for Legolas' Son5/7/2013 c1 
23youngjusticefanatic
I hope you do continue with this story very soon. This was a really good first chapter!
23youngjusticefanaticI hope you do continue with this story very soon. This was a really good first chapter!
8/30/2012 c1 katemcsparkysharkyman98
love it! make a copy bring it to school :)
i would love to be your beta :) ;) :D XD 3
love it! make a copy bring it to school :)
i would love to be your beta :) ;) :D XD 3
7/13/2012 c1 WethTori
It was sad when Nim died, I liked her. It was so sweet when Legolas came back to save his childrens' lives.
It was sad when Nim died, I liked her. It was so sweet when Legolas came back to save his childrens' lives.
7/10/2012 c1 Guest
Good!
depressing. But I enjoyed reading it!
Can you include the rest of the fellowship in later chapters?
Good!
depressing. But I enjoyed reading it!
Can you include the rest of the fellowship in later chapters?
7/6/2012 c1 Guest
Interesting, but your grammar needs a little work. You skip from present to past tense a bit so you need to focus on improving that. Hope to see the next chapter soon!
Interesting, but your grammar needs a little work. You skip from present to past tense a bit so you need to focus on improving that. Hope to see the next chapter soon!
7/6/2012 c1 1Nim3Hunters9LGA
Thank you for reviewing, i will take into account any advice anyone will give me. Please remember that this is a fanfic and i know Legolas doesn't get married or has children(i know this even without having finished reading the books). This is NOT my finished version, i am rewriting it and trying to improve it. I am still trying to figure out as i have only signed up a few days ago. I would very much appreciate anything you have to say. I am writing a note of any pointers so i can improve in my Fanfic writing. And one more thing, if anyone has some ideas for the next chapter they would like to share, I would very much appreciate it! :)
1Nim3Hunters9LGAThank you for reviewing, i will take into account any advice anyone will give me. Please remember that this is a fanfic and i know Legolas doesn't get married or has children(i know this even without having finished reading the books). This is NOT my finished version, i am rewriting it and trying to improve it. I am still trying to figure out as i have only signed up a few days ago. I would very much appreciate anything you have to say. I am writing a note of any pointers so i can improve in my Fanfic writing. And one more thing, if anyone has some ideas for the next chapter they would like to share, I would very much appreciate it! :)
7/5/2012 c1 Guest
Okay, I have some concrit for you; i just want you to understand this is not a flame, just some tips.
First off, I would change you summary, as the one you have now is kind of rambling and doesn't tell us anything about the story.
Your names don't seem elvish- there ar a lot of sights out there that can help with that-I would suggest realelvish .net (remove the space). It will not only give you names, but name cultures, and it will explain why elves don't name their children after other elves- esspecially not living ones.
The plot makes more sense than most Mirkwood stories do- except for the whole 'two elflings all alone in the forest' idea; let's be realistic- Mirkwood is swarming with evil creatures, so why would there be no place for elflings to practice their skill without risking their lives? i suspect that even of tere isn't a training ground of sorts, they wouldn't allow the elflings to leave alone- they would certainly have an adult.
I'm not sure you grasp the concept of the Elvish afterlife. They don't die; they go to the hallf of Mandos and are restored to their bodies, just as before, after which most sail to the undying lands; so while it was sad that she was killed, her family would see her again when they sail.
Also, I know this is fanfiction, but...Legolas never married or had kids- at least not in Arda. after the war, he went travelling with Gimli and the two eventually sailed to the undying lands after King Estel died.
Finally, your writing style lacks a little- it's very choppy and mater-of fact. I would suggest adding detail and working on the flow.
Okay, I have some concrit for you; i just want you to understand this is not a flame, just some tips.
First off, I would change you summary, as the one you have now is kind of rambling and doesn't tell us anything about the story.
Your names don't seem elvish- there ar a lot of sights out there that can help with that-I would suggest realelvish .net (remove the space). It will not only give you names, but name cultures, and it will explain why elves don't name their children after other elves- esspecially not living ones.
The plot makes more sense than most Mirkwood stories do- except for the whole 'two elflings all alone in the forest' idea; let's be realistic- Mirkwood is swarming with evil creatures, so why would there be no place for elflings to practice their skill without risking their lives? i suspect that even of tere isn't a training ground of sorts, they wouldn't allow the elflings to leave alone- they would certainly have an adult.
I'm not sure you grasp the concept of the Elvish afterlife. They don't die; they go to the hallf of Mandos and are restored to their bodies, just as before, after which most sail to the undying lands; so while it was sad that she was killed, her family would see her again when they sail.
Also, I know this is fanfiction, but...Legolas never married or had kids- at least not in Arda. after the war, he went travelling with Gimli and the two eventually sailed to the undying lands after King Estel died.
Finally, your writing style lacks a little- it's very choppy and mater-of fact. I would suggest adding detail and working on the flow.
7/5/2012 c1 monkeepeanut
Very nice so far. I was sad when Nimthiriel died, though. :( I like this story so far. It's very good for your first one! I can't wait to see how it turns out. Please continue! :D
Very nice so far. I was sad when Nimthiriel died, though. :( I like this story so far. It's very good for your first one! I can't wait to see how it turns out. Please continue! :D