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10/2/2012 c3 AnimeAddict2000
9/30/2012 c3 3KUKAIxAMU
9/30/2012 c4 33Pika-Thunder
"He was much, much more handsome that Tadase, Tadase looked like the ugly dick comparing to Ikuto ."

This was in chapter 3. I'm pretty sure you meant to type ugly duckling...XD

So, I actually really like this story! The spacing is still internally murdering me, but it's better than the first chapter.

{"Apparently Hinamori Amu" He smirked saying her name " wants to get to know you and Rima more so she invited you to her house , and one of her friends is visiting too."}
It should be "Apparently, Hinamori Amu," He smirked, saying her name, "would like to get to know Rima and you more, so she invited you to her house. Apparently, one of her friends is visiting as well."
You have to put commas when you are breaking up the quotation marks. Also, you use a comma before the FANBOYS words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so). Lastly, that sentence was run-on, so I divided it into two sentences.

For the most part, it's really good! PM me for any questions :)
9/30/2012 c1 Pika-Thunder
So, I read the first chapter. I liked it, but I noticed some grammatical errors I'll point out.

Okay, so what bothered me the most is your use of an extra space before a comma and quotation mark.
{A beautiful blonde girl sat in her room , her gaze fixed on the pages of the book she was holding as if she was seeking peace and relaxation in the words she was reading , trying to escape from the ruckus going on downstairs . } You should have put:
"A beautiful blonde girl sat in her room, her gaze fixed on the pages of the book she was holding, as if she was seeking peace and relaxation in the words she was reading, trying to escape from the ruckus going on downstairs."

Also, in that sentence, you left out a comma after holding. Make sure to fix the space issue in future chapters!

Anyway, I enjoyed! Time to read the rest!
9/29/2012 c4 2xDreamStalker
omg! this is really interesting!
please hurry with the next chapter!
9/27/2012 c4 5Moemura
Good Story! i really like how you made rima a sister of ikuto and utau, that was a good idea! (o) i would like previews at the end of every chappie!Also is Lulu going to be in this story? :O because i saw her name but i didn't see her i skipped a paragraph, im not sure.i'd like you to add her to the story if you can, because not alot of fanfics have them and i feel bad for Lulu! :(
Please Update when you can!
9/27/2012 c4 4Ayame-knight
Who the girl please dont tell me it saya i hate her
9/21/2012 c3 Rimahikoluver191
Awesome story I love the story line and I would love to read the next chapter to see what happens next!:D
9/20/2012 c3 take a bow
Great story, I really do love it!
But as a note of constructive criticism, could you perhaps get into the habit of not putting a space before your punctuation? It makes everything look really messy and it does make it a little harder to read. Or in the least, fix the summary so you have correct capitalisation and punctuation and you will definitely get more readers and alerts.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
9/20/2012 c3 1Ern Estine 13624
interesting can't wait for more.;D
9/15/2012 c2 AnimeAddict2000
thts so hilar i cant stop lauging! plz continue soon xD
9/14/2012 c2 3KUKAIxAMU
9/10/2012 c1 XxAyanexX
please continue this story:D
9/9/2012 c1 AnimeAddict2000
plz continue its so...i cont even find a word to describe it! so plzzzzzzzzz continue and update in like tomorrow or somthing!
9/6/2012 c1 j. Aide-chan
I do not really like, I love it , it is great please continue. 3
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