for 1,000 Years Can't Take Away Our Bond10/2/2012 c1 
4I Love The Stuff I Comment On
okay firs of all WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! and secondly it was hard to figure out who was saying what at first so you should try and make it easier for the reader to read and i know this will make the review long but here is how i would have wrote the story:
"You are able to come into the room again." Kana Taisho said.
"Are you okay?" Kun-Loon asked with worry in her voice.
"Yes I'm fine."
Uwaa! She's adorable! What are you planning to name her?" Kun-Loon eagerly asked.
"Kagome."
"That's a perfectly beautiful name.'
"Mama?" Sesshomaru peeked his head in.
"Sesshomaru, do you want to see?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Here. Look."
"Wow."
"Now Sesshomaru, I have a task for you. Do you think you can do it?""
"What is it?"
"I want you to promise me that no matter what you will always stay with Kagome, understand?"
"Yes, mama. I promise."
Sesshomaru then looked over at Kagome.
"Kagome, I promise to protect you forever and ever!"
His mother smiled.
"Thank you Sesshomaru-kun."
END OF MY EDITING
okay so just look it over and if you don't like it I would not car anyway, I was just trying to help so the readers could read the story better and LOVE IT EVEN MORE! but I respect all people that are willing to put stuff up on this website and it's your opinion so I won't care if you don't like the way I write so to close up PLEASE TELL US WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! I WANT TO KNOW!
Bye and P.S READ MY NAME IF YOUR NOT CONFIDENT!
4I Love The Stuff I Comment Onokay firs of all WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! and secondly it was hard to figure out who was saying what at first so you should try and make it easier for the reader to read and i know this will make the review long but here is how i would have wrote the story:
"You are able to come into the room again." Kana Taisho said.
"Are you okay?" Kun-Loon asked with worry in her voice.
"Yes I'm fine."
Uwaa! She's adorable! What are you planning to name her?" Kun-Loon eagerly asked.
"Kagome."
"That's a perfectly beautiful name.'
"Mama?" Sesshomaru peeked his head in.
"Sesshomaru, do you want to see?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Here. Look."
"Wow."
"Now Sesshomaru, I have a task for you. Do you think you can do it?""
"What is it?"
"I want you to promise me that no matter what you will always stay with Kagome, understand?"
"Yes, mama. I promise."
Sesshomaru then looked over at Kagome.
"Kagome, I promise to protect you forever and ever!"
His mother smiled.
"Thank you Sesshomaru-kun."
END OF MY EDITING
okay so just look it over and if you don't like it I would not car anyway, I was just trying to help so the readers could read the story better and LOVE IT EVEN MORE! but I respect all people that are willing to put stuff up on this website and it's your opinion so I won't care if you don't like the way I write so to close up PLEASE TELL US WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! I WANT TO KNOW!
Bye and P.S READ MY NAME IF YOUR NOT CONFIDENT!
6/8/2012 c1 nipi
This is ok so far. You should think about redoing this chapter, but give it a little more background in rhe story Such as give a little more detail on little Sesshomaru and him mom seeing Kagome for the first time. Also Kagome's family as well and how they knew Sesshomaru's. Give your story a little more depth. Other wise this story and the plot has a lot of potential. I eagerly await the next chapter.
This is ok so far. You should think about redoing this chapter, but give it a little more background in rhe story Such as give a little more detail on little Sesshomaru and him mom seeing Kagome for the first time. Also Kagome's family as well and how they knew Sesshomaru's. Give your story a little more depth. Other wise this story and the plot has a lot of potential. I eagerly await the next chapter.