for Expanding Horizons4/23/2022 c1 oxyd2013
I don't know if you realize that your first "historical" chapters are more or less a recycling of real German/Nazi propaganda from the 20'ies and 30'ies.
Poor Germany was so wronged by vengeful neighbors!
The neighbors are obviously responsible for the next war.
Well, except for the brits: They speak english so they can't be bad guys, right?
I don't know if you realize that your first "historical" chapters are more or less a recycling of real German/Nazi propaganda from the 20'ies and 30'ies.
Poor Germany was so wronged by vengeful neighbors!
The neighbors are obviously responsible for the next war.
Well, except for the brits: They speak english so they can't be bad guys, right?
7/21/2021 c23 Blaze1992
It started out interesting but the lack of having a MC or cast to focus on, made it hook far less. Then add on no grand final battle and them acting like the gaters from stargate, all in all while good and different I feel it could've been more.
I give it a 7 out of 10, also I am surprised he was woken up by dodgers instead of the Martian queen considering his mind.
It started out interesting but the lack of having a MC or cast to focus on, made it hook far less. Then add on no grand final battle and them acting like the gaters from stargate, all in all while good and different I feel it could've been more.
I give it a 7 out of 10, also I am surprised he was woken up by dodgers instead of the Martian queen considering his mind.
7/11/2020 c23 KrisB-71854
For the most part I enjoyed the fic. I liked the start of it. Once the humans get to space the only bad part was when they suddenly decide to mothball their fleet. This is after they had two hostile alien wars.
It made utterly no sense. With all that stuff about home rule, I'd have figured that system defense fleets would have been a thing. Even if they wouldn't have wanted to fund other system's defenses, they'd want to make sure that their system had the nice big space weapons and a good sized fleet.
For a long time humans went the turtle route here. That was a bit different.
Several folks have mentioned that the treaty with the Centauri didn't really make much sense. I figured you just did it for plot reasons. You want your big fleet not to be the public military. That rubbed me the wrong way. I disliked that they would have allowed all that.
You basically setup the space stations as trade ports which was nice.
The one bit that you really forgot about were the Centauri that had joined up with your group. You had entire worlds decide that it was nicer living under their rule and all that than their native politics. You may have written that it in, but totally forgot about it.
After reading this, those folks would have been a great view point. See an alien immigrant's view and how much they loved their new home especially after putting up with the former form of government.
Most of the rest was ok. It went fine until the Clark bit. I figured that you only brought him up to keep some of the folks from the original setting. That didn't need to happen. Or it could have happened and been far more effective.
You never did explain why they just didn't destroy any of those Vorlon jump gates that they came across or rebuild them all with their own.
I was mixed on you copying some of the Hamilton stuff. I didn't mind the Providers, but it was just missing something. Maybe it was because your setup was too nice for your humans. In the Hamilton books, the Adamist worlds weren't very nice places to live. The Edenist lived on self sufficient space stations and were all trade depots or helium mining.
Actually thinking about it, it would have been a bit more interesting if you actually went closer with the Edenist living in the space station bit for the bulk of the population.
The entire moving populations into other systems and all that seemed far too quick and easily done. That seemed like it should have have taken ages to setup the planets and all that. The was centuries worth of work that was pretty much handwaved with advanced tech.
I wondered why the heck that they didn't actually build a real Ring World. It took me awhile, but that wasn't want you meant. From the way you mentioned things it was merely a planet with some sort of orbital ring around it. Impressive for us, but meh.
When you were pulling out the Providers you weren't showing all the negatives to the aliens. We as readers got it, but they only saw the Humans getting neat First Ones Toys and not sharing.
It may have been better if Clark had come about because of economic collapse because of the Providers. Think Star Trek with Replicators, but things don't go nicely during the transition phase. A few decades later, you've got a nice civ, but during that changing times? Oh, hell.
You could have had human interests that really disliked the Providers, but couldn't do anything about them. They were too damn useful not to have. Everyone could see it basically destroyed their civ, but couldn't do anything about it as they were fine as long as their family had one.
The Providers could have been a great reason for the humans to have to turn inward instead of the aliens being mean and needy. Their entire civ has crashed and they are having to relearn everything.
On the plus side no one really died or anything... They all had food and all that. They were just now broke and no one felt making anything held any real value. For materialists, that was destroying their world views.
I didn't mind your civ adapting and removing/refiting their ships with their new fancy tech.
What annoyed me was you mentioning that tons and tons of designs were made and anyone could do this stuff at the toss of a hat. They were mining entire planets worth of matter.
The Centauri were of utterly no threat to them. You could have those Space Scouts having taken them out for a merit badge. Your John didn't need to be involved what so ever.
Any colony world with a population of a few billion could easily snap their fingers and a few hours have the personal ship of their dreams. Yes, your fleet sizes were stupidly small at that point. You had the humans going military or joining up the moment that there were any external threat. With your rapid nano tech learning, any kid could download and be trained as a combat engineer, pilot, and more before they were 13. Anyone from 16 on up could have easily been flying their own fully useful ship.
When you were mentioning re enactors, I was expecting them to take out the invading fleet before their actual military had the shot at it.
There was just that much of a difference between what they could play with verse what others could.
By the time that Providers came around, if I wanted to play command and conquer or homeworld with my friends, I could build AI fleets that were that size to have fun with each other.
I didn't mind your humans picking up and leaving there at the end. I'd have loved for that First One to have commented that this group was a real example of how they should have behaved. They left the first chance they could. They didn't play First One or help anyone other than maybe the Narn.
It was odd that they helped the Dilgar. One bit that you never explained was that one war master that got picked up by the mibari. She never showed back up. Hell neither did they. I can't think of any real good that they could have been other than being confused. You missed having their POV as total outsiders to al this. They just were poking their heads out and whoa the galaxy had changed.
For the most part I enjoyed the fic. I liked the start of it. Once the humans get to space the only bad part was when they suddenly decide to mothball their fleet. This is after they had two hostile alien wars.
It made utterly no sense. With all that stuff about home rule, I'd have figured that system defense fleets would have been a thing. Even if they wouldn't have wanted to fund other system's defenses, they'd want to make sure that their system had the nice big space weapons and a good sized fleet.
For a long time humans went the turtle route here. That was a bit different.
Several folks have mentioned that the treaty with the Centauri didn't really make much sense. I figured you just did it for plot reasons. You want your big fleet not to be the public military. That rubbed me the wrong way. I disliked that they would have allowed all that.
You basically setup the space stations as trade ports which was nice.
The one bit that you really forgot about were the Centauri that had joined up with your group. You had entire worlds decide that it was nicer living under their rule and all that than their native politics. You may have written that it in, but totally forgot about it.
After reading this, those folks would have been a great view point. See an alien immigrant's view and how much they loved their new home especially after putting up with the former form of government.
Most of the rest was ok. It went fine until the Clark bit. I figured that you only brought him up to keep some of the folks from the original setting. That didn't need to happen. Or it could have happened and been far more effective.
You never did explain why they just didn't destroy any of those Vorlon jump gates that they came across or rebuild them all with their own.
I was mixed on you copying some of the Hamilton stuff. I didn't mind the Providers, but it was just missing something. Maybe it was because your setup was too nice for your humans. In the Hamilton books, the Adamist worlds weren't very nice places to live. The Edenist lived on self sufficient space stations and were all trade depots or helium mining.
Actually thinking about it, it would have been a bit more interesting if you actually went closer with the Edenist living in the space station bit for the bulk of the population.
The entire moving populations into other systems and all that seemed far too quick and easily done. That seemed like it should have have taken ages to setup the planets and all that. The was centuries worth of work that was pretty much handwaved with advanced tech.
I wondered why the heck that they didn't actually build a real Ring World. It took me awhile, but that wasn't want you meant. From the way you mentioned things it was merely a planet with some sort of orbital ring around it. Impressive for us, but meh.
When you were pulling out the Providers you weren't showing all the negatives to the aliens. We as readers got it, but they only saw the Humans getting neat First Ones Toys and not sharing.
It may have been better if Clark had come about because of economic collapse because of the Providers. Think Star Trek with Replicators, but things don't go nicely during the transition phase. A few decades later, you've got a nice civ, but during that changing times? Oh, hell.
You could have had human interests that really disliked the Providers, but couldn't do anything about them. They were too damn useful not to have. Everyone could see it basically destroyed their civ, but couldn't do anything about it as they were fine as long as their family had one.
The Providers could have been a great reason for the humans to have to turn inward instead of the aliens being mean and needy. Their entire civ has crashed and they are having to relearn everything.
On the plus side no one really died or anything... They all had food and all that. They were just now broke and no one felt making anything held any real value. For materialists, that was destroying their world views.
I didn't mind your civ adapting and removing/refiting their ships with their new fancy tech.
What annoyed me was you mentioning that tons and tons of designs were made and anyone could do this stuff at the toss of a hat. They were mining entire planets worth of matter.
The Centauri were of utterly no threat to them. You could have those Space Scouts having taken them out for a merit badge. Your John didn't need to be involved what so ever.
Any colony world with a population of a few billion could easily snap their fingers and a few hours have the personal ship of their dreams. Yes, your fleet sizes were stupidly small at that point. You had the humans going military or joining up the moment that there were any external threat. With your rapid nano tech learning, any kid could download and be trained as a combat engineer, pilot, and more before they were 13. Anyone from 16 on up could have easily been flying their own fully useful ship.
When you were mentioning re enactors, I was expecting them to take out the invading fleet before their actual military had the shot at it.
There was just that much of a difference between what they could play with verse what others could.
By the time that Providers came around, if I wanted to play command and conquer or homeworld with my friends, I could build AI fleets that were that size to have fun with each other.
I didn't mind your humans picking up and leaving there at the end. I'd have loved for that First One to have commented that this group was a real example of how they should have behaved. They left the first chance they could. They didn't play First One or help anyone other than maybe the Narn.
It was odd that they helped the Dilgar. One bit that you never explained was that one war master that got picked up by the mibari. She never showed back up. Hell neither did they. I can't think of any real good that they could have been other than being confused. You missed having their POV as total outsiders to al this. They just were poking their heads out and whoa the galaxy had changed.
6/7/2020 c23 MalSer
Since tha final chapters are out i went back and re-read the entire story. Well done, sir!
Since tha final chapters are out i went back and re-read the entire story. Well done, sir!
6/6/2020 c23 
1FailedKeikaku
Huh had forgotten about this, now i have to go back and re-read it. Thanks for updating and making this complete, not many people actually finish a story they start.
1FailedKeikakuHuh had forgotten about this, now i have to go back and re-read it. Thanks for updating and making this complete, not many people actually finish a story they start.
4/17/2020 c21 reddir
This was a fun read. It had an interesting starting premise and you wrote enough to make it a satisfying exploration of the concept, pretty much all the way through to them being beyond challenge from any remaining race or group of races.
This was a fun read. It had an interesting starting premise and you wrote enough to make it a satisfying exploration of the concept, pretty much all the way through to them being beyond challenge from any remaining race or group of races.
7/5/2019 c13 Guest
I'm a bit disappointed you went with the Warlock Destroyer skipping over the iconic Nova Dreadnought and Omega Destroyer. Classic B5 ships.
I'm a bit disappointed you went with the Warlock Destroyer skipping over the iconic Nova Dreadnought and Omega Destroyer. Classic B5 ships.
7/4/2019 c10 Guest
Wow, I seriously doubt any Earth Government would negotiate such a treaty considering the position we were in. Giving up weapons and engine tech, limiting ship size and numbers? Crazy.
Wow, I seriously doubt any Earth Government would negotiate such a treaty considering the position we were in. Giving up weapons and engine tech, limiting ship size and numbers? Crazy.
7/4/2019 c6 Guest
Why did you write the government as so stupid after wars with ch'lonas? Evidence of two hostile species in a short space of time, would suggest the need for good sized military.
Why did you write the government as so stupid after wars with ch'lonas? Evidence of two hostile species in a short space of time, would suggest the need for good sized military.
2/10/2019 c21 WD
Epilogue Part 2?
Epilogue Part 2?