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5/31/2015 c5 Rayfe
You should finish. This is very good.
9/12/2013 c5 ThatOneGuy44
I really enjoyed reading this! Their interactions were sweet, their behavior and the plot in general was believable, and I like your writing style a lot, and the story flows really well. Here's hoping that there is someday more!
7/5/2013 c5 Datten
This is the best VG fanfic ever.

Period.
1/2/2013 c5 Guest
please don't stop writing this story is great
10/25/2012 c5 AzureAzoth
I love your story, and style of writing. Can't wait for the rest.
10/1/2012 c5 eddy
fantastic story waitini on the next
9/19/2012 c5 Lolwut8898
And I'll hold you to the rest of this wonderful story.
9/14/2012 c5 7XxCRITICxX
Aww aeris is already moving back? Well, I haven't seen a new vgcats story in a while, so I say yay!
9/14/2012 c4 XxCRITICxX
Haha they're suspicious of their parents when their parents should be suspicious of them!
9/14/2012 c3 XxCRITICxX
Aww...
9/14/2012 c2 XxCRITICxX
Oh rainbow six is a good game!
9/14/2012 c1 XxCRITICxX
Haha "you two can sleep in the same room, but KEEP THE DOOR OPEN
9/13/2012 c5 3Deep Sea Anchor
Alright, I read this all in one morning and I must say, I am impressed.

What I would first like to point out are your characters interactions. They're some of the best I've seen on this website. That isn't a compliment I'd give out lightly, so my hat's off to you.

Next I would like to point out the plot itself. The idea is new, this alone is commendable. But what makes it better is that you've presented your dramatic moments it in such a way as to waylay the sensation of self-pity. The moments feel genuine, and I would attribute that to the fact that you don't turn things into something they aren't, but at the same time you give each moment enough significance to propel your characters into what they need to do.

Now the relationship that you've placed between Leo and Aeris is much lighter than many of the other stories here. Something I've discussed with some of the other writers is that we each seem to have our own little "versions" of Leo and Aeris, stressing certain personality traits to suit our stories. I like your versions. I'd like to say that we haven't seen them like this before and once again the change is refreshing.

Now if I was to make a recommendation, it would be that when you have a character speak and then you describe the actions of another character, unless what they're doing is connected to the speech or thought, separate the two lines. Doing otherwise can lead to a bit of ambiguity as to who is doing what.

Outside of that, both your format and grammar is indeed commendable. It flowed nicely and the image came smoothly to my mind, with rare interruptions.

You obviously have talent. This is a fine piece here. I believe that's enough said.
9/12/2012 c5 2Rocket117
Some of the stuff gets confusing as it's a little to fast, and I end up reading back a couple of lines. Most likely that's just me though (I tend to read fast and skip important things)
Other then that, It's a great story, good transitions and, I really shouldn't have to say this but there are so many stories with bad grammar, this one has great grammar, awesome use of words and synonyms and all that jazz.
I happily await the next chapter good sir.
9/12/2012 c1 IeatDeadpeople
Great job, Indeed. You have a good idea with this and i really like where this is going. The story is straight to the point, no fancy dialogs or events, i like that. Simple things work the best, remember that. I'm looking forward for the next chapter. Wish you good luck and an open mind while writing.

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