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for Road to Sakura

8/23/2013 c21 1maxridelover
wow, that was really intense and emotional, great work!
8/23/2013 c21 7Shadowlove'scookies
Awesome chapter! I really liked it. I can't wait for the next chapter!
8/22/2013 c20 Black-footed
Go Sakura! Man, when Hinata said that Sakura would go cry for her mother and father, that was harsh. Please update!
8/22/2013 c20 1maxridelover
hinata as unkind is something i find difficult to think of, but i like it when authors make changes!
3/21/2013 c6 wlkwos
Well, Sakura has quite the temper, especially if you hit a sore spot, like the death of her parents. And so it seems does Sasuke. The dynamics between the two of them are really quite fiery, and I can see Kakashi having trouble with this Team Seven as well, trouble in a big way. Naruto and Sasuke are no problem this time round, but Sakura is, and her long-buried resentment, her anger, her pride and her loneliness have boiled over into a seething rage and outward dislike of both her teammates, all because of one genjutsu and one question.

I'm not surprised that Sakura is so nasty in this chapter. She's a smart, perceptive girl, and it's already been made clear that she has quite a cutting tongue, so combining the two when her ire is raised leads quite naturally to her getting in several rather hurtful jabs at the expense of both boys. Sasuke manages to hold his own fairly well, even if Sakura does goad him into a rage as well, and the result is that some very unkind things are said by both sides. How much of it is true, though? Is Naruto really dumb and a burden to Sasuke? Sasuke's reaction suggests that he thinks not, that he's protective of Naruto, who really does matter to him. Do people only respect Sasuke for his position and not for who he is? Perhaps some do, but there are surely others beyond Naruto who just like Sasuke as Sasuke, not because of his family. Were Sakura's parents really that bad, choosing to leave their daughter behind in defence of the village? And does Sakura have an attitude problem? I'd say the answer to that last question is yes, though not quite for the same reasons Sasuke believes. As she points out, she's not exactly spoiled, living without parents, struggling to make ends meet, but previous chapters have shown her immense sense of dignity, her rigid self-control, her awareness that she is seen as the Hokage's daughter, her brittle, hard shell that she has constructed to keep people out, to protect herself.

One of the other things that I'm wondering is how much Sakura's barbed words to Sasuke reflect her own fears. She accuses him of mistaking flattery for liking - in one of the previous chapters she has the issues Konohamaru had in canon, isolated by her relationship to the Hokage, and so I wonder if she's projecting her own experiences onto Sasuke. As for her loathing of Naruto, well, this chapter makes it really clear that it boils down to jealousy and resentment: he still has his parents, and she doesn't, and he has his parents because his father turned down the position of Hokage. Clearly his parents are to blame for her parents' deaths. And it's going to really hurt that Minato turned down the position for the sake of his child. He puts Naruto first, whilst her parents seem to her to have put the village first - so Sasuke's words hurt her very deeply, because they reflect one of her deepest fears, one she can't acknowledge, but is starting to do so at the beginning of the chapter.

You have a talent for really teasing out the thoughts and feelings of the protagonists, for laying them bare on the page, and here you have done it very neatly in the form of a flaming row. I also like the fact that Sasuke does indeed seem to be decent, coming of his own volition to apologise, possibly because he fancies Sakura (if that pink on his cheeks is anything to go by). And whilst Sakura explodes in this chapter, all that pent-up fury finally finding an outlet, she at least begins the chapter knowing that she overstepped her boundaries earlier on, that she was unacceptably rude to Naruto, and that she is more bothered by her parents' sacrifice than she cares to admit. Heck, her outburst here is actually quite good for her. She cries for the first time, she loses her self-control, she starts to argue, to show some of the real Sakura with insecurities and feelings.

There are a few tense-related issues in the chapter, where the present tense lapses into past tense, or past actions take the pluperfect when they should take the perfect. So "did her warm-up exercises three times" should been "DONE her warm-up etc", "Everything she did had been done perfectly" should be "Everything she HAS DONE HAS been etc", "Sakura's mind could not go onto its celebratory mood" should be "mind CANNOT go etc", "Naruto's question haunted every corner of her mind" should be "HAUNTS every corner", "when she had saw her parents' cold and unmoving bodies" should be either "when she SAW" or "when she had SEEN", "Sakura had already thrown a kunai at him" should be "Sakura HAS already", though that makes the sentence clumsy and could be replaced by something like "Sakura whips a kunai from her holster and throws it at him". Then there's "If Sakura had looked closer, she would have seen that his face was a bit pink", where I'm not entirely certain which tense to use myself, though the past isn't right. Maybe "If Sakura were to look closer, she would see etc". Similarly, the last line "neither one knowing where it would take them" should have "neither one knowing where it WILL take them".

Beyond the tense problems, I can't think of other spelling or grammar issues in this chapter. It's possible that the bad behaviour of both kids may put some readers off a little, but I feel that based on the portrait of Sakura you have created in the last few chapters, her behaviour is understandable and plausible. Her anger comes from years of bottling everything up and never letting anyone in close, never allowing herself to acknowledge what she really feels. Your handling of her emotions is sensitive and very well done, and one of the greatest strengths of your style. Even better is the fact that in this chapter you're showing her feelings through her words and her actions, rather than giving a straightforward narration explaining how she feels. As for Sasuke, well, his behaviour is clearly the result of Sakura's vicious goading, so ... Kakashi is going to have his hands full. Poor, poor man.
1/4/2013 c19 7hello halcyon days
ohmygoodness i am very in LOVE :D Please update soon!
12/27/2012 c19 FaithfullyWicked
I love Ino, even more in this story. I hope Sakura kicks Hinata's ass... but i almost have a bad feeling about this. T.T Can't wait for more...
12/27/2012 c19 Shadows55
Omg finally :'( so happy to see an update! Hell yeah! Loved this chapter! Poor Ino :( but I can't wait for the next chapter! Hope Sakura does Ino justice, kicks Hinata's ass (I don't dislike her though haha) and then goes for Temari! Grrrr! By the way I am the anonymous reviewer Shadows, I made an account to review and properly follow stories :) ok byeee update soon!
12/26/2012 c19 hateme101
YES! she gets to fight Hinata
12/26/2012 c19 1maxridelover
hmmm interesting!
11/29/2012 c18 1J-N-Carlo
aww,I wonder what's going to happened next! and what happened to them?
11/26/2012 c18 TheBloodyLove
So this is TheBloodyLoveofSakuraHaruno. It won't let me laptop is reaching its limits :'( I feel like I skipped a chapter or two because I don't remember this. But then again, i'm really far behind on everything. D: My inbox is flooded with fanfiction and manga :( But this was a good chapter. Hope nothing happens to Sasuke. And I hope you made it through the hurricane ok
11/11/2012 c18 Shadows
yay! :D so glad to see an update, ;) hope you are okay after that freakish storm and your family as well! I liked the chapter :D please keep going, such a joy to read.
11/5/2012 c18 Anonymous
The character development is really nice, and I like how Sakura's icy shell is thawing.
11/5/2012 c18 Shadow Wolf
Awsome chapter! I really liked it. Update soon!
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