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for A Dream Come True

2/27/2015 c8 9Digi-fanCatt
Well, I look forward to reading the revised story.
6/28/2013 c7 Digi-fanCatt
I have no idea where this is heading, but it's supper funny! :D You should update. :)
5/23/2013 c7 C00k13m0nst3r
When are you going to add another chapter?
12/2/2012 c7 Immahobodeal
Wow dis da worst stry I've eva read! You're a terrible writer ur grammar and spelling bad and you stry is just out right HORRIBLE!
8/9/2012 c6 PenguinLoverGurl
I saw your review for 'Juliet Never Wore Converses'. Thank you so much for your support.

God Bless You, Alapest
7/25/2012 c6 8iAmThePaintedLady
. . I'm so jealous of your creativity. Yeah, I'm going to go cry in a hole now. Please keep writing! thanks:)
7/22/2012 c6 14Nerdz-Will-Rule-The-World
I Love This Story _ I really think that maybe you should try to explain things a little bit more and flush out the characters, like give Avi a little more back story. You should have her have a dream of her old life, before the change into the Avatar world, and I wouldn't have her cry to much since so far the character has been very head strong.
I want to also say that Avi is a very interesting character but I would make her seem a little more... more... I don't really know. I like the idea of her, and the whole plot to this story but I just feel as if you are making her into a little bit of a Mary Sue (A character who is a copy of the author who is 'perfect'). I like this story loads and I hope there are more chapters. :)
I don't mean to sound mean or have this as a flame or anything, I was just trying to help...
Your friend, The Nerd
7/16/2012 c6 6Spry
OH MY GALOSHES! A mention! :D That means I'm practically famous. :P

Wow, campfire songs- I always sit way in the back at those things in case somebody tries to get me to sing. :)

She should have started singing the Campfire Song Song! :D

D'aww, some romance tossed into the salad that is this story- or, mixed into the frosting. Yes, that works better.

Good job! Poor Avi, having to deal with twig-in-mouth Jet. I smacked him senseless once, did I tell you that? Probably not. :D

The point is, it was a good chapter. And this review is lacking in constructive criticism. Sorry. :p

YAY! A COOKIE!

Spry!
7/16/2012 c1 19Led Feynman M.D. D.D.S. Ph.D
Oh wow...
7/15/2012 c5 6Spry
EEE! A whacked out self-insert! YES! :D

A first fanfiction, you say? SWEET! Let me be the first- or, well, maybe not the first. Maybe the twelvety-twoth- which, most certainly, IS a number, and don't let the dictionary tell you any different!

ANYWAYS, where was I? Oh, yes, that's right- Haldo! :D This is an AWESOME fanfiction, and you're right, I don't think this exact idea has been done before- that is, if you're going for what I think you are- and maybe you're not. Spry has a tendency to be wrong about this kind of thing. Am I getting aywhere with this review? No, you're right, I'm insane.

And-and I'm trying really hard to find something to be constructively critical about, and I'm failing miserably. Help me out, here, brain!

Ah, well. What the fruitcake. HAVE A COOKIE while I continue to get nowhere with this review. :D

Your spelling is excellent. Your punctuation is mostly awesome. Your writing style? FLEEPING AMAZING! :D

So have another cookie, and then I'll leave you alone. Honest. :P

Goobers? Froogles? OH MY GALOSHES, IT'S ANOTHER FYRE FAN! :D High five!

Spry!
6/4/2012 c2 gfesgrthsy
Alright! Great chapter. You used great adjectives and descriptions in this! Althoughhhhh...

So, I think it was a typo in the beginning. I mean, when you said "The village I have lived in is quite quaint

(I'm still not over the fact that I'm in the Avatar World though), there is the-" Yeah, I think you put a typo when you said That, because you probably accidently pressed enter when you typed the word 'quaint.' There was an entire space between them if you look.

On the flashback, I think you did the same thing. "I asked, ready to get of of the dress

Taya Had decided to doll me up in."

And, on the part where you said she put extra emphasis on breathe, you could put breathe in italics. Oh, and you spelled breathe wrong. Just saying.

I think for this chapter, it was mainly just typos and such. If you don't check your chapters twice, do so. If you do, check again. But really, I liked this overall and you did a good job.
6/2/2012 c1 8SweetShireen
I don't know nothin about this...but I can tell your writing style is good.

It's descriptive and amusing.

But you shouldn't EVER say your story will get "better". That implies that its bad, and its not.

If you write that people will believe it too.

(so take that out of your summary!)
6/1/2012 c1 gfesgrthsy
I like it, really, and you used many visuals as well, which is good, don't get me wrong,but...

Really, I would advise to maybe work on it just a bit more. I mean, when you described how her old outfit looked and then how her new outfit was, you probably should've used more commas and periods, because the whole sentence takes up half the paragraph. And, it seems just a bit rushed.

When Avi walked into the kitchen, she could've at least asked her mother what was going on or something.

But really, other than, it's good. And it's your first fanfic, so it's good for you to get things wrong. So that's basically it. I like it, though. Update soon!
5/24/2012 c1 Angelica32G
Haha, I love your Dr. Sues eggs :D

And whatever! Your a super good writer. Keep writing!

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