for Second Chances5/16/2013 c2 Delgodess
I do hope you continue this. It was wonderfully written and had me hooked from the start. I love how you used the language barrier; it really made it realistic. Please continue!
I do hope you continue this. It was wonderfully written and had me hooked from the start. I love how you used the language barrier; it really made it realistic. Please continue!
10/21/2012 c4 pink penguins
more please i adore your story it is interesting
more please i adore your story it is interesting
10/1/2012 c4 lilo
like the story as it is
like the story as it is
10/1/2012 c3 lilo
Such a good start LOVE IT...KEEP ON...
Such a good start LOVE IT...KEEP ON...
9/28/2012 c3 Anon
While this chapter is short if you keep updating at this rate short chapters won't be a negative for you. Don't try to force yourself to make the chapters longer especially if it gets in the way of you being able to update at a semi regular time. However one thing I can recommend to make your chapters longer is to describe things more. You seem to have an interesting storyline and I'm curious about the main character but little things like describing the surroundings the emotions on peoples faces can help give readers a good feel of each character and help absorb the reader into the story. It will take practice to get a good feel for your descriptive style. Your general writing style has a lot of promise so keep up the good work I'm exited to read more.
While this chapter is short if you keep updating at this rate short chapters won't be a negative for you. Don't try to force yourself to make the chapters longer especially if it gets in the way of you being able to update at a semi regular time. However one thing I can recommend to make your chapters longer is to describe things more. You seem to have an interesting storyline and I'm curious about the main character but little things like describing the surroundings the emotions on peoples faces can help give readers a good feel of each character and help absorb the reader into the story. It will take practice to get a good feel for your descriptive style. Your general writing style has a lot of promise so keep up the good work I'm exited to read more.
9/27/2012 c2 Anon
This has some real potential, I'm exited to see what direction your taking this story. The only recommendation I have is editing, I've noticed a few misspelling that should be easy to fix with either rereading the story before you update it or have someone else look at it. Its only a minor issue that is easy to fix but can be distracting while reading the story
This has some real potential, I'm exited to see what direction your taking this story. The only recommendation I have is editing, I've noticed a few misspelling that should be easy to fix with either rereading the story before you update it or have someone else look at it. Its only a minor issue that is easy to fix but can be distracting while reading the story
9/25/2012 c1 gmask
Wow great story! Loved how descriptive you were and it was very easy to imagine it :D cant wait for the next chaptet! But with who does she end up with? An ork?
Wow great story! Loved how descriptive you were and it was very easy to imagine it :D cant wait for the next chaptet! But with who does she end up with? An ork?
9/25/2012 c1 
1La Femme Absurde
Even "raw", as you so called it, this story has the most intriguing start and is very well written thus far. Sadly it ended far too abruptly, so I sincerely hope you are able to update again soon!
Also, just FYI, I don't normally review unless stories are well under way or, at the very least, have a few decent lengthed chapters. However since this was so delightfully interesting, I couldn't resist! So if you don't here from me got awhile after this, know that I am indeed reading but waiting for what's needed to give a much more sound review.
1La Femme AbsurdeEven "raw", as you so called it, this story has the most intriguing start and is very well written thus far. Sadly it ended far too abruptly, so I sincerely hope you are able to update again soon!
Also, just FYI, I don't normally review unless stories are well under way or, at the very least, have a few decent lengthed chapters. However since this was so delightfully interesting, I couldn't resist! So if you don't here from me got awhile after this, know that I am indeed reading but waiting for what's needed to give a much more sound review.