes me laugh when his runtimes panic and he goes in to opossum mode, though. XD) Oh, well. Eventually it'll work out, Legion. I think.

I laughed out loud when Shepard forgot Jack. Here I was, worried about how Jack would react to Shepard giving in to Garrus' request about Saleon while putting her own on the backburner, and turns out that's not even gonna be an issue b/c she got left behind. lol The fact that she headed off to Eigana on her own doesn't surprise me, though it makes me worry for her.

Leviathan is an ally of the reapers in this story? Interesting. Biotics being a "fifth element" of sorts is interesting as well. I look forward to seeing you explore that more. Also, want to know what this bit is in the codex entry about humans "extruding encapsulated eezo" and what "Host Versus Eezo" is.

Speaking of things versing each other, the Wrex v. Avatar Shepard fight? Wow. First off, my favorite bending style is earth, so that whole fight was a real treat for me. And it was long and involved and just absolutely awesome. And that was before Shepard had her breakthrough and started glowing it up. Then things got really good b/c Wrex wouldn't back down. Loved how Shepard and the other avatars are just kinda bemused by that fact. lol

It was funny to me that Garrus is the one who looked the most in awe at the end and that Shepard could tell. She really *is* getting good at reading Turian facial expressions. Also found it cute that Liara played the Katara to Shepard's Aang here. I don't mean that in some romantic sense, just pointing out that I liked the parallel. Liara really does seem to come from a similar mold as Katara so it totally worked.

Adeks is awesome. Just gotta say. I like him more and more every time he's featured. Liked his conversation with Garrus, liked his conversation with Wrex. Wrex needs to get that he doesn't have t go it alone, that the Krogan won't be helped by that mentality as a whole either. He gets that in the games, interesting to see it developing here, too.

I am kinda surprised Shepard hasn't reamed Asha for setting Wrex off, yet. I like Ash and all, but its not like Shepard had given her any kind of order involving trying to shoot Wrex. He was on a hair trigger and soemthing else could theoretically have set him off if Ash hadn't. Shepard certainly wasn't doing very well at reasoning with him. But still, I'd think she'd be a bit mad or something.

So, Virmire started off with a bang. And its only going to get more interesting from here, I am sure. Looking forward to what you have in store, particularly regarding the Virmire Decision, if there is even going to be a decision to be made.

As for critique, there are points throughout this story, though they are few and far between, where you skip a word in a sentence or repeat part of a sentence twice. Example: "and a block of the crumpled toward surged toward the older krogan." Its relatively rare, like I said, but when it does happen, its distracting. I can't blame you for missing them as each chapter is HUGE, but I still wanted to point it out.

Looking forward to the next chapter. :)
12/25/2012 c16 1Azrael Duke
...Um. Holy Crap.

That was quite possibly the greatest reinterpretation of the Wrex dilemma from ME1 since...ever. Just...Holy crap.

Wrex managed to put Avatar Shepard in a tight spot, when she was in the Avatar State. Holy crap. She unlocked the Avatar state, also Holy Crap. The Reapers are now completely aware of the Avatar - Holy. Crap.

I don't even know what else to say. This was awesome. A good final Christmas present of a chapter. Kudos, and I look forward to the conclusion of this part of your story.
12/24/2012 c15 delta7
I continue to read and like your story. Right now I want to rave about your current codex entry. I like it because it shows that just like Avatar!Earth is not our Earth, Big Demon is not correspondingly Mars. I also like the bit of mystery in the entry. Who ejected the Moon into Big Demon (Sorry Mainstream, but I have to go with Liara) and why was it done? Who built the site on Big Demon? The only person who could possibly know what happened would be Yue. I guess Shepard will have to meet her to answer those questions.
12/19/2012 c15 5Tikigod784
Your skill in detailing the inner minds of established characters continues. I'm surprised how much... feeling you've been able to write into your Shepard. I am thoroughly impressed. I am also impressed by your ability to keep fight scenes interesting and NEW whenever you write them.

I am eagerly anticipating the next chapter. I want to see how or even if this Shepard can recover and eventually grow into an Avatar that fits this universe. I can only hope you'll give her some conversations with Korra at some point. They're very alike in some ways and I think it would serve to make them bicker in a hilarious manner.
12/16/2012 c15 N3phtys
lol... picking between both romance options in ME1 was always very difficult to do. I thought you would have to choose between Kaidan and Liara and we readers would have to deal with it... I was wrong.

Also: Liara already had her suspicions her "soulsearching" in Shepard's mind was actively changing her and Shepard. Maybe so far the only point I find heavily out of character that both are not bothered at all that they could be psychological and supernatural manipulated.
Could also be love/lust... yeah, let's go with that :D
12/9/2012 c15 Dan
Big Demon. What the what?
World-building! Backstory! Continuity! This is awesome!
I like your portrayal of Shepard as a jerkface you can care about.
Your Legion and Liara are also amazing, and I love how you handled the side-missions!

Great story, keep it up!
12/8/2012 c15 Guest
Liara's got it BAD for Shepherd.
12/9/2012 c15 Everettspartisan
Very interesting - and the Big Demon thing is rather concerning - wonder what could be behind that.

Story continues strong - looking forward to more.
12/9/2012 c15 1Tankred
For some reason, I'm really happy that Liara is starting to get through to Shepard.
12/4/2012 c14 delta7
Excellent. It's always good to see more of the geth and this chapter answered some questions, but made me ask new ones. Who were those quarians and what is happening on Rannoch? Saren apparently can earthbend and firebend, but I'm guessing that's due to the Reapers. The Reapers control him so maybe they're the ones bending. I'm exited for the Virmire chapter, it will probably explain more about the Reapers.
12/3/2012 c14 N3phtys
Found this picture:

. /tumblr_m9fw3kWXcQ1rbfjq7o1_

Now I will never be able to get away from the idea of Commander Azula Shepard in this fic...

Also: nice chapter... felt different somehow.

But I'm guessing Virmire is going to be the next destination chapter 16 or so... I'm allready seeing a highlight chapter coming there :D
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