for Traveler2/3/2013 c6 KoiChoco
great chapter as always, so thank you quick question will Ash catch more Pokemon? you know to have a few surprise in the League. Anyways Thank You and Please uptade soon
great chapter as always, so thank you quick question will Ash catch more Pokemon? you know to have a few surprise in the League. Anyways Thank You and Please uptade soon
2/3/2013 c6 Guest
Good work, this is quick becoming my favorite Pokemon story. I think ash should add more status affliction into his battle style like hypnosis, will o wisp, toxic, confuse ray, which would help him take on stronger pokemon and make is battle style more methodical instead of the complete grind/slugfest style he has now.
As for pokemon, ash needs one of the upper echelon pokemon to really go far in the league. Ones like gyarados, dragonite, ect... I was a bit dissapointed he did not go after dratini in the safari zone.
Good work, this is quick becoming my favorite Pokemon story. I think ash should add more status affliction into his battle style like hypnosis, will o wisp, toxic, confuse ray, which would help him take on stronger pokemon and make is battle style more methodical instead of the complete grind/slugfest style he has now.
As for pokemon, ash needs one of the upper echelon pokemon to really go far in the league. Ones like gyarados, dragonite, ect... I was a bit dissapointed he did not go after dratini in the safari zone.
2/3/2013 c6 Guest
You know, this is one of the best Ash adventure stories I have read. You don't stick to the 'acceptable' pokemon (charizard, bulbasaur, squirtle, pickachu). I am really glad to see a story where Ash uses different pokemon.
I am curious about your next pokemon choice. If he is going to Seafoam, i would expect some kind of ice pokemon. Yet Dewgon/Seal is not acceptable since he already has a Seadra. Jynx are definitely not my favorite pokemon and Ash already has a physic pokemon anyway, so i don't think he will catch that. Articuno is, of course, not possible either because Ash's team is not powerful enough to catch one. I am not really sure what you are planning to get him unless you get him a dragonair/dratini. Always a powerful choice. Though you did mention him looking through the pokedex, so maybe you will not use a Kanto native. My suggestion would either be Piloswine or Snorunt. I figure you might want to evolve snorunt into its ghost form.
Anyway keep up the great work. I hope to see an update soon if possible and more good ideas coming from you.
You know, this is one of the best Ash adventure stories I have read. You don't stick to the 'acceptable' pokemon (charizard, bulbasaur, squirtle, pickachu). I am really glad to see a story where Ash uses different pokemon.
I am curious about your next pokemon choice. If he is going to Seafoam, i would expect some kind of ice pokemon. Yet Dewgon/Seal is not acceptable since he already has a Seadra. Jynx are definitely not my favorite pokemon and Ash already has a physic pokemon anyway, so i don't think he will catch that. Articuno is, of course, not possible either because Ash's team is not powerful enough to catch one. I am not really sure what you are planning to get him unless you get him a dragonair/dratini. Always a powerful choice. Though you did mention him looking through the pokedex, so maybe you will not use a Kanto native. My suggestion would either be Piloswine or Snorunt. I figure you might want to evolve snorunt into its ghost form.
Anyway keep up the great work. I hope to see an update soon if possible and more good ideas coming from you.
2/3/2013 c6 Lukas321
Hey good chapter :), seemed a bit shorter than the others and as you seem to be covering a journeygym per chapter I don't think you should go any shorter than this. I am prepared to wait those few extra days for a chapter. Still really enjoying it though and hope you keep up the good work!
Hey good chapter :), seemed a bit shorter than the others and as you seem to be covering a journeygym per chapter I don't think you should go any shorter than this. I am prepared to wait those few extra days for a chapter. Still really enjoying it though and hope you keep up the good work!
2/3/2013 c6 ChaosTheVoid
Haha! Take that Gary! Where's his car and cheerleaders? Dazed is awesome. Did she make a pendulum? Looking forward to Cinnabar island gym. Is it going the follow the game and just be a building or inside the volcano suspended over lava like the anime?
Haha! Take that Gary! Where's his car and cheerleaders? Dazed is awesome. Did she make a pendulum? Looking forward to Cinnabar island gym. Is it going the follow the game and just be a building or inside the volcano suspended over lava like the anime?
2/3/2013 c6 
12Rebel Energy
Wow great chapter! I like the fact he has pokemon that he never got apart for Plume of course, from the show. I like all the different personailties. I hope he does catch one or two more pokemon but anyways loved it!
12Rebel EnergyWow great chapter! I like the fact he has pokemon that he never got apart for Plume of course, from the show. I like all the different personailties. I hope he does catch one or two more pokemon but anyways loved it!
2/3/2013 c6 Kyukon
Thanks for the update.
Aww, is that all for Gary's battle? I am disappoint. Despite the fact that I usually find battle scenes boring, I was looking forward for the battle. And add to that he withdrew in the middle of a battle trainer? What a sore loser. I hope the next battle will be more exciting.
Keep up the good work and update soon.
Thanks for the update.
Aww, is that all for Gary's battle? I am disappoint. Despite the fact that I usually find battle scenes boring, I was looking forward for the battle. And add to that he withdrew in the middle of a battle trainer? What a sore loser. I hope the next battle will be more exciting.
Keep up the good work and update soon.
2/3/2013 c6 hugp1x
Good, good. You've got training down pretty well, though I'd like to see some emphasis on non-battling training; diet, mental discipline, control etc.
As for battles though, I'm not wholly convinced. Moves like tailwind should be ignored if you can't even explain its battle applications. In that case though, you should have had her kick up a strong wind and ride the currents.
As for trainers yelling out 'dodge', I'd think that's pretty redundant. In fact, unless the trainer wants to implement a specific, unique strategy, they shouldn't need to say much at all to a well trained pokemon.
Finally, I think pokemon physiology should play a major part in battles too. Example muk is a ball of sludge, so fire punch, while still damaging, should maybe cause magmar to get his hand stuck.
Also, why was magmar not counted as one of his remaining pokemon in the gym battle? It seemed well enough to keep going yet you made it sound like dazed was his last pokemon. Just a little confused.
Good, good. You've got training down pretty well, though I'd like to see some emphasis on non-battling training; diet, mental discipline, control etc.
As for battles though, I'm not wholly convinced. Moves like tailwind should be ignored if you can't even explain its battle applications. In that case though, you should have had her kick up a strong wind and ride the currents.
As for trainers yelling out 'dodge', I'd think that's pretty redundant. In fact, unless the trainer wants to implement a specific, unique strategy, they shouldn't need to say much at all to a well trained pokemon.
Finally, I think pokemon physiology should play a major part in battles too. Example muk is a ball of sludge, so fire punch, while still damaging, should maybe cause magmar to get his hand stuck.
Also, why was magmar not counted as one of his remaining pokemon in the gym battle? It seemed well enough to keep going yet you made it sound like dazed was his last pokemon. Just a little confused.
2/3/2013 c6 StarwindX
Awesome. Maybe give him a Golduck next? One of my favorite water Pokemon, mostly because of the Psychic attacks/speed it has.
Great chapter. Loved him beating Gary. Curious wether you'll have anime characters like May/Dawn in the future though..
Awesome. Maybe give him a Golduck next? One of my favorite water Pokemon, mostly because of the Psychic attacks/speed it has.
Great chapter. Loved him beating Gary. Curious wether you'll have anime characters like May/Dawn in the future though..
2/3/2013 c6 680 Jordinio 0
Right.
Fuschia isn't a region, Kanto is the region, Fuschia is just one of the cities in Kanto. Make sure to stop doing that it's annoying.
The thing you need to work on most, is not just rushing your battles. You get tired of writing them and just throw down a bunch of paragraphs of how the fight went, and then come back to us at the end. We as readers want to know whats happening, as it is the battles are barely more than infomercials.
You also tend to describe many of the attacks very very wrongly, or blandly. Bulbapedia has a list of every attack and how they've been used in the anime so you can see how they are performed, use it.
Stop with all the mentions of Tm's, just call them new moves.
When do you plan on evolving Nidorino? And what about Magmar? Are you going to have it evolve into Magmortar? It would be a great boon to him when he goe up against the extremely powerful trainers, and considering you tell us every chapter about him losing to random nobodies? He needs it.
Not to mention the kind of firepower Magmortar can unleash, especially since it can turn both arms into large cannons. It can unleash double of each attack thanks to it, so Magmortar could fire 2 hyper beams and shit.
Decent enough chapter, still got along way to go to make it better though.
680 Jordinio 0Right.
Fuschia isn't a region, Kanto is the region, Fuschia is just one of the cities in Kanto. Make sure to stop doing that it's annoying.
The thing you need to work on most, is not just rushing your battles. You get tired of writing them and just throw down a bunch of paragraphs of how the fight went, and then come back to us at the end. We as readers want to know whats happening, as it is the battles are barely more than infomercials.
You also tend to describe many of the attacks very very wrongly, or blandly. Bulbapedia has a list of every attack and how they've been used in the anime so you can see how they are performed, use it.
Stop with all the mentions of Tm's, just call them new moves.
When do you plan on evolving Nidorino? And what about Magmar? Are you going to have it evolve into Magmortar? It would be a great boon to him when he goe up against the extremely powerful trainers, and considering you tell us every chapter about him losing to random nobodies? He needs it.
Not to mention the kind of firepower Magmortar can unleash, especially since it can turn both arms into large cannons. It can unleash double of each attack thanks to it, so Magmortar could fire 2 hyper beams and shit.
Decent enough chapter, still got along way to go to make it better though.
2/1/2013 c5 KoiChoco
Great story and Great chapter, I really like it and I like Ash's pokemon but maybe you can bring one o two of Ash's original Pokemon or maybe the Eevee of the Rocket? anyways thank you and please uptade soon
Great story and Great chapter, I really like it and I like Ash's pokemon but maybe you can bring one o two of Ash's original Pokemon or maybe the Eevee of the Rocket? anyways thank you and please uptade soon
1/30/2013 c1 Lukas321
Just completely re-read this and am completely hooked, again :). How this doesn't have way more reviews staggers me. In a way though I kind of like it. It seems like i'm part of an exclusive group whom gets to enjoy this amazing story together without hundreds of people reviewing "amaz3ba115 plz updte rite away!11!". I suppose your spectacular chapter length puts them off! That being said said I hope you gain more and more recognition as this journey progresses and PLZ UPDTE RITE AWAY!11! :)
Just completely re-read this and am completely hooked, again :). How this doesn't have way more reviews staggers me. In a way though I kind of like it. It seems like i'm part of an exclusive group whom gets to enjoy this amazing story together without hundreds of people reviewing "amaz3ba115 plz updte rite away!11!". I suppose your spectacular chapter length puts them off! That being said said I hope you gain more and more recognition as this journey progresses and PLZ UPDTE RITE AWAY!11! :)