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for Danny Phantom A tick in time

5/24/2012 c1 63Oak Leaf Ninja
Heya! Welcome to ff! A few pointers:

1.Danny would NEVER reveal his secret right on the spot to some random chick.

2.Smaller paragraphs. They help.

3.I sense a Mary Sue...

But minus a few other things, GREAT JOB FOR YOUR FIRST STORY! It takes a lot of guts to post things on FF! Hope to see more from ya soon!
5/24/2012 c1 1c3llar door
Meh, Danny would never go up to some random girl and go. "Oh BTW, I'm Danny Phantom"

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