for Her grey green eyes9/25/2012 c2 
6Falling without You
I like it so far. Again not sure what my problem is, but the commas and the periods just bug me when they are out of place. Its a good plot line, maybe have a flash back for Angel in the next chapter.
Falling without You
6Falling without YouI like it so far. Again not sure what my problem is, but the commas and the periods just bug me when they are out of place. Its a good plot line, maybe have a flash back for Angel in the next chapter.
Falling without You
9/23/2012 c2 Weird-Ally-Ilikesuperheroes
That means her parents are dead right? Well, I love this story! Great job!
That means her parents are dead right? Well, I love this story! Great job!
9/23/2012 c2 5SladeRavenFan
You have some real grammar issues. I'd advise you to take up Tterit's beta offer. Also, reviewing your own story is against the rules. You just wanted more reviews, since there's no need to 'check it' at all. People review if they want to. If it didn't work, fanfiction would've said so.
And your character is turning out to be a Mary Sue. Really, the Titans wouldn't react like that to a little girl. You're making her the typical Sue. Drawn out eye descriptions, making them just 'irresistably' sad, being forgiven by the Titans even after hurting one of them, and having powers they can't control. As well as making Raven pity them and help them, and relating to the others.
Sorry to be harsh, but it's the truth.
5SladeRavenFanYou have some real grammar issues. I'd advise you to take up Tterit's beta offer. Also, reviewing your own story is against the rules. You just wanted more reviews, since there's no need to 'check it' at all. People review if they want to. If it didn't work, fanfiction would've said so.
And your character is turning out to be a Mary Sue. Really, the Titans wouldn't react like that to a little girl. You're making her the typical Sue. Drawn out eye descriptions, making them just 'irresistably' sad, being forgiven by the Titans even after hurting one of them, and having powers they can't control. As well as making Raven pity them and help them, and relating to the others.
Sorry to be harsh, but it's the truth.
9/15/2012 c1 Weird-Ally-Ilikesuperheroes
Are you going to continue this story cuz I want to see what the Titans say...
It's good, very nice.
Are you going to continue this story cuz I want to see what the Titans say...
It's good, very nice.
9/15/2012 c1 37rewind route
Errr...this is really sweet and very good, but there were a few errors, like when you said
And she didn't with the little girl still in her arms. You meant did it, didn't you?
If you ever need help, I'm a beta, but I doubt you need one, this is pretty good.
Just always make sure to proofread, even though it's super boring.
But nice job!
37rewind routeErrr...this is really sweet and very good, but there were a few errors, like when you said
And she didn't with the little girl still in her arms. You meant did it, didn't you?
If you ever need help, I'm a beta, but I doubt you need one, this is pretty good.
Just always make sure to proofread, even though it's super boring.
But nice job!