for Magnus Terra Chronicles: Rise of the Dark King10/8/2012 c3 
1Hawthorness
Hey! ;P
Nice plot revelation and conflict presentation; the play of characters too are well-coordinated; the dialogues too weren't dull at all; the verbal tense is well-chosen and perfect; the descriptive words used, if not long, is soooo sufficient- you don't have to describe them very long, but I like the way you describe them ;P; I also have, if not problems, some misunderstandings on some of your phrases, since it's not coordinated (I mean, you know what I mean) and parallel; the cliffhanger too doesn't seem too exciting; it's also a disappointment for slow updates, though I know you're not writing for me...
Anyways, sorry if I'm a try-hard critique here. I just want to share my opinions...
1HawthornessHey! ;P
Nice plot revelation and conflict presentation; the play of characters too are well-coordinated; the dialogues too weren't dull at all; the verbal tense is well-chosen and perfect; the descriptive words used, if not long, is soooo sufficient- you don't have to describe them very long, but I like the way you describe them ;P; I also have, if not problems, some misunderstandings on some of your phrases, since it's not coordinated (I mean, you know what I mean) and parallel; the cliffhanger too doesn't seem too exciting; it's also a disappointment for slow updates, though I know you're not writing for me...
Anyways, sorry if I'm a try-hard critique here. I just want to share my opinions...
9/22/2012 c3 17LadyMercenary
Interesting plot and story, you have here! Great job! Update whenever you get the chance to!
17LadyMercenaryInteresting plot and story, you have here! Great job! Update whenever you get the chance to!