Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Bonnie Rockwallor: From Cheerleader to Soldier

1/31/2013 c3 Beckman
O.k. I get it now. At the end of chapter 2, Tara was saying goodbye because Bonnie was leaving home. I still don't get why. Usually people don't go a whole year without seeing their bestfriend for no reason. Both girls seem to be still living in Middleton. So why did they lose touch?
Also if Bonnie and Tara were so close, why didn't Bonnie know Tara was working to become a cop since she was fourteen? It just seems something like that would come up somewhere along the line.
These are just questions that came to me while reading your story is still pretty good and I intend to keep following it.
1/31/2013 c2 Beckman
No offence, but you writing style is a little hard for me to follow.
So Tara just walks into Bonnie's house say's goodbye, then kisses Bonnie and then just leaves? Where is Tara going? She doesn't even explain the kiss. It just seems like that scene need more. Perhaps some more dialog or some internal monolog from Bonnie explaining things.
The story is a little rough around the edges, but otherwise o.k.. You should try to get someone else to proof read it. Other people pick up mistakes easrer than the writer.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service