Just In
for Romeo and Juliet

5/1/2017 c1 Shella335
pls continue
8/23/2013 c1 5xxxloveydoveyxxx
Ohhh sounds intresting, UPDATE!
8/16/2012 c1 Lovedove123
7/5/2012 c1 Guest
I think this is a good idea for a story...however, I can't seem to like it.

Maybe it's the way you're writing your story, or just the way fanfiction uploaded your document, but your entire story is shifted to the left of the webpage. This makes me assume that you're writing only on one half of the page, which you shouldn't do at all. It's distracting to read when half a sentence is suddenly cut off, and continued on another line. So advice: when you're typing, type using the ENTIRE page, and not just a column of it.

Another thing, work on returns. When people talk, a line is usually used for the dialogue. For example:

""Ohayou minna-san!" Mikan exclaimed loudly as she happily skipped into the classroom. Mikan then got out of her happily self and returned back to normal.

"Hotaruu!" she screamed and tried to hug her with her long arms.


Hotaru had just shot her with her newly improved Baka Gun. Mikan flew back onto the wall.

"Daijoubu?" questioned Yuu as he tried to help Mikan stand up from the impact of the Baka Gun.""

It may seem like a lot of returns, but it's easier to read sometimes rather than just one large paragraph.

This story has potential...but I think you either need to find a really good beta or improve your skills as a writer. No offense, but this is an eyesore to read right now in its current condition.

But please! Continue to work on your skills and grammar because you can only go up from here. And I'll look forward to reading and helping you with more stories you have planned for the future. :)
6/4/2012 c1 1none.ending
I'm slightly confused with the format of the story. The story also seems too rushed. I suggest that when you differentiate narrations from thoughts you should either use bold or italize it. Anyway, the story was good but I'm sure you can do better.
5/25/2012 c1 31Kiteria Faye
First off, sorry if i bugged you with my pm's. Secondly, this seems interesting though i never finished the anime because there was no romance i like it.
5/18/2012 c1 Gosi-chan 08
Hello! I just wanted to know, why did you make it a rated M? And can you please make it a li’l longer? but anyway please make Natsume SO JELOUSE whenever there are rehersal of the play. oh! and make him court Mikan and also make her jelouse by flirting. (hehehe I’m evil :D ) PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service