for Verboten Anthology6/12/2022 c4 Darsusrts
Nice story so far. Didn't expect to find a Revelation Space fanfic on this site. Is Jastrustriak an OC or is he the guy that got retconned in the second book?
Nice story so far. Didn't expect to find a Revelation Space fanfic on this site. Is Jastrustriak an OC or is he the guy that got retconned in the second book?
7/24/2012 c4 Kaleidoscope
Interesting. I like the relationship that you are starting up with Fate and her father; it's going to be awkward, finding out that the daughter you were trying to avenge sort of got cloned and joined the organization you were trying to avenge yourself against, but he's actually got decent parenting instincts (as opposed to Precia). The challenge for him is probably going to be separating Fate from the idealized daughter he's been building up.
I particularly like Jastrustriak the Conjoiner. He fits in well with the current structure of the MGLG universe (artifical intelligence with magic? We're going to need a better hacker...), but at the same time has a skill set that we simply haven't seen enough of. So far, he's come across as strange, and slightly alien, but not unlikable. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.
Are you setting the team up as a sort-of counterpart to Riot Force 6? Or is that comparison just sort of unavoidable?
Also, nice job on the utterly *psychotic* grimoire. It felt like trying to parse an unhelpful error message, but with the added benefit of the computer trying to be unhelpful within its pre-programmed behavior - a cross between Windows and a Unselighe fae.
Interesting. I like the relationship that you are starting up with Fate and her father; it's going to be awkward, finding out that the daughter you were trying to avenge sort of got cloned and joined the organization you were trying to avenge yourself against, but he's actually got decent parenting instincts (as opposed to Precia). The challenge for him is probably going to be separating Fate from the idealized daughter he's been building up.
I particularly like Jastrustriak the Conjoiner. He fits in well with the current structure of the MGLG universe (artifical intelligence with magic? We're going to need a better hacker...), but at the same time has a skill set that we simply haven't seen enough of. So far, he's come across as strange, and slightly alien, but not unlikable. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.
Are you setting the team up as a sort-of counterpart to Riot Force 6? Or is that comparison just sort of unavoidable?
Also, nice job on the utterly *psychotic* grimoire. It felt like trying to parse an unhelpful error message, but with the added benefit of the computer trying to be unhelpful within its pre-programmed behavior - a cross between Windows and a Unselighe fae.
7/6/2012 c4 Guest
Good story:-).
Good story:-).
6/26/2012 c4 
1Keimarios
Now this is shaping up to be quite the crossover. I wonder how this story will progress. Will it be through battles or drama with newer characters or both? This doesn't appear to be one of those crossovers that just slap other characters into another story's plot and leaves me desiring more. Though currently I am confused as to how this new book device and Fate's biological father will mix in. Also, at what point in the MGLN timeline does this take place?
1KeimariosNow this is shaping up to be quite the crossover. I wonder how this story will progress. Will it be through battles or drama with newer characters or both? This doesn't appear to be one of those crossovers that just slap other characters into another story's plot and leaves me desiring more. Though currently I am confused as to how this new book device and Fate's biological father will mix in. Also, at what point in the MGLN timeline does this take place?
6/23/2012 c4 B.B. Rain
Well, already my preconceptions have been warped! And in a pleasent way, no less.
Being unfamiliar with Revelation Space, the novel and the series, my ability to predict where you are going is limited. But as for Nanoha-series things...I'm going to assume, either the TSAB already knows Prison is a clone of Jail, or it's really an unfortunate coincidence.
Or Hilux is the clone and Prison is an obvious false lure.
As for Frederick...Admittedly, the paternity became claer for me before Yuuno realized, but mostly because I'm viewing this as fiction, and expect plot points and narrative-fueling 'coincidences' to be anything but.
Still, it seems Precia wasn't the only Testarossa to be more then a little unhinged after Alicia's death. This should prove interseting, as the story progresses.
Looking forward to more.
Well, already my preconceptions have been warped! And in a pleasent way, no less.
Being unfamiliar with Revelation Space, the novel and the series, my ability to predict where you are going is limited. But as for Nanoha-series things...I'm going to assume, either the TSAB already knows Prison is a clone of Jail, or it's really an unfortunate coincidence.
Or Hilux is the clone and Prison is an obvious false lure.
As for Frederick...Admittedly, the paternity became claer for me before Yuuno realized, but mostly because I'm viewing this as fiction, and expect plot points and narrative-fueling 'coincidences' to be anything but.
Still, it seems Precia wasn't the only Testarossa to be more then a little unhinged after Alicia's death. This should prove interseting, as the story progresses.
Looking forward to more.
6/23/2012 c1 11The Bellmaker
Hm. good to see you writing again, first. Always glad to see someone return.
As for the chapter...It feels very different from your prior work. Almost like you're trying to imitate a style?
I think it does feel a little like Reynolds's work, although, stylistically and for easy of reading, not as attractive or engaging as your older pieces.
11The BellmakerHm. good to see you writing again, first. Always glad to see someone return.
As for the chapter...It feels very different from your prior work. Almost like you're trying to imitate a style?
I think it does feel a little like Reynolds's work, although, stylistically and for easy of reading, not as attractive or engaging as your older pieces.