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5/15/2014 c7 Popthepuff
Oh, that was short. That saddens me. :c
Anyways, in all seriousness, I've really enjoyed this little saga you've been writing. I said Fairy Dance of Death is my favorite SAO ff, and that hasn't changed, but as a collective, this series definitely comes second.
I though Kawahara had really potential writing about non-clearer characters-though he derped and made them all Kirito-centric. Ah well, I still enjoyed them, and thought Red-Nosed Reindeer was one of the best chapters. That aside, I liked that you've written about them, and have written them as likable, believable characters. I love the interactions they have with the main story (Kirito running from Camilla way back was top lol stuff, and their friendship with Diabel made his death more impactful than in canon). I noticed a few canonical technical errors, like teleport crystals appearing earlier than they should, and I think you described the Anneal blade as black or described Kirito getting Elucidator earlier, along with his coat. Still, those don't really matter, I've really enjoyed reading this series. I look forward to seeing more of their adventures, interactions with canon characters, etc, and to see them getting out of SAO in the end. Whether or not they have anything to do with the story after that (like becoming one of those SAO players who went to Alfheim), is of course up to you. I'd still enjoy reading it, so hope you continue writing this (and FDOD, of course). Thanks. :D
11/10/2013 c7 all forms of fluff
Having read the three stories as they happened cronologicaly I can only say that this was both a great begining and ending to the Duo's time on SAO. I can't really see them as having another adventure inless they are part of the boss raid when Kirito, or maybe they are one of the brave 300 who were captured when they were loged out. Of cours the captured senerio would be exceedingly creepy and the couple would be seperated so it would really only be Seiji's POV. Any way I was just leting you know that I have enjoyed the stories. They were short and sweet, even with the whole death and capture thing. The Duo are great bit charactes, you should feel proud of creating them. I guess thats it so once again. Thank you for the stories.
5/2/2013 c7 1Burnished Angel
Love it
3/17/2013 c1 ImmaneuelKanter
Yeah. Unraveling is a much better opening for these characters.
2/28/2013 c7 Dead Turtle
So, is this canon or not to the main fics starring them?
1/2/2013 c7 3Vellaen
Wonderful story! Kadyn and Camilla are quite a pair, and I've no problem reading OC-centric stories as long as the characters are believable and interesting. SAO is a prime target for such characters, as well, since we meet only a bare fraction of the 10,000 souls trapped inside. There are too many untold stories to count.

Loved the cameos by the canon characters, of course. Everyone felt spot-on, right down to the camaraderie of Klein and his mates in Fuurinkazan. And the implication was subtle, but I would assume we're meant to think Kirito is who found and sold Agile Vengeance via Argo.

I know you've since written more stories starring these OCs, and I can't wait to read them!
12/3/2012 c7 19AKAAkira
Now, what can I say about this one?

I like that it's pretty humble. I think most of the thing with OCs is that tend to overwrite canon stories just so they could be included, so I'm really glad this fic didn't take that route and was okay settling for a small story - which was no less inspiring, I might add.

Hm, guess it's time to read more stories with Camilla and Kadyn...
10/7/2012 c7 12Nauro
Good, but Unraveling was better paced and had a better defined beginning and ending.
9/27/2012 c7 Yukatado
Awesome. I really love it.

If you keep writing them like this, I'll definitely keep reading.
9/20/2012 c7 1Ningy0
Your works are epic. Love this story too, now stop making everyone else look bad. No wait maybe one more, or two...
9/18/2012 c7 Truenikos
Well now, I've read this story, and The Unraveling, and I must say, your writing ability is truly stunning. You write an extraordinarily compelling narrative with equally extraordinary characters. I can say this with confidence because my mind has dwelled on your characters and their tale on and off for the past two days - they are very memorable. (Also, as the kids would say, "mad props" for creating a female character who is very strong in her own right, one that does not necessarily require a male anchor for her own value and characterization.) Also, your use of the shared storage mechanic was exceedingly clever.

I could find no fault with the mechanics of your grammar or literary technique.

Thus, the only thing I can offer as far as useful critique would fall squarely in the realm of subjective opinion. Assuming that one of the primary themes of this work is a husband's desperate struggle to save his wife, I would point out two areas of the work that could be improved.

First, Kadyn's dealings with Argo in chapters 3 and 4. These slightly relaxed and comical scenes are a sharp contrast from a distraught Kadyn in ch. 2 and the first part of 3. Chapter 5 is when the desperate quest resumes. As Kadyn rushes to save his wife in 5 and 6, the fact that he spent so much of that time in 3 and 4 without any sign of distress really makes for an inconsistent mood. It serves to weaken the narrative somewhat, considering that, to his knowledge, Camilla could die at ANY moment.

In hindsight, I feel it would have been advantageous to write that scene with a more emotional Kadyn. Alternatively, I really think that the offending scenes could probably be stricken altogether. That would keep the pace very fast and suspenseful, and, in addition, the fact that Kadyn is going in without a new rare dagger adds to the excitement of it. The dagger itself - for all the build up for it - didn't seem to add a whole lot of value to the narrative.

Of course, I'm no college professor, so those suggestions remain squarely in the realm of the subjective. The work as it is remains peerless fanfiction and you should be proud of your work here. If joy could be measured it would be said that your story has given me 14 cubic liters of it. Thanks for your hard work.
9/17/2012 c7 EnigmaticVagabond
Hello again! Great story. Everything about it was very well executed. The length was pretty good. It was long enough to tell a decent story while concise enough to not be a heavy read. Your characters and their characterizations were lovable, and I loved the contrast between the two.

One thing that I had a little bit of a problem with was the distribution of the plot itself. Although you length was good, it seemed like it ended a little abruptly. Sure, the trip back to the surface would have been trivial with Klein's guild and the two of them, but it would have been nice if there was a bit more about how they got back instead of wrapping it up so quickly.

In all, I loved your story and the characters you made. I'm normally a little skittish about reading stories with OC's in them, but I'm really glad I read yours :)

Hope SAO inspires you a bit more!

-EV
9/17/2012 c7 k31tw1nd4v
Well then, this is good. The characteristic is good and believable. The depth of despair your char Kadyn feel when he thought he lost his wife is...moving. Very moving.

I enjoyed this fic Very Much. I really want to read their adventure on this game if you want to write it, but understand if you don't want to mke a sequel, or even prequel to show their growth.

Keep the good work. Sorry if I don't login to review, but I forgot my pass, and need to check it at my Big Book of Password at home, later.

Thank you. Peace Out.
9/17/2012 c6 12Catsy
Hello TK, I'm replying here since I can't reply to you directly. Thank you for your comment! Your timing is good; I just published the 7th and final chapter of this story. :)

While I'm here, to EnigmaticVagabond: thank you as well! Regarding Agile Vengeance, I was basing it not only on Argo's reputation for always seeming to know or be able to get what her customers need, but on the real-world tendency of game developers to create items that encourage players to experiment with otherwise underpowered builds. It is indeed a little convenient, but I hope that you'll find that it is not OP and enhances the story rather than undercuts it.
9/17/2012 c6 Tk-mr
Great work! Keep it going?
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