for Pranking Snape11/5/2022 c2 
149rebecca-in-blue
I think most pranks are meant to be anonymous in nature, but two chapters in, Ron and Hermione's one-line "pranks" both feel like nothing at all, and I think the consequences for them and Gryffindor House outweigh any short-term embarrassment for Snape. The Trio's dialogue sounds pretty wooden.
149rebecca-in-blueI think most pranks are meant to be anonymous in nature, but two chapters in, Ron and Hermione's one-line "pranks" both feel like nothing at all, and I think the consequences for them and Gryffindor House outweigh any short-term embarrassment for Snape. The Trio's dialogue sounds pretty wooden.
5/26/2017 c7 11Prunus padus
Poor Snape. I liked the snowball fight. It would have been even better with a little more description in my humble opinion. But I really like the idea.
11Prunus padusPoor Snape. I liked the snowball fight. It would have been even better with a little more description in my humble opinion. But I really like the idea.
12/13/2016 c1 Guest
I don''t mean any offense, but do you speak English? The language in your story sounds wooden and stilted... Happy writing!
I don''t mean any offense, but do you speak English? The language in your story sounds wooden and stilted... Happy writing!
8/20/2015 c7 Guest
OMG YESSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MORE
OMG YESSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MORE
6/14/2015 c3 TheDoctorsTrueCompanion
Your fanfic is difficult to describe, on the one hand it is a very good idea and most of what you've written is great but there are some problems, especially with the way you word things.
The way you are writing meaning the language you use and the way you word it sounds very monotone. And while this may seem mean I can imagine it being read by a defiant child who is only reading one word at a time e.g. I. Saw. A. Dog. And. It. Was. Pretty. I. Like. Dog.
Again I mean no offence I am only giving you constructive criticism maybe future when you write you should learn to make words flow instead of clumping them together. Because well it may work when speaking to someone it sounds unprofessional and wrong in a book or in this case fanfiction.
Your fanfic is difficult to describe, on the one hand it is a very good idea and most of what you've written is great but there are some problems, especially with the way you word things.
The way you are writing meaning the language you use and the way you word it sounds very monotone. And while this may seem mean I can imagine it being read by a defiant child who is only reading one word at a time e.g. I. Saw. A. Dog. And. It. Was. Pretty. I. Like. Dog.
Again I mean no offence I am only giving you constructive criticism maybe future when you write you should learn to make words flow instead of clumping them together. Because well it may work when speaking to someone it sounds unprofessional and wrong in a book or in this case fanfiction.
1/27/2015 c2 Person
I'm sorry, but do you speak English? I don't mean that in any offensive way, but you use some strange word choice in this fic, and some odd grammar as well. Either way, I advise you find a beta to go over you're stories for you before you put them up. Love the idea of the story, but the way. Really fun! Well, that's all. A lovely day to you!
I'm sorry, but do you speak English? I don't mean that in any offensive way, but you use some strange word choice in this fic, and some odd grammar as well. Either way, I advise you find a beta to go over you're stories for you before you put them up. Love the idea of the story, but the way. Really fun! Well, that's all. A lovely day to you!
5/2/2014 c7 hermionefan1983
I thought the other day was Halloween when she turned his hair orange? how can it be Halloween AGAIN so quickly? also is this the end? please no! also write it more like a story that just snips of what it is! like concersations and etc! and add lemons too!
I thought the other day was Halloween when she turned his hair orange? how can it be Halloween AGAIN so quickly? also is this the end? please no! also write it more like a story that just snips of what it is! like concersations and etc! and add lemons too!
2/9/2014 c7 readersally
Wonderful! I loved it. Please update soon.
Wonderful! I loved it. Please update soon.
11/26/2013 c7 Guest
sooooo not fair to snape. :(
sooooo not fair to snape. :(
7/30/2013 c3 2ThePadfootPretender
I love the idea! But so far it seems a little stilted and wooden, try to tell the story as if it was you telling it to a friend. Or try telling it through dialogue rather than showing. Overall its pretty good! :)
2ThePadfootPretenderI love the idea! But so far it seems a little stilted and wooden, try to tell the story as if it was you telling it to a friend. Or try telling it through dialogue rather than showing. Overall its pretty good! :)