for A Summer Between Two2/17/2013 c9 
12twilight guardian
Well, it was nice. I think the language is honestly too strong to keep a K rating. I would also encourage you to invest in a spell-check. Also, some writing tips I would give would be to re-read this story in a few months and notice if there are any things you would make corrections to. After all, the more you write the better you become. It's always a good thing to correct work, even if it's completed. I would also encourage you to read aloud and record pauses in your speech with commas and other types of grammatical works. Reading it aloud can really be a benefit until you get an instinct for things.
I also don't think it's really necessary to break up the story into two separate fictions. If the story isn't done, it's not done. It would be fine if it's a sequel to a finished story arc, but if you're going to be continuing the story elsewhere, I don't understand the point.
Still, it was quite a good go for your first fanfic, so congratulations! Here's to writing more and improving your work! It's nice to see someone on the site willing to get critique.
12twilight guardianWell, it was nice. I think the language is honestly too strong to keep a K rating. I would also encourage you to invest in a spell-check. Also, some writing tips I would give would be to re-read this story in a few months and notice if there are any things you would make corrections to. After all, the more you write the better you become. It's always a good thing to correct work, even if it's completed. I would also encourage you to read aloud and record pauses in your speech with commas and other types of grammatical works. Reading it aloud can really be a benefit until you get an instinct for things.
I also don't think it's really necessary to break up the story into two separate fictions. If the story isn't done, it's not done. It would be fine if it's a sequel to a finished story arc, but if you're going to be continuing the story elsewhere, I don't understand the point.
Still, it was quite a good go for your first fanfic, so congratulations! Here's to writing more and improving your work! It's nice to see someone on the site willing to get critique.
12/8/2012 c3 Celestia's Paladin
Tai... you needs some new friends, ones that aren't a bunch of perverts.
Tai... you needs some new friends, ones that aren't a bunch of perverts.
11/5/2012 c9 12Vigatus
I think Mimi needs a smack to the head, Tai needs a kick in the ass and Sora needs a boot to the vagina.
12VigatusI think Mimi needs a smack to the head, Tai needs a kick in the ass and Sora needs a boot to the vagina.
11/5/2012 c9 MissMarii
Great! I love it! But I dont like Sora! And Taichi is so stupid ): I hope everything is gonna been okey between Mimi and Taichi. See you in the next story! 3
Great! I love it! But I dont like Sora! And Taichi is so stupid ): I hope everything is gonna been okey between Mimi and Taichi. See you in the next story! 3
10/22/2012 c7 MissMarii
Next, Next, Next, Next! \o/ Love this chapter, like always, I will waiting for the next! :D
Next, Next, Next, Next! \o/ Love this chapter, like always, I will waiting for the next! :D
10/4/2012 c6 MissMarii
Excellent chapter! I was surprised with the fact that Sora maybe love Taichi, I didnt expect that. I really like this chapter, so I'm waiting for the next cap! So please updated soon
Excellent chapter! I was surprised with the fact that Sora maybe love Taichi, I didnt expect that. I really like this chapter, so I'm waiting for the next cap! So please updated soon
9/20/2012 c5 MissMarii
Great! Like always I love this chapter!
Great! Like always I love this chapter!
9/19/2012 c4 ines
one word: AMAZING!
one word: AMAZING!
9/18/2012 c4 MissMarii
Oh Thanks for the chapter, it really was funny, I cant wait for the date!
Oh Thanks for the chapter, it really was funny, I cant wait for the date!
9/16/2012 c3 Kaname Langley
Wanna more!
Wanna more!
9/14/2012 c1 MissMarii
I like this couple! Are so cute! Please continue updating!
I like this couple! Are so cute! Please continue updating!