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8/9/2012 c5 2Kisa tracer
Good story so far cant wait to read more
8/9/2012 c1 16LordsFire
You have a couple small errors with tenses here, and a bit of a tendency to be overly-expository; for example, when Nodoka talks with Rei, saying her smile faded at the thought of the omens she had retrieved is redundant, and makes it feel like the story is being told to me, rather than allowing me to be immersed within it. Simply saying her smile became somewhat strained would have been sufficient.

These are the kinds of kinks that are fairly easy for a rookie author to work out with practice. Unfortunately a lot of fanfic authors never seem to bother trying to improve, having received a great number of reviews myself, I suspect it is at least in part because they don't get much in the way of *useful* feedback.
8/6/2012 c5 MrStaypuft
That was one hell of a day for Ranma. And damn those clubs must be desperate. Even if Ranma is good it doesn't mean he will be able to play well enough with the rules give to the "normal" games. If it was a Martial Arts Vollyball or Baseball then maybe he would get it and like it. Otherwise nope. _
8/5/2012 c5 Guest
Uaagi's reaspn for not getting up early is sound. I agree, sleep is awesome. G'night.
8/6/2012 c4 7Cloud1239999
The prank on Soun had me grinning from ear to ear. Glad to see that you kept Ranma as the bad actor that he is. Maybe he'll learn in drama classes in school.
8/5/2012 c5 8Tribun
Despite what you say, this is a strong chapter with lots of character building.

Now, first off, I applaud you that you try to keep the timetable straight. The school year does start in April in Japan and considering that Ranma and Usagi are 12-13 (more likely 13), they would both be in the first year of middle school (also called junior high). Now, I know that Usagi in canon was 14 and in the second year, but considering you already anounced Minako's return to Japan in a few months, things seem to happen one year earlier.

Despite all the fuck-ups the original series had with time, it was made surprisingly clear that at the end of it, it was winter and when season 2 started (chronologically a few months later), it was spring. Therefore, since school had already started again, season 1 started in early September, right after the end of summer leave.

Is all this useful for you? It'd mostly fit, just in this chapter Ms. Haruna complaining that Usagi is her nemesis is difficult, although Usagi's incredible laziness can explain it.

-I do find it nice that you take the time to actually set up Naru as Usagi's friend. I did find it rather disgusting how she, Usagi's friend since kindergarden, was simply dumped when she got new friends. Hopefully this time Usagi realises how loyal of a friend Naru is. And maybe she becomes less of the damsel scrappy she was in canon.

-Seeing the setup, all inner senshi are now accounted for. Ami is Ranma's neighbor, Usagi his cousin, Rei as well (does that mean Rei and usagi are related?), Minako is still in England and Makoto is taken care of by Nodoka.

-Speaking of Minako, the whole mess with the Dark Agency in England took several months, so we actually should expect her meeting Artemis pretty soon.

-As for Nodoka, I would really dislike any sinister stuff. Her actually holding contact with all Senshi without her actually knowing the significance, could have a different meaning. What if she actually carries the reborn soul of Queen Serenity?

-And now Ranma... Boy, he never has it easy, doesn't he? It was never adressed why in canon the clubs didn't try to get him, and here we get the answer that he really didn't care as it would be to big of a hassle. I get the feeling that Ryoga attacking at school wil lget quite the different reaction. Imagine him slicing of Usagi's hair... Ranma will kill him for that.

I think I better stop, before I ramble on even more. Hope the next one comes soon.
8/5/2012 c5 3Hiryo
Wow cool chapter again thanks for updating!
8/5/2012 c5 1dialga9182
You are doing great ! Keep it up.

... MOAR CHAPTERS NOW PLZ!
8/5/2012 c5 1Ceridwen Kalamack
I root for sinister! Nodoka is Beryl reincarnated!
8/5/2012 c5 1irnzenmonk
nice chapter ne
8/5/2012 c5 Jerry Unipeg
GREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) That is Ryoga we all loave. I like the idea Nodoka take Ranma with her when visiting the other children.
8/5/2012 c5 5Nysk
Good chapter.
I like how you are bringing the characters together and the school interaction instead of jumping straight into the Negaverse stuff.

I look forward to more.
8/5/2012 c5 1Vld
Well, you may not be happy with this chapter... but i am. it was pretty good in my book. And i also see that right now only one of the Inners isn't linked to Ranma in any way. i mean, four of them already met Nodoka. So, i'm betting Minako is linked to him as well so i need to ak... how? And what about the Outers?

Anyway, ignore that. If you sort-of follow Cannon, then the othes won't appear yet.

Oh, and Kuddos for the "gender-changing aliens don't exist" (and the appearance of the three Senshis i like least afterwards).
8/5/2012 c5 1Menooshuh
Good chapter. Just wondering, but how old are the sailor senshi in their series? The same age as your fanfic?
8/3/2012 c1 Warfailz
I couldn't help but notice spelling errors throughout the chapters. If you would like I can proof-read then for you. If you're interested pm me.
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