for Obsession and Redemption2/17/2013 c23 
8Greyleaf
First, I have to say this was a blast from beginning to end. The plot was clever and kept me wondering. Having both Reese and Finch somewhat out of their comfort zones (so to speak) was fun to read and I’ll bet you had fun writing it. Loved it every time Fusco showed up. Cordelia was quite a handful; I don’t know that *I* would have had patience with her, but she stirred things up. Pairing Taylor and Reese was a great choice. There were several scenes that stood out particularly over the last 7 or so chapters: Millie is a great character – his interaction with Cordelia was sweet and warm. John being playful with Taylor was described wonderfully; you drew that picture very clearly. And the part where he laughed was nice. I don’t think we’ve every seen him do anything but chuckle on the show. Cordelia’s dealing with the pawnbroker was well paced and the dialogue was excellent. Cordelia drunk was fun – I laughed when Finch turned the phone right-side up for her. And the sex scenes were *hot*. I don’t know that I will ever be able to go into that much detail in my writing, but I like how you did them. All-in-all, a great read.
8GreyleafFirst, I have to say this was a blast from beginning to end. The plot was clever and kept me wondering. Having both Reese and Finch somewhat out of their comfort zones (so to speak) was fun to read and I’ll bet you had fun writing it. Loved it every time Fusco showed up. Cordelia was quite a handful; I don’t know that *I* would have had patience with her, but she stirred things up. Pairing Taylor and Reese was a great choice. There were several scenes that stood out particularly over the last 7 or so chapters: Millie is a great character – his interaction with Cordelia was sweet and warm. John being playful with Taylor was described wonderfully; you drew that picture very clearly. And the part where he laughed was nice. I don’t think we’ve every seen him do anything but chuckle on the show. Cordelia’s dealing with the pawnbroker was well paced and the dialogue was excellent. Cordelia drunk was fun – I laughed when Finch turned the phone right-side up for her. And the sex scenes were *hot*. I don’t know that I will ever be able to go into that much detail in my writing, but I like how you did them. All-in-all, a great read.
2/10/2013 c16 Greyleaf
15 & 16. Man, these guys will never be the same. The women, either, I think. Truly hot, both scenes. Good contrast in their techniques. Finch’s ‘methods’ are interesting. I have to say, however, out of all of this the line that struck me was “Finch had forgotten how uplifting such an extraordinary interfacing could be.” ‘Interfacing’, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? (old line/joke). Enjoyed both chapters. (BTW, I’ve been getting the alerts for your new original work on FictionPress. So, *that’s* what you’ve been up to. Looking forward to reading it.)
15 & 16. Man, these guys will never be the same. The women, either, I think. Truly hot, both scenes. Good contrast in their techniques. Finch’s ‘methods’ are interesting. I have to say, however, out of all of this the line that struck me was “Finch had forgotten how uplifting such an extraordinary interfacing could be.” ‘Interfacing’, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? (old line/joke). Enjoyed both chapters. (BTW, I’ve been getting the alerts for your new original work on FictionPress. So, *that’s* what you’ve been up to. Looking forward to reading it.)
2/9/2013 c14 Greyleaf
Read 13 and 14. Really, really liked the conversation between Reese and Bertineau. Very tense, very menacing. “You and I both know what I am capable of. Surely you've heard from your minions, Cain and Harper by now..oh..wait.." Reese corrected himself. "Our Ms. Harper hasn't made an appearance, has she.” Description of the Festival sounds, everything. Liked the motorcycle descriptions, too. Research or personal experience? And, we got more Fusco. Nicely done, giving him dancing skillz. Had to smile at him giving Reese advice on women. “Course, Reese hasn’t had any ‘normal’ relationships since 9/11. His perspective has been warped by his life as an assassin. Very cool chapters.
Read 13 and 14. Really, really liked the conversation between Reese and Bertineau. Very tense, very menacing. “You and I both know what I am capable of. Surely you've heard from your minions, Cain and Harper by now..oh..wait.." Reese corrected himself. "Our Ms. Harper hasn't made an appearance, has she.” Description of the Festival sounds, everything. Liked the motorcycle descriptions, too. Research or personal experience? And, we got more Fusco. Nicely done, giving him dancing skillz. Had to smile at him giving Reese advice on women. “Course, Reese hasn’t had any ‘normal’ relationships since 9/11. His perspective has been warped by his life as an assassin. Very cool chapters.
2/8/2013 c10 Greyleaf
Yeah! Fusco’s back. I like him, even in small doses. He’s such a contrast to Reese and Finch – physically to Reese and intellectually to Finch. He’s the guy you’d have a beer with, maybe at bar that has blues music. Interesting insights to our ‘boys’: Finch in Kmart’s Electronics Department and Reese’s problem with house plants. And I like the description of the neighbors. They sound like people my parents knew when I was a kid. This might have been a place for a little brevity, though. Maybe there’s a way to get that nice image through an actual conversation with one of them. Something to consider. Finch seems to have a thing for blue lace; I’m still expecting that to ‘show’ up.
Yeah! Fusco’s back. I like him, even in small doses. He’s such a contrast to Reese and Finch – physically to Reese and intellectually to Finch. He’s the guy you’d have a beer with, maybe at bar that has blues music. Interesting insights to our ‘boys’: Finch in Kmart’s Electronics Department and Reese’s problem with house plants. And I like the description of the neighbors. They sound like people my parents knew when I was a kid. This might have been a place for a little brevity, though. Maybe there’s a way to get that nice image through an actual conversation with one of them. Something to consider. Finch seems to have a thing for blue lace; I’m still expecting that to ‘show’ up.
2/6/2013 c9 Greyleaf
Okay. Well, first let’s talk about Finch and Cordelia. I’m still thinking that all the bickering is foreplay. His reaction to her accidental ‘flashing’ was funny - ‘natural blonde’. Nice observation for him. I’m hoping he gets to see her model the little blue lace number. So, Reese and Taylor. Wow. Again. Nicely graphic. Not *too* much detail; there doesn’t really need to be, after all. Also, not a lot of euphemisms. What little I’ve read of ‘romance’ novels (another euphemism) they go to great lengths to avoid calling a penis exactly that - I think the silliest I read was ‘scepter’. I also think that keeping to a single Point of View works better for me, at least for a scene like this. Less distracting. Now, do they dare sleep in the bed in that room? ‘Course, Reese probably *still* wouldn’t sleep, even after sex. Another good chapter.
Okay. Well, first let’s talk about Finch and Cordelia. I’m still thinking that all the bickering is foreplay. His reaction to her accidental ‘flashing’ was funny - ‘natural blonde’. Nice observation for him. I’m hoping he gets to see her model the little blue lace number. So, Reese and Taylor. Wow. Again. Nicely graphic. Not *too* much detail; there doesn’t really need to be, after all. Also, not a lot of euphemisms. What little I’ve read of ‘romance’ novels (another euphemism) they go to great lengths to avoid calling a penis exactly that - I think the silliest I read was ‘scepter’. I also think that keeping to a single Point of View works better for me, at least for a scene like this. Less distracting. Now, do they dare sleep in the bed in that room? ‘Course, Reese probably *still* wouldn’t sleep, even after sex. Another good chapter.
2/5/2013 c8 Greyleaf
Wow. Okay, first, I liked the description of the sunset and the room Reese and Taylor are in. “a partially over cast day with intermittent bouts of melancholy rays”. Good image. And the sex. Hot. Then to go to the conversation between Finch and Cordelia discussing Kafka! Though, perhaps this would be a type of foreplay for them. The whole thing was enjoyable. I have high hopes for the Finch/Cordelia relationship.
Wow. Okay, first, I liked the description of the sunset and the room Reese and Taylor are in. “a partially over cast day with intermittent bouts of melancholy rays”. Good image. And the sex. Hot. Then to go to the conversation between Finch and Cordelia discussing Kafka! Though, perhaps this would be a type of foreplay for them. The whole thing was enjoyable. I have high hopes for the Finch/Cordelia relationship.
2/4/2013 c7 Greyleaf
I *really*like the conversation between Finch and Cordelia and the way he warms up to her. Very sweet. Reese’s coaching from the ‘sidelines’ was funny. I’m thinking that, from the description of the cottage, that this is a place you know. Or would like to. Seems like a great place for a tryst. I get the feeling things are going to ‘warm’ up considerably. Looking forward to finding out.
I *really*like the conversation between Finch and Cordelia and the way he warms up to her. Very sweet. Reese’s coaching from the ‘sidelines’ was funny. I’m thinking that, from the description of the cottage, that this is a place you know. Or would like to. Seems like a great place for a tryst. I get the feeling things are going to ‘warm’ up considerably. Looking forward to finding out.
2/3/2013 c6 Greyleaf
I like how you keep the pace up. And the mystery surrounding the new players – Thomas, Amelia and Justin – is intriguing. I’m curious to see what they are up to and how this will all play out. Reese being hit on everywhere he goes is fun. I also like that you’ve found roles for both Fusco and Carter as well as referencing that past episode with Henry Peck. Very cool.
I like how you keep the pace up. And the mystery surrounding the new players – Thomas, Amelia and Justin – is intriguing. I’m curious to see what they are up to and how this will all play out. Reese being hit on everywhere he goes is fun. I also like that you’ve found roles for both Fusco and Carter as well as referencing that past episode with Henry Peck. Very cool.
2/2/2013 c5 Greyleaf
I’m still liking this. Cordelia’s reaction to Finch was well done. You could ‘see’ her awkwardness. Finch’s stiffness, both physical and verbal is good, too. I’m warming up to Taylor. I get the feeling she puts up a rather outrageous shallow front, but actually has some depth. The story moves along at a good clip; no slow spots. Hope to get some more chapters read tomorrow.
I’m still liking this. Cordelia’s reaction to Finch was well done. You could ‘see’ her awkwardness. Finch’s stiffness, both physical and verbal is good, too. I’m warming up to Taylor. I get the feeling she puts up a rather outrageous shallow front, but actually has some depth. The story moves along at a good clip; no slow spots. Hope to get some more chapters read tomorrow.
1/30/2013 c3 Greyleaf
Got 2 chapters read tonight. The story is still clicking along at a good pace.*Love* the Fusco dialogue. I think you really captured him. The Reese/Finch dialogue is good, too, especially the underwear part. Had a sudden mental picture of Finch in VS’s, asking the clerk for help. I would pay to see that. His first meeting with Grace was nice. Taylor was an interesting contrast to Cordelia. The somewhat chaotic ‘interview’ in the safe-house showed the different personalities and the changes in Point-of-view were interesting, but I found them a little hard to follow. Looking forward to reading more.
Got 2 chapters read tonight. The story is still clicking along at a good pace.*Love* the Fusco dialogue. I think you really captured him. The Reese/Finch dialogue is good, too, especially the underwear part. Had a sudden mental picture of Finch in VS’s, asking the clerk for help. I would pay to see that. His first meeting with Grace was nice. Taylor was an interesting contrast to Cordelia. The somewhat chaotic ‘interview’ in the safe-house showed the different personalities and the changes in Point-of-view were interesting, but I found them a little hard to follow. Looking forward to reading more.
1/29/2013 c2 Greyleaf
I *really* liked the descriptions of the assault from Amanda’s point-of-view. Great detail. I hadn’t thought about what it would be like to be on the receiving end of a strangulation before, other than pain and death, of course. The part describing how she tries to get a breath and her throat is swollen, etc. drew me in enough that I almost felt it. Finch’s thoughts about how she rambles and won’t shut up made me laugh. On to the next chapter!
I *really* liked the descriptions of the assault from Amanda’s point-of-view. Great detail. I hadn’t thought about what it would be like to be on the receiving end of a strangulation before, other than pain and death, of course. The part describing how she tries to get a breath and her throat is swollen, etc. drew me in enough that I almost felt it. Finch’s thoughts about how she rambles and won’t shut up made me laugh. On to the next chapter!
1/28/2013 c1 Greyleaf
Nice start. I like the way the various scenes are tied together by the storm. The descriptions of the lightning and rain are vivid. The back-and-forth between Reese and Finch was good, too; funny, especially the ‘titles’ Reese kept coming up with. My interest is piqued by the female character and I’m curious to find out what the connection is to the other P.O.I.
Nice start. I like the way the various scenes are tied together by the storm. The descriptions of the lightning and rain are vivid. The back-and-forth between Reese and Finch was good, too; funny, especially the ‘titles’ Reese kept coming up with. My interest is piqued by the female character and I’m curious to find out what the connection is to the other P.O.I.
8/19/2012 c23 13gaben
I'd completely forgot about the bug...
Great Chapter LOl at Codelia's response to do you indulge... "Ohh..with the wine, you mean?"
and as far as Finch being out of character... hmm I don't necessarily thinks so, or that he is too far from it... you give his character motivation... at first I thought it a bit of a space Jump, him being so direct, but then, the ambigious banter between him and our little nuff nuff, gives him more than cause. I think thats the thing I really like about her chracter, you present her as nieave and emotional, but once she gets whats being said, those same qualities allow her to be open, mischeievuois and not so judgemental... That seems to be something Finch ends up learning about her, which I think is very much in character for him.
The case may have been solved , but the resloutions to their relationship were not, and while Finch is not usually presnted as a womanising sexual god, he is alowed to be good in bed...
Finally the shower scene was superb, while theire were no words of declaration, the fact that he alows Cordelia to see his nakedness his scars, etc was a strong emotional point for the character and a significant declaration,one that he has not shared with anyone.
The reversal role of Reese being the mother Hen was great, we saw a touch ofthat in him in the last episode season one, though a he was little more threatening. I'd loved this story, and have become hooked on the show as a result. Can't wait untill september for season 2.
13gabenI'd completely forgot about the bug...
Great Chapter LOl at Codelia's response to do you indulge... "Ohh..with the wine, you mean?"
and as far as Finch being out of character... hmm I don't necessarily thinks so, or that he is too far from it... you give his character motivation... at first I thought it a bit of a space Jump, him being so direct, but then, the ambigious banter between him and our little nuff nuff, gives him more than cause. I think thats the thing I really like about her chracter, you present her as nieave and emotional, but once she gets whats being said, those same qualities allow her to be open, mischeievuois and not so judgemental... That seems to be something Finch ends up learning about her, which I think is very much in character for him.
The case may have been solved , but the resloutions to their relationship were not, and while Finch is not usually presnted as a womanising sexual god, he is alowed to be good in bed...
Finally the shower scene was superb, while theire were no words of declaration, the fact that he alows Cordelia to see his nakedness his scars, etc was a strong emotional point for the character and a significant declaration,one that he has not shared with anyone.
The reversal role of Reese being the mother Hen was great, we saw a touch ofthat in him in the last episode season one, though a he was little more threatening. I'd loved this story, and have become hooked on the show as a result. Can't wait untill september for season 2.
8/19/2012 c23 2Mamahub
*wolf whistle* WHOO, HOO! YOU GO, MR. FINCH!
I absolutely ADORED the mirror scene - but I'm surprised the mirror didn't get all fogged up from the MASSIVE HOTNESS! Lady, that was sweeeeet!
But I can't believe IT'S OVER! *sobs quietly in the corner* Hopefully some new plot bunnies will be nibbling on your heels soon!
2Mamahub*wolf whistle* WHOO, HOO! YOU GO, MR. FINCH!
I absolutely ADORED the mirror scene - but I'm surprised the mirror didn't get all fogged up from the MASSIVE HOTNESS! Lady, that was sweeeeet!
But I can't believe IT'S OVER! *sobs quietly in the corner* Hopefully some new plot bunnies will be nibbling on your heels soon!
8/19/2012 c22 Mamahub
This chaper is such a hoot, and very, very sweet too! Cordelia's murderous rendition of the song is absolutely epic: 'I don't need no money, fountains or flames..' 'I got all the bitches, baby..one man can claim.' *SNORT!*
And apparently we need no longer wonder what Finch's favorite color is - Blue - at least when Cordelia is wearing it: "He felt his instrument twinge with..sympathetic inklings. He chastised it sternly." - LOL!
Cordelia drunk is hysterical!: "Cordelia turned, grimacing her distaste. "Oh, as if I care about your little secret 'code thingies'." She quoted with her fingers. She threw up her hands, stomping off to the bedroom. "NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LITTLE 'CODE THINGIES'..TRUST ME!" she yelled over her shoulder, quoting once again, with her fingers." - You tell him girl!
Daww - Finch bought back her mother's ring. Hopefully that little peace offering will do the trick.
This chaper is such a hoot, and very, very sweet too! Cordelia's murderous rendition of the song is absolutely epic: 'I don't need no money, fountains or flames..' 'I got all the bitches, baby..one man can claim.' *SNORT!*
And apparently we need no longer wonder what Finch's favorite color is - Blue - at least when Cordelia is wearing it: "He felt his instrument twinge with..sympathetic inklings. He chastised it sternly." - LOL!
Cordelia drunk is hysterical!: "Cordelia turned, grimacing her distaste. "Oh, as if I care about your little secret 'code thingies'." She quoted with her fingers. She threw up her hands, stomping off to the bedroom. "NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LITTLE 'CODE THINGIES'..TRUST ME!" she yelled over her shoulder, quoting once again, with her fingers." - You tell him girl!
Daww - Finch bought back her mother's ring. Hopefully that little peace offering will do the trick.