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7/9/2017 c7 Tendershipping4ever
It is starting to get interesting now.
4/19/2013 c1 SereHime
...
huh?
O.o ?
1/25/2013 c6 Guest
No he dosent deserve yugi!
1/17/2013 c5 Guest
Please update soon
10/13/2012 c4 Keep it rollin
XD i LOVE your openers and enders!

main topic:
1. i would really appreciate the use of a period if not anything else. "
2. the grammar is not too obstructive, but it is something to take notice of. do you have a Beta Reader? they are very useful!
3. Love how you did a play on your words with the meeting between Atemu and Yuugi-boy, (XD sry. just had to say that!) as well as yugi and aken's first meeting. if Sennen's agree with the ishtar proposal i cant wait to see how Atemu and Yugi will properly meet!
4. love how you are progressing the plot, and the use of your language(any language really) in the work( with a little dictionary at the end of course :D) i would really like to see more usage of that
OVERALL!: nice work so far, few stumbles literary wise, but awsome plotting so far
10/6/2012 c3 11Doragon-chan
Dora: Atemu is a bit of a jerk isn't he.
Misha: You know you didn't want to say jerk. You wanted to say a-
Dora: Misha!
Misha: What?! You did.
10/5/2012 c3 20BlueStar29
Not bad. Grammar and punctuation need work, but I'm getting into it. But I gotta ask: why do you (and others,as I've noticed) reverse the apostrophes and quotation marks? Quotation marks are used for exactly that ... quotes! It is really nerve wrecking not being able to tell what is being said and what is being thought.

I tell you this in hopes that you will change your habits. Other than that, the story is good
10/5/2012 c3 littlerostte
lol i droped out of my chair now rofl
10/2/2012 c2 keep it roll'in
pretty nice exposition and stating plot . i look forward to how you progress with this story. also it is true that some of us were getting a bit bored of the redundant similarities of character and quick to pace lovey scenes. i applaud you on you individuality! KEEP UP THE AWSOME WORK! :D
9/22/2012 c2 littlerostte
well it very interesting it leave you wanting more
9/10/2012 c1 Atemu
cant wait to read more :D i really love this story

please update soon
9/7/2012 c1 11Doragon-chan
this looks interesting.

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