for Black Rock Shooter Stella's New Home8/4/2013 c6 Taido
Good chapter and I like how you mentioned Rothcol!
It'd be cool if you could work him into future chapters maybe as a reincarnation or something.
Good chapter and I like how you mentioned Rothcol!
It'd be cool if you could work him into future chapters maybe as a reincarnation or something.
5/23/2013 c6 
5Sonicfanx1
Okay, critic here. Beware, this review is going to be harsh.
Read the 6 chapters, it was below my expectations. It was readable, but there were grammar mistakes which were mostly punctuation. The story plot was okay...I haven't played the BRS: The Game yet, want to, so I can't really talk about that. I did notice however, that Rock and most of the other-people were VERY out of character.
They aren't supposed to have emotions and Rock is supposed to be the stotic, silent, lone-wolf kind of character.
Really, I give a thumbs up for story, a thumbs down for grammar and execution. Honestly, you have a great idea here, but it's ruined from OOCness, improper use of certain symbols (most authors use italics for thoughts), grammar (missing a few commas and semi colins here and there), and execution.
What I mean by execution is how you "made" the chapter. If it was more in depth on key aspects and explained more on other parts, it would have been above average. Instead, I get the feeling like this has been rushed. I don't like that feeling, it's freaking horrible!
For example: If you detailed chapter 1 more and detailed how Stella looked (don't expect me to know! I see every BRS as a loli, trench coat wearing, badass whose clothes are all black, including hair and has blue eyes with a flame coming out the left one) it would have been GREAT. I don't mind rewriting the first chapter for you...actually I kind of do, I'd feel guilty of showing off. Anyways, I believe Stella has a jetpack...
Also, questions, I did skim through the first few chapters a bit, but I have to ask, did Stella bring all her weapons and clothes from the 2034 Earth?
Sonicfanx1
P.S. Seriously, after criticising like...10 stories, I'm seriously tired of seeing the same old patterns. Bad grammar, usually bad story (good one in this case), and THE FREAKING OOCNESS! It gets annoyig really fast.
5Sonicfanx1Okay, critic here. Beware, this review is going to be harsh.
Read the 6 chapters, it was below my expectations. It was readable, but there were grammar mistakes which were mostly punctuation. The story plot was okay...I haven't played the BRS: The Game yet, want to, so I can't really talk about that. I did notice however, that Rock and most of the other-people were VERY out of character.
They aren't supposed to have emotions and Rock is supposed to be the stotic, silent, lone-wolf kind of character.
Really, I give a thumbs up for story, a thumbs down for grammar and execution. Honestly, you have a great idea here, but it's ruined from OOCness, improper use of certain symbols (most authors use italics for thoughts), grammar (missing a few commas and semi colins here and there), and execution.
What I mean by execution is how you "made" the chapter. If it was more in depth on key aspects and explained more on other parts, it would have been above average. Instead, I get the feeling like this has been rushed. I don't like that feeling, it's freaking horrible!
For example: If you detailed chapter 1 more and detailed how Stella looked (don't expect me to know! I see every BRS as a loli, trench coat wearing, badass whose clothes are all black, including hair and has blue eyes with a flame coming out the left one) it would have been GREAT. I don't mind rewriting the first chapter for you...actually I kind of do, I'd feel guilty of showing off. Anyways, I believe Stella has a jetpack...
Also, questions, I did skim through the first few chapters a bit, but I have to ask, did Stella bring all her weapons and clothes from the 2034 Earth?
Sonicfanx1
P.S. Seriously, after criticising like...10 stories, I'm seriously tired of seeing the same old patterns. Bad grammar, usually bad story (good one in this case), and THE FREAKING OOCNESS! It gets annoyig really fast.
5/5/2013 c6 15Spartan719
Not as long as I expected but good to know you're still continuing this story.
15Spartan719Not as long as I expected but good to know you're still continuing this story.
5/3/2013 c3 8Sky EXE
Konata Izumi...has an Other-World self...just like Mato with BRS (Rock)...
You, my friend, have just won the Internet!
8Sky EXEKonata Izumi...has an Other-World self...just like Mato with BRS (Rock)...
You, my friend, have just won the Internet!
5/3/2013 c5 Sky EXE
So... Mrs. Kuroi is the reincarnation of Sing Love?
You, sir, do not win the Internet. You win at LIFE! (That was meant as a compliment).
Please update soon!
So... Mrs. Kuroi is the reincarnation of Sing Love?
You, sir, do not win the Internet. You win at LIFE! (That was meant as a compliment).
Please update soon!
5/3/2013 c2 Sky EXE
Holy crap! Not only did you mix the BRS Game with the BRS Anime, but you also brought in Konata Izumi from Lucky Star as well! Instant Fave!
I like it so far, and I hope you continue with this great fic!
Holy crap! Not only did you mix the BRS Game with the BRS Anime, but you also brought in Konata Izumi from Lucky Star as well! Instant Fave!
I like it so far, and I hope you continue with this great fic!
3/25/2013 c5 Guest
please continue this
please continue this
3/11/2013 c5 A Jack Frost Guy
Guest ... Agreed.
Guest ... Agreed.
2/21/2013 c5 Guest
Well...this is an awkward family reunion.
Well...this is an awkward family reunion.
2/6/2013 c5 4HARZ X
muy bueno gracias por el capitulo y ademas me encanto deberías ver los míos para que me digas que opinas, yo se que es largo pero lo que me interesa es la opinión de la historias, por luego la acomodo pero eso es mas tarde, por favor ver mi historia y decirme que opinas por favor si DX TT
4HARZ Xmuy bueno gracias por el capitulo y ademas me encanto deberías ver los míos para que me digas que opinas, yo se que es largo pero lo que me interesa es la opinión de la historias, por luego la acomodo pero eso es mas tarde, por favor ver mi historia y decirme que opinas por favor si DX TT
2/4/2013 c5 19The Black Maiden
AASDFGHJKL;'ASDFGHJKASDFREFGTGHWESDXFCEW DSFCVRTFGYTGHUIJIKIOKLUJKGFH ! I. AM . FANGIRLING!
THAT SCENE BETWEEN MEFE AND LLWO WAS EVEN CUTER THAN YOU PROMISED! And you said you couldn't write romance. That was PERFECT!
I loved Mazuma's scene too! The line about the twins was funny...once I got it.
And Mrs. Kuroi being Sing Love's reincarnate. (I think we talked about that once.) Cool to see you used it here!
Write more! (With more MEFE/LLWO! I DEMAND IT!)
19The Black MaidenAASDFGHJKL;'ASDFGHJKASDFREFGTGHWESDXFCEW DSFCVRTFGYTGHUIJIKIOKLUJKGFH ! I. AM . FANGIRLING!
THAT SCENE BETWEEN MEFE AND LLWO WAS EVEN CUTER THAN YOU PROMISED! And you said you couldn't write romance. That was PERFECT!
I loved Mazuma's scene too! The line about the twins was funny...once I got it.
And Mrs. Kuroi being Sing Love's reincarnate. (I think we talked about that once.) Cool to see you used it here!
Write more! (With more MEFE/LLWO! I DEMAND IT!)
11/25/2012 c4 8The Kunoichi
The thought on STR's relationship with Mato was definitly interesting. I can't wait to see how Mato and co will deal with Stella and the others.
8The KunoichiThe thought on STR's relationship with Mato was definitly interesting. I can't wait to see how Mato and co will deal with Stella and the others.