for Coming of the Ancients3/25/2013 c3 The God-Emporer of Mankind
Also is there gonna be the Master Chief since UNSC discovered to prolong their short lives to centuries?
Also is there gonna be the Master Chief since UNSC discovered to prolong their short lives to centuries?
3/25/2013 c4 The God-Emporer of Mankind
This chapter was very interesting but with SA humans have Reclaimer status i think that is a extremely bad idea because they do not deserve it unlike the UNSC do. Also when i was reading this shouldn't UNSC humans have access to HardLight shield and weaponry and better technology since they discover most of the Forerunner artifacts, Installation and the Ark?
This chapter was very interesting but with SA humans have Reclaimer status i think that is a extremely bad idea because they do not deserve it unlike the UNSC do. Also when i was reading this shouldn't UNSC humans have access to HardLight shield and weaponry and better technology since they discover most of the Forerunner artifacts, Installation and the Ark?
3/25/2013 c2 Superemopowerz
I agree with you GUST SA human should not have Reclaimer status and as for the Quarians yea im also in agreement with you should not have the "New Race Package."
I agree with you GUST SA human should not have Reclaimer status and as for the Quarians yea im also in agreement with you should not have the "New Race Package."
3/25/2013 c3 Superemopowerz
I have a question since humanity progress that far with forerunner technology shouldn't they have access to HardLight technology and faster slipspace drives?
I have a question since humanity progress that far with forerunner technology shouldn't they have access to HardLight technology and faster slipspace drives?
3/18/2013 c4 Guest
Well that clears things up a bit wonder how the systems alliance will deal with the fact that there are two human factions that have been through things that they haven't been through it wouldn't surprise me if they started demanding the unsc to share technology well screw that the so called first contact war in 2157(2993 in the military calendar ) was over before it began and was forced to scrap two dreadnoughts and the bitterness after the war gave rise to Terra Firma and Cerberus which are critical of the alliance and see it as nothing more than apologists for the council and I'm not surprised if a Cerberus mole was on one of the alliance ships at instillation 08 and informed the illusive man of the fact that there humans that answer to the citadel and oni will see this as their mission to get the alliance away from the council and into the neo-covenant and they would place agents in the alliance military the parliament which they would make sure pro-unsc members that would advocate closing their embassy on the citadel are elected and to further things would place agents inside Cerberus and Terra firma if they fail to infiltrate the alliance. I would have to agree with world wanderer the SA has done nothing that makes them worthy of the mantle or the status of reclaimer they have kissed the ass of the council for the past seven years so if the unsc was so inclined to help them it would be waste of resources to help what is essentially a neutered version of themselves. Really did you fall into the"ooh poor quarians you got bullied by the big bad council we'll forget you did something bad and give the "new race package'" trap, they got what they deserved they thought they wouldn't be punished for their action and putting the galaxy in peril and the unsc and, in extension the neo-covenant should not reward races that do something foolish that endangers the galaxy but its your call. Like world wanderer suggested don't make the unsc buddy buddy with the alliance at the start in the realm of galactic politics some distrust is okay and there will be citizens in the alliance who are unhappy with the government and would leave for unsc space damaging the alliance's credibility plus the alliance and citadel diplomats believe that they could put an end to the war between the unsc and the neo-covenant and the covenant loyalists tough luck don't they realize they want all humans dead the unsc would tell them that doesn't matter where they originated their fair game to covenant loyalists.
Well that clears things up a bit wonder how the systems alliance will deal with the fact that there are two human factions that have been through things that they haven't been through it wouldn't surprise me if they started demanding the unsc to share technology well screw that the so called first contact war in 2157(2993 in the military calendar ) was over before it began and was forced to scrap two dreadnoughts and the bitterness after the war gave rise to Terra Firma and Cerberus which are critical of the alliance and see it as nothing more than apologists for the council and I'm not surprised if a Cerberus mole was on one of the alliance ships at instillation 08 and informed the illusive man of the fact that there humans that answer to the citadel and oni will see this as their mission to get the alliance away from the council and into the neo-covenant and they would place agents in the alliance military the parliament which they would make sure pro-unsc members that would advocate closing their embassy on the citadel are elected and to further things would place agents inside Cerberus and Terra firma if they fail to infiltrate the alliance. I would have to agree with world wanderer the SA has done nothing that makes them worthy of the mantle or the status of reclaimer they have kissed the ass of the council for the past seven years so if the unsc was so inclined to help them it would be waste of resources to help what is essentially a neutered version of themselves. Really did you fall into the"ooh poor quarians you got bullied by the big bad council we'll forget you did something bad and give the "new race package'" trap, they got what they deserved they thought they wouldn't be punished for their action and putting the galaxy in peril and the unsc and, in extension the neo-covenant should not reward races that do something foolish that endangers the galaxy but its your call. Like world wanderer suggested don't make the unsc buddy buddy with the alliance at the start in the realm of galactic politics some distrust is okay and there will be citizens in the alliance who are unhappy with the government and would leave for unsc space damaging the alliance's credibility plus the alliance and citadel diplomats believe that they could put an end to the war between the unsc and the neo-covenant and the covenant loyalists tough luck don't they realize they want all humans dead the unsc would tell them that doesn't matter where they originated their fair game to covenant loyalists.
3/18/2013 c4 
6Achaewa
Just read your four chapters and i'm just going to say that it was highly entertaining. A fresh idea and nice characters. So i hope you see this story to the end as it would be a shame if it wasn't finished.
Though one criticism. There are quite a bit of spelling errors, not so much that you can't read a sentence, an example is that you spelled Rachni. "Ranchi."
There are also some grammatical errors, though only minor. All these problems could easily be fixed with by rereading.
Though enough of that. I enjoyed your story and i hope to see more of it. Keep up the good work and good luck :-)
6AchaewaJust read your four chapters and i'm just going to say that it was highly entertaining. A fresh idea and nice characters. So i hope you see this story to the end as it would be a shame if it wasn't finished.
Though one criticism. There are quite a bit of spelling errors, not so much that you can't read a sentence, an example is that you spelled Rachni. "Ranchi."
There are also some grammatical errors, though only minor. All these problems could easily be fixed with by rereading.
Though enough of that. I enjoyed your story and i hope to see more of it. Keep up the good work and good luck :-)
2/10/2013 c2 Axcel
"... in a day transported the ship one thousand five hundred light years to another object of similar build."
That right there should tell you how freaking big a forerunner destroyer is, how great it's mass is, etc.
It took the Citadel less than a second to make the same trip through a relay. :D ha ha! screw you Reapers! (Although, considering their mission, they'd ironically help humanity rebuild, seeing prehistoric humans as successful protectors of life before the Flood came and therefore a major asset; which we'd accept, if only to shoot the Reapers in the back later for being omnicidal maniacs).
"... in a day transported the ship one thousand five hundred light years to another object of similar build."
That right there should tell you how freaking big a forerunner destroyer is, how great it's mass is, etc.
It took the Citadel less than a second to make the same trip through a relay. :D ha ha! screw you Reapers! (Although, considering their mission, they'd ironically help humanity rebuild, seeing prehistoric humans as successful protectors of life before the Flood came and therefore a major asset; which we'd accept, if only to shoot the Reapers in the back later for being omnicidal maniacs).
2/10/2013 c1 Guest
You know, High Charity was actually a forerunner Dreadnaught and some forerunner ships were logged at being a freaking THOUSAND KILOMETERS in size...though, I guess that counts as a mobile battle station or a literal fleet carrier rather than ship...you get my point.
The Council is screwed...oh and the Ecumene Council is gonna have a lot of ass-kissing to do cus I HIGHLY doubt that humanity, whatever time-period, would not have told the Forerunners "hey, there's a freaky virus thing trying to eat us, and it's infecting a number of your worlds; thought you might like to know".
I'm sure the Ecumene pulled a Citadel and dismissed that claim.
You know, High Charity was actually a forerunner Dreadnaught and some forerunner ships were logged at being a freaking THOUSAND KILOMETERS in size...though, I guess that counts as a mobile battle station or a literal fleet carrier rather than ship...you get my point.
The Council is screwed...oh and the Ecumene Council is gonna have a lot of ass-kissing to do cus I HIGHLY doubt that humanity, whatever time-period, would not have told the Forerunners "hey, there's a freaky virus thing trying to eat us, and it's infecting a number of your worlds; thought you might like to know".
I'm sure the Ecumene pulled a Citadel and dismissed that claim.
2/8/2013 c4 nytlyt
I like your story and can't wait till the next chapter! One complaint though is the lengthy tech codex entries, they give the reader the illusion that the space the codex is using is actually story to advance the plot. I would instead either move the all your codex entries to one chapter, or create another "story " solely of codex entries and direct your readers there to get ship, society, and tech stats. If you decide to ignore this advice I would at least ask you make your codex entries smaller.
I like your story and can't wait till the next chapter! One complaint though is the lengthy tech codex entries, they give the reader the illusion that the space the codex is using is actually story to advance the plot. I would instead either move the all your codex entries to one chapter, or create another "story " solely of codex entries and direct your readers there to get ship, society, and tech stats. If you decide to ignore this advice I would at least ask you make your codex entries smaller.
2/4/2013 c4 Fel
great story update soon
great story update soon
1/30/2013 c4 ObsidianUnknown66
I really love the way the chapter played out. But I do not like how the Systems Alliance received reclaimer status if partially. They are a disgrace to what humanity should truly be allowing themselves to be pushed around by that pathetic idiotic citadel council. They have not endured the hardship and suffering both the UNSC and Prehistoric humanity endured. I hope their reclamation status is revoked simply believing the SA who cannot protect their own colonies could ever hold the Mantle is ridiculous they have no right to it nor will they ever have that right no matter what."The Mantle of Responsibility for all things belongs to UNSC Humanity alone."
PS. would love to see Cerberus reaction knowing the Illusive Man would probably milk this discovery for all its worth spreading the UNSC AND Ancient humanity history among council space to show how powerful humanity is and are the true rulers of the galaxy.
I really love the way the chapter played out. But I do not like how the Systems Alliance received reclaimer status if partially. They are a disgrace to what humanity should truly be allowing themselves to be pushed around by that pathetic idiotic citadel council. They have not endured the hardship and suffering both the UNSC and Prehistoric humanity endured. I hope their reclamation status is revoked simply believing the SA who cannot protect their own colonies could ever hold the Mantle is ridiculous they have no right to it nor will they ever have that right no matter what."The Mantle of Responsibility for all things belongs to UNSC Humanity alone."
PS. would love to see Cerberus reaction knowing the Illusive Man would probably milk this discovery for all its worth spreading the UNSC AND Ancient humanity history among council space to show how powerful humanity is and are the true rulers of the galaxy.