for Perils of a TimeTraveling Orange Sage8/6/2012 c1 
15Burnzs
It's an interesting read but the big blocks of text kinda make it hard to follow.
15BurnzsIt's an interesting read but the big blocks of text kinda make it hard to follow.
7/25/2012 c1 6DawnoftheNutter
Ok, couple of things: please...you don't need to caplocks every other word to make a point. Funny story, but really hard to read with the formatting (could just be my astigmatism, but things look like blocks). So can you break down the paragraphs by dialogue and related actions. Hint: read your story out loud and see if it makes sense or if it is just too damn embarrassing. Remember, sometimes things just seem cooler in your head.
6DawnoftheNutterOk, couple of things: please...you don't need to caplocks every other word to make a point. Funny story, but really hard to read with the formatting (could just be my astigmatism, but things look like blocks). So can you break down the paragraphs by dialogue and related actions. Hint: read your story out loud and see if it makes sense or if it is just too damn embarrassing. Remember, sometimes things just seem cooler in your head.