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for The Sorcerer's Journey

3/7/2015 c5 Blaine H
Very good, please continue. [ ill means sick, I'll means I will].
11/27/2014 c5 1chase8999
Mr. Postoffice when will you be posting the next chapter of this please make it soon
10/12/2012 c2 sargeja
Seems a lot like a D&D game, a lot.
7/19/2012 c1 Guest
i like want more
6/12/2012 c1 Hitman Nx
I'll admit that I only made it about half way through the story before I stopped reading. I can see promise in the story, but you have to work on a few things first.

1). Grammer. It's the most obvious one. Always capitalize I, and don't forget to add apostrophes for compound words ( I'll ). Also, read your sentences out loud. That's the fastest way to catch a grammar error.

2). Pacing. While you are checking your sentences, make sure that they flow properly. Try to avoid extending details out to far in a run on sentence. Instead, stop the sentence and start a new one to finish your description. The best example of this would be your description of Harold. That sentence was too long, and could have easily been split up.

Otherwise, what I read was good, and I hope you take my advice. Good luck on this story, and keep working at it.

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