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11/29/2012 c1 5SquadronGal
Im only in high school, and even more still a virgin, but even i know its never the best the first time. Its like putting on a play, first performance is good but not great cause your vulnerable to mistakes. Like screwing up your lines or missing your cue. Second show always does better cause you know your lines, effects, and cues better, and your more comfortable with your audience. And well, sex can work the exact same way, the way this story was written was very believable and relatable and made the situation seem a lot more human then anime. I tip my hat to you:)
10/17/2012 c1 13Hayal Kurmak
Well sex is supposed to be awkward and weird the first time, and even a few times after that. This story is far more realistic in that realm than most others, and that's a good thing.
9/22/2012 c1 5X.With Silver Wings.X
You're not happy with it? This story is incredible. I agree that there are far too many 'perfect first time' stories, and I also think too many of those stories have OOC characters. What you've done here, however, is create a realistic situation that keeps everyone in character. If this is your normal standard, I'd like to check out more of your work. As for criticism, there isn't anything I can call you out on. It's written beautifully. Encourangment: Never stop writing!

I think what I like best is that you recognize that Soul, despite his acts, is not full of confidence, and is, in reality, a very insecure person. I think it has to do with his inferiority complex to his older brother, or the other weapons who are able to fight on their own, like Giriko or Justin.
9/21/2012 c1 116Lialane Graest
This was so sweet :3 I loved it!
9/20/2012 c1 AnimeFreak8
Wow this is really good! I really wish there was someone like Soul in this world :( well maybe there is... ;D
9/20/2012 c1 snowbunnie13
I loved this a lot!

9/20/2012 c1 33bluebloodedphantom
Love it! I hope you write more :)
9/20/2012 c1 Mouers
Aw how cute

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