for The Havoc side of the Force5/2 c2 Aaiko marchel
The suspense builds beautifully with the vivid description of the ritual and the stakes, making the protagonist's imminent action feel urgent and thrilling. The balance between humor, detailed world-building, and impending danger keeps the reader engaged.
The suspense builds beautifully with the vivid description of the ritual and the stakes, making the protagonist's imminent action feel urgent and thrilling. The balance between humor, detailed world-building, and impending danger keeps the reader engaged.
4/25 c24 BeyondTheDive
Fantastic thus far, can't wait to read more! Hope you're doing better in these chaotic times
Fantastic thus far, can't wait to read more! Hope you're doing better in these chaotic times
4/24 c24 ffntfy456
I finished this a while back and just realized I never left a review. The story was quite fun. Seeing Harry mess up the established order made me laugh.
Just in case you ever get a hair to finish this, I've followed. Would love to read more.
I finished this a while back and just realized I never left a review. The story was quite fun. Seeing Harry mess up the established order made me laugh.
Just in case you ever get a hair to finish this, I've followed. Would love to read more.
4/10 c21 kerikheuer.01
pulling trillions out of the galactic economy wouldn't do anything because there's at least trillions if not quadrillions of sentient beings in the Star wars Galaxy so that works out to much less than one credit per person
considering the world population of 9 billion humans and the average tech IPO is 20 to 30 billion today you can see my point
Elon musk spent $5 per human on the planet to buy a shitty social network company that he completely destroyed
that's not going to break an economy at all
pulling trillions out of the galactic economy wouldn't do anything because there's at least trillions if not quadrillions of sentient beings in the Star wars Galaxy so that works out to much less than one credit per person
considering the world population of 9 billion humans and the average tech IPO is 20 to 30 billion today you can see my point
Elon musk spent $5 per human on the planet to buy a shitty social network company that he completely destroyed
that's not going to break an economy at all
2/24 c4 Hoodra
Of course it's Him. Why am I not surprised to see the best droid in the galaxy far, far away?
Of course it's Him. Why am I not surprised to see the best droid in the galaxy far, far away?
2/21 c24 Guest
Really miss this
Really miss this
2/21 c15 Dannewyrda
This harry is a scumbag . Definitely not how he was in lore. Now you might envision yourself as such . But youre just fanfic writing loser
This harry is a scumbag . Definitely not how he was in lore. Now you might envision yourself as such . But youre just fanfic writing loser
2/19 c24 Zavod
This story is wonderfully written.
I can only hope it shall be continued some day...
For those wondering, like me, if it was worth reading a incomplete (and potentially abandoned) story, the answer is definitely: yes!
This story is wonderfully written.
I can only hope it shall be continued some day...
For those wondering, like me, if it was worth reading a incomplete (and potentially abandoned) story, the answer is definitely: yes!
11/22 c24 I love this fic
I use ao3 now but every so often I come back just to read this again. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this fic. You probably won’t read this but I really appreciate the time and effort you put into this. It’s honestly spectacular and you have a beautiful brain to have come up with this. Thank you for all your hard work!
I use ao3 now but every so often I come back just to read this again. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this fic. You probably won’t read this but I really appreciate the time and effort you put into this. It’s honestly spectacular and you have a beautiful brain to have come up with this. Thank you for all your hard work!
1/17 c24 Guest
I really do love this story. Just finished my first re-read in years. I hope someday you might return to it.
I really do love this story. Just finished my first re-read in years. I hope someday you might return to it.
1/15 c15 ScooPeeBoo
I had to pause halfway through to leave a comment: it would be better if, in this case, you used fewer pronouns like "she" and didn’t shy away from using names. When I got distracted and had to return to the chapter, I found myself struggling a bit to figure out who was talking to whom. My main point is that it’s problematic when you mention a name once and then constantly fall back on "she said," "she replied," "she asked," and so on.
As for the story itself, it’s still intriguing, though the intensity has dropped somewhat. Perhaps this is largely due to the shortcomings of machine translation from English to my language. Some scene transitions feel a bit jumbled. A tip: try describing the setting first before diving into the characters' thoughts. I noticed you’ve done it the other way around here. And maybe the lack of a clear antagonist plays a part in this. Right now, it feels more like a slice-of-life tale—“the carefree wizard’s adventures in the Star Wars universe.”
It was more engaging when Harry was with Anakin—there was a tangible conflict with the Jedi wanting to take Anakin. Now that conflict has vanished, leaving only a background, somewhat mundane plot with pirates hunting Harry. Adding more Sith and gradually escalating the conflict could enhance the story. It feels like there was one Sith, he was killed off, and that was it.
That said, I want to note that the quality has improved since the beginning—it was just a wall of text back then, which really dampened my desire to read. But I was too lazy to search for something else, so I kept going, haha. Overall, I can see the development, but there’s definitely room for growth.
I had to pause halfway through to leave a comment: it would be better if, in this case, you used fewer pronouns like "she" and didn’t shy away from using names. When I got distracted and had to return to the chapter, I found myself struggling a bit to figure out who was talking to whom. My main point is that it’s problematic when you mention a name once and then constantly fall back on "she said," "she replied," "she asked," and so on.
As for the story itself, it’s still intriguing, though the intensity has dropped somewhat. Perhaps this is largely due to the shortcomings of machine translation from English to my language. Some scene transitions feel a bit jumbled. A tip: try describing the setting first before diving into the characters' thoughts. I noticed you’ve done it the other way around here. And maybe the lack of a clear antagonist plays a part in this. Right now, it feels more like a slice-of-life tale—“the carefree wizard’s adventures in the Star Wars universe.”
It was more engaging when Harry was with Anakin—there was a tangible conflict with the Jedi wanting to take Anakin. Now that conflict has vanished, leaving only a background, somewhat mundane plot with pirates hunting Harry. Adding more Sith and gradually escalating the conflict could enhance the story. It feels like there was one Sith, he was killed off, and that was it.
That said, I want to note that the quality has improved since the beginning—it was just a wall of text back then, which really dampened my desire to read. But I was too lazy to search for something else, so I kept going, haha. Overall, I can see the development, but there’s definitely room for growth.