for Lily Evans Fights First10/9/2012 c8 
3alix33
"She was in Hogsmead coming out of the Three Broomsticks, with James and a few others, when the Death Eaters attacked. They were using killing curses. The residents and students were mostly using stunning spells, she was using harsher methods. She was killing them. She used nothing dark but reducto to the head still killed, as did ice lance spells." - Well done, Lily. It was past time Someone from the light side took the fight to the Death Eaters properly.
"Voldemort had laughed and turned away, but a few people had noticed. Then she blinked and got up. She cast a bone break spell at his spine, followed by a reducto to his head, followed by an ice lance through his heart. She followed that up by casting reducto again." - OK, Lily cast those, but did they connect, or do some actual harm?
"There was mass chaos both Lord Voldemort and Dumbledore were dead. Someone had lived through the killing curse. That someone being a muggleborn sixteen year old made it even bigger news. Lily managed to steal the Elder Wand during all the chaos." - Yay! for Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior both being dead and Lily getting the Elder Wand.
"Dumbledore's portrait wanted to talk to her. He was upset that she had killed Voldemort and the other Death Eaters; he still believed that they could be rehabilitated." - I hope Lily tells that portrait to go and get knotted, if he ever had enough to knot, that is. Dumbles was forever offering people who never deserved it, second chances, while the people who deserved the seconds chances, like Lily's future son, never got any.
"Lily just laughed at him and said that while Dumbledore was an ex-lover of his Dark Lord, Lily had no such reason to leave the murdering bastard alive. He sputtered, and tried to do the twinkling, she just ignored him." - Way to go, Lily!
"Harry met and befriended Hermione at the age of seven. Lily was very happy about it. Hanging out at Harry's house exposed Hermione to a lot of things that she wouldn't normally be exposed to. With James and Sirius around teaching them how to prank, she loosened up. By the time they boarded the express Hermione no longer worshiped authority figures." - Yay! for Hermione's changed attitude regarding so-called authority figures.
"She had thought that Peter had become an alright person until he was found in a muggle hotel room. He had tried to obliterate memories from a woman he had raped and robbed, and instead cast the spell on himself until he passed out. Like Lockhart he had destroyed his mind, and would remain in a vegetative state until death." - Yay!
"Professor McGonagall had been so incensed at Dumbledore berating a child that she ordered his portrait to be quiet and only talk when specifically asked a question." - Yay! for that order.
"Since he had so easily been replaced, by someone who did it much better, Dumbledore fell into obscurity." - Yay!
3alix33"She was in Hogsmead coming out of the Three Broomsticks, with James and a few others, when the Death Eaters attacked. They were using killing curses. The residents and students were mostly using stunning spells, she was using harsher methods. She was killing them. She used nothing dark but reducto to the head still killed, as did ice lance spells." - Well done, Lily. It was past time Someone from the light side took the fight to the Death Eaters properly.
"Voldemort had laughed and turned away, but a few people had noticed. Then she blinked and got up. She cast a bone break spell at his spine, followed by a reducto to his head, followed by an ice lance through his heart. She followed that up by casting reducto again." - OK, Lily cast those, but did they connect, or do some actual harm?
"There was mass chaos both Lord Voldemort and Dumbledore were dead. Someone had lived through the killing curse. That someone being a muggleborn sixteen year old made it even bigger news. Lily managed to steal the Elder Wand during all the chaos." - Yay! for Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior both being dead and Lily getting the Elder Wand.
"Dumbledore's portrait wanted to talk to her. He was upset that she had killed Voldemort and the other Death Eaters; he still believed that they could be rehabilitated." - I hope Lily tells that portrait to go and get knotted, if he ever had enough to knot, that is. Dumbles was forever offering people who never deserved it, second chances, while the people who deserved the seconds chances, like Lily's future son, never got any.
"Lily just laughed at him and said that while Dumbledore was an ex-lover of his Dark Lord, Lily had no such reason to leave the murdering bastard alive. He sputtered, and tried to do the twinkling, she just ignored him." - Way to go, Lily!
"Harry met and befriended Hermione at the age of seven. Lily was very happy about it. Hanging out at Harry's house exposed Hermione to a lot of things that she wouldn't normally be exposed to. With James and Sirius around teaching them how to prank, she loosened up. By the time they boarded the express Hermione no longer worshiped authority figures." - Yay! for Hermione's changed attitude regarding so-called authority figures.
"She had thought that Peter had become an alright person until he was found in a muggle hotel room. He had tried to obliterate memories from a woman he had raped and robbed, and instead cast the spell on himself until he passed out. Like Lockhart he had destroyed his mind, and would remain in a vegetative state until death." - Yay!
"Professor McGonagall had been so incensed at Dumbledore berating a child that she ordered his portrait to be quiet and only talk when specifically asked a question." - Yay! for that order.
"Since he had so easily been replaced, by someone who did it much better, Dumbledore fell into obscurity." - Yay!
10/4/2012 c6 Cassandra30
Dudley would have changed after Harry saved his life. Now he will never be. It's Dumbledore she actually needed to get rid of as well as keeping Sirius the Secret Keeper.
Dudley would have changed after Harry saved his life. Now he will never be. It's Dumbledore she actually needed to get rid of as well as keeping Sirius the Secret Keeper.
10/4/2012 c4 Cassandra30
Way to go, Lily! However by limiting the Weasleys you removed the Twins whom your son really liked.
Way to go, Lily! However by limiting the Weasleys you removed the Twins whom your son really liked.
10/4/2012 c1 Cassandra30
Excellent idea for a story! I think Lily would have thought more of the consequences.
Excellent idea for a story! I think Lily would have thought more of the consequences.
10/1/2012 c7 alix33
"Last she found that the pensive was a Horcrux." - "Last she found that the pensieve was a Horcrux."
"If she hadn't of been scared about being late she would have immediately played a memory." - "If she wasn't scared".
"She then made it a point to walk the length on the train saying hello to people she was friendly with." - "the length of the train".
"Last she found that the pensive was a Horcrux." - "Last she found that the pensieve was a Horcrux."
"If she hadn't of been scared about being late she would have immediately played a memory." - "If she wasn't scared".
"She then made it a point to walk the length on the train saying hello to people she was friendly with." - "the length of the train".
9/25/2012 c6 Guest
Good work:)
Good work:)
9/24/2012 c6 3alix33
"She threw out some bird seed and then sat quietly and waited." - "birdseed" is one word.
"Finally a lone squirrel came out and Lily cast on it." - Did you perhaps mean to write: "Lily cast a spell on it"?
"She spent some time flying around and then wondered home." - "wandered home".
"The woods seemed to hold a lot more squirrels then she thought they would." - "hold a lot more squirrels than she thought".
"She had been lucky to find some rail road spikes near her old home," - "railroad" is one word.
"and then open it." - "and then opened it."
"Some of the things that snakes said about humans were funny, and it took all she could do not to laugh. One of the Slytherin students, a sixth year when she was in first year, had a snake that he took everywhere. The snake gave amusing commentary throughout the day. Lily knew that if she was in all his classes she would be in lots of trouble for laughing." - Well done on you poker face, in that case, Lily.
"She decided that the security would have been better if written instructions hadn't of been left in the first compartment." - "hadn't have been left".
"Most of the rest of the trunk is self evident," - "self-evident" gets hyphenated.
"If you will notice they look like pensive memories. Since pensive are very rare, you might not know this. There is a pensive;" - "If you will notice they look like pensieve memories. Since pensieves are very rare, you might not know this. There is a pensieve;".
"Please enjoy my last bequeath." - "my last bequest".
"The next morning they were awoke by the police." - "they were awoken".
"Lily was both sad and glad that Petunia was dead. She was glad because her only sister had died without Lily having to do it, and that she would never ever hurt a child." - I am glad for the same reason.
3alix33"She threw out some bird seed and then sat quietly and waited." - "birdseed" is one word.
"Finally a lone squirrel came out and Lily cast on it." - Did you perhaps mean to write: "Lily cast a spell on it"?
"She spent some time flying around and then wondered home." - "wandered home".
"The woods seemed to hold a lot more squirrels then she thought they would." - "hold a lot more squirrels than she thought".
"She had been lucky to find some rail road spikes near her old home," - "railroad" is one word.
"and then open it." - "and then opened it."
"Some of the things that snakes said about humans were funny, and it took all she could do not to laugh. One of the Slytherin students, a sixth year when she was in first year, had a snake that he took everywhere. The snake gave amusing commentary throughout the day. Lily knew that if she was in all his classes she would be in lots of trouble for laughing." - Well done on you poker face, in that case, Lily.
"She decided that the security would have been better if written instructions hadn't of been left in the first compartment." - "hadn't have been left".
"Most of the rest of the trunk is self evident," - "self-evident" gets hyphenated.
"If you will notice they look like pensive memories. Since pensive are very rare, you might not know this. There is a pensive;" - "If you will notice they look like pensieve memories. Since pensieves are very rare, you might not know this. There is a pensieve;".
"Please enjoy my last bequeath." - "my last bequest".
"The next morning they were awoke by the police." - "they were awoken".
"Lily was both sad and glad that Petunia was dead. She was glad because her only sister had died without Lily having to do it, and that she would never ever hurt a child." - I am glad for the same reason.
9/22/2012 c5 JandL4Ever
This is so great! Please keep going. What happens to james and lily? sirius and another character? remus? peter...?
This is so great! Please keep going. What happens to james and lily? sirius and another character? remus? peter...?