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for Zayden Blaze

5h c8 1anaklumos28
You should be a writer for Netflix shows - your writing is just short enough that it feels like a good amount without seeming too long and makes me want to keep reading. Before I know it, I have read 4 chapters, and I have to get up early tomorrow haha!

I hope that Kiani eventually gets treated better and you resolve that conflict there - he seemed like a pretty cool dude.

I think the scene where Jordan takes Ziana to the shroud was a good moment for Jordan to maybe peck Ziana on the cheek? Or for Ziana to squeeze Jordan's hand back? I feel like there needs to be something to pass the threshold for them to know that they both see each other as more than friends, but that might just be me.
5h c7 anaklumos28
That is so awesome! I love the backstory of Jessica having a hole in her life that could only be filled by an awesome brother figure like Percy! Your story is not overly sappy in a romantic way and it is just right.

I am so glad that at least Hestia knows now! You were killing me with no one knowing who the guy in the brown hood was.

My complaint is that you write so well that I want to keep reading more in each chapter. Keep writing, sincerely, your fan. :)
5h c6 anaklumos28
Ireland and Idaho, wow! Which place do you think is more beautiful? Of course, I think the knee-jerk response would be to say Ireland, but I think Idaho has a lot of countryside scenery and could be visually pleasing in a bucolic way?

Aaah, please make Percy take off his hood - why must you torture us like this?

Also, does Artemis like him, or does she develop feelings for him over the story?
5h c5 anaklumos28
I really liked reading Aisling's perspective - I think that she has more human emotions than Order and I think that making her the antagonist is a really good idea. I think it is interesting that she likes Percy - it would have been cool to see this chapter from both Aisling and Artemis's perspective.

I am a little bit sad that we don't get to see Percy show himself yet. I guess there is something to Artemis loving Percy for who he is as a person, not just his "gorgeous" looks. Interestingly, the only person who thought Percy was gorgeous was in a relationship with someone else. The two who are probably the main competitors for his attention have either never seen how he really looks or haven't seen him for a while.

I really like your descriptive imagery, for example, when you said the trees were "hiding" the sunlight and I like that Percy is slowly inching his way into the good books of the hunters :)
1/18 c4 anaklumos28
That's very interesting that you called the torture lady "seemingly harmless" XD. If anything, I would call her "seemingly harmful" :D I feel kind of bad for Geoffrey, first of all for having such a pompous sounding name (he seems like a pretty chill dude tbh) and second of all for being the boy toy of Aisling.

I love how much detail you put into this chapter, from giving the environment of Order's planet to Geoffrey's entrance to Percy's Q and A with the hunters. However, I feel like the introduction of all the hunters was a bit unnecessary. I didn't feel like I would be able to keep all that information and if any of it does become important to the plot, I wouldn't remember it. Maybe just give information about the hunters who are going to interact with Percy? You could have just given the names of the other hunters? Aaagh, I really want Percy to show himself - but maybe, AT THE BATTLE OMG I CAN'T WAIT
1/17 c3 anaklumos28
You got me in the feels with Jordan and Zarina and I can't wait for Artemis to see Percy 3. You know, unless Artemis is fine with falling in love with the "Brown Cloak Dude" and they kiss and get married with his hood on. "As I stared at his brown hood, I couldn't help but think how much they reminded me of brownies. I don't care if I can never see his face, I know I love his eyes and his kind personality. I reached for the soft fleece behind his head as we both leaned in. *AGGRESSIVE MAKE OUT SESSION*"

You know, your writing reminds me of Starblade176's writing. You both write a lot of detailed information about made-up planets/external information. You guys should meet up together or something :D But on a real note, the external information is good to a degree... but after that it just becomes tedious and makes it challenging to read. Or maybe that's just because I'm tired.
1/17 c2 anaklumos28
It was really quite good! I love how you bring references from many things like Zelda and Harry Potter (I feel like the different groups having different sections of the castle reminds me of Hogwarts).

I also like how you really thought about all of these seven people's names and group names - they are all so unique and weird and it seems just weird enough for them to be realistic but still be part of a weird new world.

I also think that it would be interesting to see Percy Zorina ;) I feel like she is intelligent just like Annabeth and I feel like Percy would fall for her too. Or Percy Sophia? Then Zorina and the Nico looking dude and Percy and Sophia could go on a double date? Forgive my romantic musings :)
1/10 c1 anaklumos28
Such powerful writing that makes us really feel the gravity of the situation - I am so glad Chaos came right after Percy was sentenced. It would have been really horrible if Daniel and Annabeth decided to have some fun after Percy disappeared.

Lord Chaos is a baller and I am glad that all the stuff about Percy being wrongly accused was finished in the first chapter - I feel like it could get dragged on.
1/9 c19 OtakuJunior
This story has been enjoyable and I hope I will be lucky enough in the future to see it reach its conclusion.
1/4 c19 F-I-X-6
I've absolutely loved the build up to the reunion and the entire story arc in general; as well as the attention to detail on Chaos' planet as well as all the other planets aside from earth. I'm so glad you're not abandoning this story. Can't wait for the next update!
1/2 c19 percabeth 4eva
woo glad you eventually intend to finish this can not waittt and i am sorry about the bad reviews and people trying to get you amazing ideas but that itself is a compliment good luck with everything goping on in your life and wish you the best
12/31/2020 c19 NorthsideDee23
Awesome story plz come back and update
12/28/2020 c6 bubbly
The Sword and The Pen
Remind you of something . A certain Riptide/Anaklumos ?
12/26/2020 c1 Guest
Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Plz Update Soon.
Great Story.
Loved it.
12/24/2020 c1 Guest
A great drinking game is to take a shot every time a half-assed chaos story is written
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