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6/18/2019 c48 Kingkong101
This is shit
2/26/2019 c48 4halo4hire
In the manga he wasn't able to land one hit even with the rasengan and she restricted to one finger, so three hits? With out her holding much back? Oh I'm sure she wasn't going all on on him but she also didn't place restrictions here so I'm still counting it as an improvement.
9/24/2018 c22 SaboteurSupreme
*cough* 42 *cough*
7/5/2018 c3 halo4hire
To be fairly honest, the bloodline you gave nar here actually makes more sense then just him "being able to heal fast (faster using kurama's chakra)". I mean kushina AND Karin could use chakra chains and since both are uzus, yet nagato and nar can't, I'm left wondering if it's a female only trait. If so, lame. Then again hashirama could grow bushes yet tobirama and Tsunade can't. Wonder if mito could make chains...
7/5/2018 c2 halo4hire
I kinda feel like I've been dropped into a story with no beginning. Your prologue left much to be desired, this chapter seemed to only skim the details, this isn't even counting the multiple grammatical errors. I don't know what the rest of the story is like but this and the last chapter could use expanding and proof reading. English not being your primary language isn't an excuse to not come back when you have a better grasp on the language and reading over it, ( it is a rather complex language, yeah?) Your putting this story out there for everyone to see so you want to put forth a good effort to make sure it's all squared away, so readers like me can enjoy your spin on the story and flamers can't grab onto anything more than the stupid unimaginative "your story is bad, you should feel bad". In closing, more details and explanations to the plot, proof reading for grammar and attention to detail and you can be a great writer. I hope I wasn't insulting in my criticism, as I was only trying to help, so if I was, I apologise as it wasn't my intention; I am merely a humble man who loves to read.
2/27/2018 c2 Guest
floor to ground, ground to flour
this mistake has turned into a cliche' in may non fiction
1/19/2018 c3 Guest
This is a good story until it's not, which is usually every other sentence, because of a misspelled word or incorrect word that very, very, very, VERY easily be corrected by getting a beta reader or simply reading it yourself.
10/5/2017 c21 Guest
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTH
9/14/2017 c5 3A Trash Mob
You mentioned naruto having 'trained' with his mom before he graduated but he still seems abysmal notwithstanding the claw things. I would have expected at least high chuunin low jonin taijutsu considering how lang she has been training him.
9/14/2017 c3 A Trash Mob
Whats with the whole, 'The Ramen' and 'The Log' thing? I mean i think i get the idea of what its supposed to be for but why, and where did it come from?
6/3/2017 c2 Guest
Greetings!
I am on the first chapter, and I think the A/N in the beginning is too informative. It may give a bad vibe to the story.
Do what you feel is right.
Thank you
5/3/2017 c2 Guest
I'm stopping at the idiotic hair color. I can already see this is one of the bad cliche fics. Please die instead of filling up this site with anymore nonsense.
3/17/2017 c11 2TheCrazyTwins
Best typo everbut you know what would happen if some thongs got out in the open." I am laughing so hard right now. Great story by the way.
3/17/2017 c11 TheCrazyTwins
Best typo everbut you know what would happen if some thongs got out in the open." I am laughing so hard right now. Great story by the way.
1/18/2017 c3 4Azaira
Not bad so far, but could use a little work in grammar.

And claws? instead of chains? It might seem cool, but they are so much weaker... the chains are versatile, powerful, and can extend a large distance, capable of capture or destruction within range.

Claws... can be used to climb. So can chains, but shinobi can do that anyways. Claws can scratch and pierce. So can chains. Claws... look cool? Chains can just do so much more. This is more of a disappointment.

I'd be fine if Naruto could change its appearance with practice, though they usually do so in the form of chains. But you limited that to a single form. Naruto could buy claw gauntlets to do basically the same thing and make them indestructible with seals. Unlimited chains capable of restraining a biju? Versus claws? Yea...
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