for Aincrad: My True World?8/22/2012 c1 
2Orion Weiss
Very good Idea...
Come on, write more!
I really want to know waht your imagination has to offer to this story!
And I want to know the things that even beaters don't know )
2Orion WeissVery good Idea...
Come on, write more!
I really want to know waht your imagination has to offer to this story!
And I want to know the things that even beaters don't know )
8/19/2012 c1 dragonsound
Well done, i like the idea for this. Presumably following chapters will be longer though. And now a question: Will you be accepting oc's for this fic?
thankyou.
Well done, i like the idea for this. Presumably following chapters will be longer though. And now a question: Will you be accepting oc's for this fic?
thankyou.
8/14/2012 c1 1Fimbu1vetr
OC better not be broken without a dammed good reason. Otherwise this will be rubbish.
1Fimbu1vetrOC better not be broken without a dammed good reason. Otherwise this will be rubbish.
8/11/2012 c1 Brillerai
the event is clear for anyone who has watched ep1...your char in there stuck doesn't make me for one wonder anything. i think you need to give more info. it feels like you're writing from any in-anime gamer's point of view at this point. dunno if any of this helps you
the event is clear for anyone who has watched ep1...your char in there stuck doesn't make me for one wonder anything. i think you need to give more info. it feels like you're writing from any in-anime gamer's point of view at this point. dunno if any of this helps you
8/3/2012 c1 6Kagehana.Tsukio
THIS SOUNDS SUPER INTERESTING! I am totally looking forward to any of your updates!
6Kagehana.TsukioTHIS SOUNDS SUPER INTERESTING! I am totally looking forward to any of your updates!
8/3/2012 c1 Guest
Great story, can't wait to continue reading this as a parallel to the anime.
Read on only if you wish to see me nitpick about word choice and grammar:
-when you mention the singular teacher as one of the persons the OC runs by, the pronoun used to refer back to this person should not be "their" (plural) but instead one of the singular pronouns "his" or "her".
-slight confusion (had to reread) about him stopping outside the city gates (physically) and then stopping his train of thought (mentally), perhaps a similar word would work better?
but great story!
Great story, can't wait to continue reading this as a parallel to the anime.
Read on only if you wish to see me nitpick about word choice and grammar:
-when you mention the singular teacher as one of the persons the OC runs by, the pronoun used to refer back to this person should not be "their" (plural) but instead one of the singular pronouns "his" or "her".
-slight confusion (had to reread) about him stopping outside the city gates (physically) and then stopping his train of thought (mentally), perhaps a similar word would work better?
but great story!
8/3/2012 c1 5PlainStoryTeller
Looks good so far, but the only problem I have is when he sees all the characters from SAO. It seems a little... too coincidental? I mean, if Kirito saw Asuna at the game store where he bought SAO , wouldn't recognize her in game? Same with Silica, Agil and Klein. It kind of draws away the feeling of meeting them for the first time. Otherwise, looks great so far, and I look forward to more.
5PlainStoryTellerLooks good so far, but the only problem I have is when he sees all the characters from SAO. It seems a little... too coincidental? I mean, if Kirito saw Asuna at the game store where he bought SAO , wouldn't recognize her in game? Same with Silica, Agil and Klein. It kind of draws away the feeling of meeting them for the first time. Otherwise, looks great so far, and I look forward to more.