for Mando'ade6/26/2013 c1 Typh'ika
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I think I love you, vode...
Kandosi work here.
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I think I love you, vode...
Kandosi work here.
12/24/2012 c7 
89Count Morningstar
Okay, this was pretty good chapter. Kinda brief, but I understand why since it is filler. But the important thing is we learned a bit about Saara's backstory, and that's one of the things this story has been needing. The character interaction was good to. Keep up the good work. :)
89Count MorningstarOkay, this was pretty good chapter. Kinda brief, but I understand why since it is filler. But the important thing is we learned a bit about Saara's backstory, and that's one of the things this story has been needing. The character interaction was good to. Keep up the good work. :)
12/5/2012 c6 Count Morningstar
Wow, I did not think I would have time to read this story today. Anyway, one little mistake I'd like to point out is that in chapter three you referred to HK as HK-47 instead of HK-50. You might want to go back and correct it. Other than that though, this is so far a fairly good story. You have an interesting cast of characters, and you did a good job of introducing them. There are a couple of things I'd like to suggest though. The first is that I felt like the first two chapters could've been just one chapter. The second suggestion is that you might want to do a chapter fairly soon that takes a break from the action. It feels just a little too fast-paced to me. Plus a chapter like that would give you a chance to develop the characters a bit more. Other than that, you're doing a pretty good job.
Wow, I did not think I would have time to read this story today. Anyway, one little mistake I'd like to point out is that in chapter three you referred to HK as HK-47 instead of HK-50. You might want to go back and correct it. Other than that though, this is so far a fairly good story. You have an interesting cast of characters, and you did a good job of introducing them. There are a couple of things I'd like to suggest though. The first is that I felt like the first two chapters could've been just one chapter. The second suggestion is that you might want to do a chapter fairly soon that takes a break from the action. It feels just a little too fast-paced to me. Plus a chapter like that would give you a chance to develop the characters a bit more. Other than that, you're doing a pretty good job.