Just In
for The Unraveling

11/2/2019 c20 1Asters
i love this
1/11/2017 c20 Belthazor2
Very well written!
2/2/2016 c20 fiverrain
I really enjoyed this - the characters felt real and believable, as did the events of their first weeks in the game. I seriously got into this and had a lot of fun reading it, so thanks for writing it! :)
12/30/2014 c14 Guest
kirito you antisocial ass
12/30/2014 c9 Guest
damn kirito's hogging the cool sword
12/29/2014 c5 Guest
technically they can have sex
looks awkwardly with twitching eyes at asuna and kirito in chapter 16.5
12/29/2014 c3 Guest
(lol wait until kayaba trolls)
12/20/2013 c1 Evelhundrege
Interesting OCs. I expect great things from this.
11/8/2013 c20 all forms of fluff
A damn fine story. The two OCs seemed like real people compared to the fantastical anime/manga quality of the characters in the cannon material. Granted the story is ment for entertainment for teenagers to adults and needs some aspects of MMORPGs being glossed over in favor of making the story more 'fun' to watch. That being said this particluar story could have had a few more action sceans, or maybe some more game mecanic descriptions, if only to flesh out your version of SAO which might not be vastly different then what little is mentioned in the source material. Then again there is two other stories with these characters in them so maybe you do get around to it. This story seemed to be an introduction of the Camilla & Kadyn, and in that sence you have suceeded. SO I will thank you for this story as it was a good read, and I am off to catch The Red Valkyrie. Untill then Thank you for the story.
8/22/2013 c20 Guest
Great story. My only complaint is the Kadyn hasn't really done much compared to Camilla
7/23/2013 c20 3skywiseskychan
Fun little story. I really rather enjoyed it.
7/23/2013 c17 skywiseskychan
I just have to comment, I love the bit about good UI if not being a death trap. That was hilarious.
4/30/2013 c20 bobbo
one of the most disturbing things about Kawahara's story is the implications of the demographics that would be playing. it's probably mostly kids.

also you have a damn good fic here.
4/30/2013 c6 bobbo
you write terror well.
4/8/2013 c20 22ndsly
You have a talent for writing Fanfiction. Every fic of yours I've read has been more like expansions of canon then fanfic. I loved the way you gave life to this otherwise unscripted area, the way it flows into canon elements makes it seamlessly blend.

That said, I did have one small issue. I engyed the story, but it feels more like slice of life/intro then a story. It has most the proper elements, but it doesn't feel complete in and of itself. I think what hurt it most is we never actually so the final transformation that made these two people(which you did a marvelous job depicting them as realistically as possible) go from resting in a safe zone to pulling their armor back on. We know why, but there's something lost in it. It feels like there could have been more then a detailed summary. As is it just doesnt seem to cap the ending like it could.

These effects are downplayed, and in the long veiw unimportant, because there is a sequel up. Few are going to worry at the end to this story when they can just jump into the next.

Good work.
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