for aeternum abiit9/22/2012 c1 
98silver-nightstorm
I really like your writing style {the inclusion of little tidbits in these beautiful things} and it totally works for this fix along with the repeating of wordswordswords XDD Seriously though, love that! :D
98silver-nightstormI really like your writing style {the inclusion of little tidbits in these beautiful things} and it totally works for this fix along with the repeating of wordswordswords XDD Seriously though, love that! :D
9/22/2012 c1 642Abigail Belle
This was beautiful and so sad. It sent shivers up my spine. I loved the way you hinted at the way their relationship had been when Marlene and Alice were both alive and sane. There are so many lines here that I love, but I think my favourite was "the only thing she remembers is tying bows out of Droobles wrappers {she used to do that with Marlene, but she doesn't remember that part anymore - only that she knows how}"...
642Abigail BelleThis was beautiful and so sad. It sent shivers up my spine. I loved the way you hinted at the way their relationship had been when Marlene and Alice were both alive and sane. There are so many lines here that I love, but I think my favourite was "the only thing she remembers is tying bows out of Droobles wrappers {she used to do that with Marlene, but she doesn't remember that part anymore - only that she knows how}"...
9/20/2012 c1 91the lola
Oh my gosh, this was powerful. I loved the bracket thing, that was fabulous, I don't think I can quite get it right myself, if I'm honest, but you have it spot on. I love the contrasts of Marlene and Alice, they're just fantastic.
91the lolaOh my gosh, this was powerful. I loved the bracket thing, that was fabulous, I don't think I can quite get it right myself, if I'm honest, but you have it spot on. I love the contrasts of Marlene and Alice, they're just fantastic.
9/19/2012 c1 129Ralinde
Ah that was sad. :( Well written.
It was a bit awkward for me to read, because in my head!canon Alice and Marlene are sisters. XD So luckily for me, it wasn't graphic. I think you did a good in portraying the (lack of) emotions/feelings on Alice's part.
129RalindeAh that was sad. :( Well written.
It was a bit awkward for me to read, because in my head!canon Alice and Marlene are sisters. XD So luckily for me, it wasn't graphic. I think you did a good in portraying the (lack of) emotions/feelings on Alice's part.
9/16/2012 c1 inkteardrops
Oh wow, this is so sweet. You are such a talented writer. I adore the lines about being gone with the wind and such and I love how you write about Marlene being dead in a very innocent and sweet way, even though it is a very heavy topic. Beautiful! :)
Oh wow, this is so sweet. You are such a talented writer. I adore the lines about being gone with the wind and such and I love how you write about Marlene being dead in a very innocent and sweet way, even though it is a very heavy topic. Beautiful! :)
9/15/2012 c1 16Maloryx14archive
This is so sad, the ending especially. I like the explanation of the Droobles wrappers, and her memories returning after death.
16Maloryx14archiveThis is so sad, the ending especially. I like the explanation of the Droobles wrappers, and her memories returning after death.
9/14/2012 c1 131autumn midnights
I think you did a wonderful job with this. I don't think I've ever read AliceMarlene before, and I think you wrote it so well. I like that you tied in canon, with Marlene's death and Alice's going insane, and the way that you set this after their actual relationship was very original. I like all the brackets, actually, I think that gives this fic an almost freeverse-like sort of feel. I like the mention of Alice always hating Bellatrix, that's an original detail that I enjoyed seeing. I love your characterization of Alice as well, you've done a good job with writing her. The glimpses of their relationship that we saw were very sweet, also, I liked being able to know a little bit about them. Marlene being Alice's 'personal fireplace' was a really cute detail to include also. Great job!
131autumn midnightsI think you did a wonderful job with this. I don't think I've ever read AliceMarlene before, and I think you wrote it so well. I like that you tied in canon, with Marlene's death and Alice's going insane, and the way that you set this after their actual relationship was very original. I like all the brackets, actually, I think that gives this fic an almost freeverse-like sort of feel. I like the mention of Alice always hating Bellatrix, that's an original detail that I enjoyed seeing. I love your characterization of Alice as well, you've done a good job with writing her. The glimpses of their relationship that we saw were very sweet, also, I liked being able to know a little bit about them. Marlene being Alice's 'personal fireplace' was a really cute detail to include also. Great job!
9/14/2012 c1 186ProfessorSquirrell
Aww this is so sad. Interesting pairing. I like it and what you've done with it. "There's a boy who comes by..." is just so sad. Anything about those two kills me and this was beautifully written. Nice job!
186ProfessorSquirrellAww this is so sad. Interesting pairing. I like it and what you've done with it. "There's a boy who comes by..." is just so sad. Anything about those two kills me and this was beautifully written. Nice job!
9/11/2012 c1 14Selenehekate
Oh, poor Alice. It's always hard to lose a loved one. The emotions that you filtered through this story were really strong, but I found them sort of interrupted and lessened by all of the parentheticals. Maybe try to edit some of those out, because in my opinion, they interrupt the heart of the piece. But that's just my opinion :) Overall, great job!
14SelenehekateOh, poor Alice. It's always hard to lose a loved one. The emotions that you filtered through this story were really strong, but I found them sort of interrupted and lessened by all of the parentheticals. Maybe try to edit some of those out, because in my opinion, they interrupt the heart of the piece. But that's just my opinion :) Overall, great job!
9/8/2012 c1 65slightlysmall
An interesting take, especially to leave Frank out of the picture entirely. At first I thought he wasn't in the picture at all but if she lost her sanity within a year she must have already been married and possibly already have Neville. Your writing style is somewhere between prose and poetry and in this story especially it works as she loses her sanity.
65slightlysmallAn interesting take, especially to leave Frank out of the picture entirely. At first I thought he wasn't in the picture at all but if she lost her sanity within a year she must have already been married and possibly already have Neville. Your writing style is somewhere between prose and poetry and in this story especially it works as she loses her sanity.
9/4/2012 c1 46still kat
I love how haunting this is, especially the parts in the squiggly brackets, they remind me of poetry. That line, "{silly girl, those were never permanent}" is so sad and fits and is perfect. And that thing with the Droobles too, sad and haunting. Wonderful job.
46still katI love how haunting this is, especially the parts in the squiggly brackets, they remind me of poetry. That line, "{silly girl, those were never permanent}" is so sad and fits and is perfect. And that thing with the Droobles too, sad and haunting. Wonderful job.
8/29/2012 c1 397Fire The Canon
I found it interesting the pairing you chose for this. It was different, which made it interesting. You portrayed the emotions really well and it was great writing. I kind of got a little bit sad reading this :( Well done!
397Fire The CanonI found it interesting the pairing you chose for this. It was different, which made it interesting. You portrayed the emotions really well and it was great writing. I kind of got a little bit sad reading this :( Well done!
8/9/2012 c1 51cherryredxx
This was very sad. Good emotions here. Beginning with Marlene's death, moving to Alice losing her sanity and then finally dying herself, this whole story was just haunting.
51cherryredxxThis was very sad. Good emotions here. Beginning with Marlene's death, moving to Alice losing her sanity and then finally dying herself, this whole story was just haunting.