Just In
for Another Way To Look At It

3/3/2022 c1 Guest
Woah…plot twist!

That’s all I can say. It’s to good for me to comprehend.
9/24/2016 c1 7Junior BLD
The story was very good and enjoyable! I like the detail that you used to describe things.
2/2/2014 c1 3Silaya Arctic Prower
im havin a majorwtf moment heeeeeeer... but all in all i liked it
12/15/2012 c1 1SilverWolf1130
Good job
10/13/2012 c1 1Rose Pattern
Whoooaaa. Switched bodies? Awesome! Yet weird... I can't imagine Sonic flying and eating Mint candies and Tails running around chomping down some chilli dogs. Anyway... To the review!

SETTING: Mobius... Good ol' Mobius. I usually set my stories on Earth though, since they live on Earth in the games.

WORDS: This story has awesome describing words! No mistakes, nothing wrong. What I like in a story!

CHARACTERS: Sonic, you got his cocky, friendly, competitive personality all right! Perfect! Tails: He's good. But he's not THAT willing to beat Egghead. When he say that he'd kill Eggman for what happened to Sonic and all. - NOT A FLAME! Just some advice! I don't wanna be thought as a mean person. Amy Rose... Yeah. You got her perfectly! Just that she has some mood swings! And she is really like that in the games and all. Again... PERFECT!

All in all: Great story! I'd love to see more work like this! Bye!

10/8/2012 c1 43Hikareh
Gasp. Hikari’s here to review your story. Dun dun dun.

I don’t review that often, simply because my reviews are always super long and time consuming (because I’m long winded), but when I see someone who goes out of their way to ask for “awesome” reviews (I took that to mean constructive and thought out), then I usually reward those efforts. (Even if you DID self-plug on my story, but I forgive you. )

That being said, I usually only review one story per author (see reasons why above) and I picked this one because you said you refurbished it, which means that it SHOULD be free of technical errors, though I understand if a few slip through the cracks (says the reining Typo Queen), and everything should be clear and concise. I also chose this one because your others aren’t exactly my cup of tea (OCs and origin stories I don’t usually touch, for personal reasons), but don’t take offense to that. Keep doing what you’re doing; I’m sure the others are good too.

Now, a bit of a disclaimer here. What you will read here is constructive criticism, which means that it MIGHT hurt a little to see. I assure you that I do not mean for it to be hurtful or offensive; I just want to see you grow as a writer. :D I’ve been on both sides of the concrit process, so I understand if you hate me after I pick this thing apart. (Though I’d appreciate it if you didn’t hate me. It would make me sad. :C)

So, let’s get down to business, shall we? *rubs hands together*

Just for cohesiveness, when I mention a name here, I’m talking about the specific soul, not the body. Keep it clear. :3

PREMISE: The idea behind this is very original and well-thought out. It is a bit risky and very dangerous if not done well, because it can seem a bit slapdash if you don’t think it through properly, but in my humble opinion – and you can decide for yourself how much my opinion matters to you – you did very well with the idea behind this. The story was very effective as a whole: had a beginning, middle, and end, had an arc, and it went somewhere instead of stalling and telling the reader pointless information. I didn’t find myself being drawn in different directions and it held my attention. Good job on that.

The eye color thing was a bit clichéd, and it was a tad strange for Sonic to call Tails “big buddy.” I understand that you’re used to Sonic calling Tails nicknames (big guy, bud, kiddo, little bro, dude etc. etc.), but you need to take into account that you basically changed their whole past, including how they see each other. I realize that you explained this away by saying that Tails seemed younger than Sonic, but he still technically lived seven more years than Sonic, so it all seemed a bit strange to me. And, as to the eye color, I can let that one go because authors all over the Sonic community (myself included) overemphasize the eye colors, and it’s easy to fall back on something like that.

CHARACTERS: The characters were handled well, though I did have a rough time keeping them straight in my mind. I eventually wrapped my brain around it, and let me tell you, thinking about Amy having a crush on Tails was very bizarre. I loved it though. XD (Though, it kind of made me think that Amy only likes Sonic for his body, because she just chirped “Okay then!” when their personalities flipped. You might want to consider putting something in to fix this misconception.) All of that aside, the speech patterns were spot on, though Eggman was a tad too… eh… He was off a smidge. He’s a dramatic monologuer forever and ever amen, so the fact that he didn’t speak that much might be what threw his character off for me.

The fact that Sonic and Tails didn’t have much of a reaction to switching bodies may seem in character, but, as I sat here reading, I found myself wishing for more. I get that you were thinking of them as SONIC the super speed hedgehog and TAILS the high flying fox, but in your AU, they started as TAILS the super speed hedgehog and SONIC the high flying fox. I wish there was more of a reaction, especially because they can’t do what they’ve been able to for their whole lives anymore. Tails should be a bit depressed a not being able to run at the speed of sound and Sonic sad at not being able to fly on his own anymore. You didn’t get into their heads, which is fine because this is your first story, but as you progress as a writer, you need to keep that in mind. Sometimes, you need that added dimension to really SELL IT, ya know?

TECHINQUE: Your grammar and spelling were fantabulous. Thank you, so much. I’m so glad I didn’t have to slog through a deluge of careless mistakes. I saw that my compadre DanceDream all ready mentioned this, but I’m going to reiterate a bit. You used a few too many dialogue tags and they all pretty much had the names. Switch it up a bit for variety and to avoid being repetitive. Also, your first sentence doesn’t match the rest of the prose. The complex past tense of ‘had’ does not mesh with the simple ‘was’. Some of your sentences could be combined to make the whole thing flow a bit more, too.

There are a few holes that could be covered a bit more, and the two that come to mind immediately have to do with Amy. Mainly, her kidnapping was so sudden and out of left field, I was blindsided for a few seconds. The second one had to do with her daring rescue. A) She was in a cage – how did she get out and why didn’t she do it sooner? B) It says that she slammed in through the door when they never left the room she was trapped in. Stage management got off a bit there.

You could have also done a LITTLE bit more with the description on the body switching process. I liked the line about their voices melding and, in that line, I could tell that you were finally getting into that deeper mindset, but then you jerked back out again. Of course, I might just be nitpicking here, because it works fine without the extra description, just a thought.

Overall, a very very successful story. There are just a few things that /I/ would prefer, but, ya’know, opinions and all that. ; I enjoyed reading it, and the fresh twist you put on a very overdone idea made it very immersive and fun. I hope I didn’t offend you with my concrit here. c: Keep up the excellent work!

10/8/2012 c1 DanceDream
Now now, Sonic, no bashing the nerds. Nerds run the world, and they literally run yours. xD

Your wish is my command, my friend; if you hadn't figured it out, I saw your request. It made my day that someone went out of their way to ask ME to read their story. :) (I may not read some of your others, but please don't take it to offense. Your style and mine seem to differ somewhat, lol.)

This, however, I found interesting. I admit I was a bit skeptical at first. I mean, come on; the characterization freak in me was screaming in protest just because of the names! But, of course, it was supposed to be a little weird; Sonic and Tails have such different personalities that to switch them around is to practically create whole new characters!

I was a bit baffled why you had done this, but by the climax it made sense. It's a cool angle to go from, too; I never would have thought of it. The eye color changing was a neat touch, and it was funny how Amy managed to work out exactly who she was chasing after now. xD The dialogue is well-done (""Hey, Tails, do we really have to do the 'saving Amy' part?"" xD), your descriptions are promising ("As the light intensified, so did their screams, eventually melding into one voice." That had to be my fave, though the rest is good, too), your humor is great (""Kill us? Roboticize us? Or worse," He smirked. "Watch you attempt to hula dance?""), and your grammar and spelling are on par with some of the best authors on FFN, despite a couple technical errors that don't really mean anything. :)

The only thing that got me with this was that, after the switch, it was a little hard to picture the scene - who was talking and when. Even a little bit before the switch, it was a little tricky. I think it was the same confusion the characters themselves were experiencing; Sonic's in Tails's body and Tails is in Sonic's, and they were switched from normal in the first place and - well, you understand, I'm sure. :) Next time (or really any time), I would suggest using fewer "name tags" after dialogue (e.g. "said Sonic" or "exclaimed Tails") and trying a few "descriptive tags" (e.g. "said the hedgehog" or "exclaimed the two-tail," though these are some of the least colorful descriptions I've ever written, haha!). Those are things that don't change about the characters, and they add important description to boot. :) I hope I'm not offending you here with all this "constructive criticism" jibber-jabber, but it's part of my job as a reviewer, and... Well, you asked. ;)

All in all, a good read and very good for your first post! It provides a refreshing, different outlook on Sonic, Tails, and their friendship, which is something the Sonic fanfiction community desperately needs. (It's all the SAME, y'know?) Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing you improve! Happy writing! :D
10/4/2012 c1 5finallyexploded
Wow. Just wow.

The dialog was sparkling and hilarious. I give you a huge approval on this one. I don't really see room for improvement, so I'll just list my favorite moments here:

"Hey, Tails, do we really have to do the 'saving Amy' part?"
I love that scene- the humor in the reluctance...

Tails in disgust, Sonic in fear.
I also love this part. You really nail the character's traits down.

Eggman pretended to think for a second before replying,


AHAHAHAHA! This story is fantastic! Thank you for sharing your writing skills with .
9/5/2012 c1 21The Controlled Chaos Studios
I LOVE IT. I always love a story like this. Excpesilly when you kinda added my faverite pairing, Amy and Tails. Keep up the super awesome work my fellow author.
8/29/2012 c1 2Bluemist45
Wow, this is neat!
You should add another chapter to it, its an amazing concept!
8/29/2012 c1 5Kira The Mew
This is hiliarious! Can you make another chapter? I was laughing the whole time (well, except for when they almost got destroyed) If you make another chapter, can't wait for it!
Kira the Mew
8/27/2012 c1 8Gloomy Shadows
Really great job on this oneshot. Really in character and awesome to read.
Also very nicely placed and very well written. Really great job! I read lot's of stories that you have reviewed and I am happy you finally had gotten your account! Congratulations! Really nicely done. Instant favorite.
8/26/2012 c1 15LapseOfReason
Interesting how your avatar suits this one.

The story's idea is simple, yet so appealing. I like concepts that challenge canon view of things without actually conflicting with it. Hard to write, but always pleasant to read.

Love how you portrayed Amy here. Inconstancy of her love made me smile.

What confused me was the last part, where the hedgehog was called Tails and the fox was called Sonic. It was hard to picture the person who was talking or acting. Otherwise, the story is good.

Thank you for writing this.

- Qwisse.
8/26/2012 c1 9Cheezel1993
Hey hey you finally got an account, awesome haha :) I liked the idea behind this story, Sonic and Tails getting to be how they are today from a mind switch accident certainly was an interesting twist haha. Anyway, really good story :)
8/25/2012 c1 10Werehog20
Nice, you made your own account, bravo! Lol anyways, wow what an interesting One-Shot you have here, Tails being the original Sonic and Sonic being the original Tails?! Nice going! I'll be sure to keep an eye out on your stories!
16 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service