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for God Slaying Blade Works

10/24 c47 Guest
I've followed this story for years now, checking back in and catching up. You can write action, you can world build, you have some issues with your editing. If you went back and condensed this story as it now stands into 400-500K words it could easily go from a good story to a great one. I think somewhere...in an A/N, someplace back in the past million words lol, you effectively said that this was just your style - take it or leave it. And a lot of people left it, probably more stayed, but those others left for a reason. Successful books are more condensed, more thoroughly edited for a reason, and it's not just spacing on the shelves of the book store.

I think you would be a better writer if you became a better editor. It's hard to chop 10K words out after writing for weeks, months, years...but no one likes watered down liquor either. Recommend you focus a bit more in distilling your plot, themes, relationships, etc. in this, and probably your original work too.

Best of luck to you.
10/24 c8 Argo Devilian
oh god oh fuck

the man

the myth

the motherfucking legend

bout to clap some kidnapper ass
10/22 c16 Guest
My headcanon for this is that [Rhongomyniad: the Spear that Strikes and Slays] isnt the only Rhongomyniad in UBW. This one fully originates from the legend of the spear and its act of killing Mordred, because the stronger, real (and canon) Divine construct [Rhongomyniad: The Lance that Shines to the Ends of the World] is immutable to alterations from its legend out of neccesity. The Lance existed before Artoria, persumably created simultaniously with the separation of the outer layer of the World(reality) and the Reverse Side of the World (illusion) as the tower of light that separates and stabilizes the realms. It was created presumably in the era of the fairies, is the actual lance Artoria wielded, continued to wield in the timeline who's Artoria was recorded on the throne as lancer, and it continues to exist in Grey's possesion.

Not all of Rhongomyniads legend was compatable with this already extant immutable divine constructs real form, enough legend from mordreds death to give a noble phantasm another ability, but in this case it could not and became a separate, lesser noble phantasm. The Spear that Strikes and Slays is not a Holy spear, nor does it have anything to do with the restrictions of the round table, all of that was compatable with and went to the 'Spear of the End'. The Red and Utilitarian form of the spear shows neither the majesty of a Kings Lance nor does it fit the asthetic of Artoria, as it was not actually wielded by her but created solely out of legend. The Artoria who rests in Avalon only knows the 'Spear of the End', the Saber special summoned in the grail wars has conflicting memories of wielding both spears, and a Saber Artoria in a normal summon would only have memories of the Red Spear that Strikes and Slays unlike a Lancer Artoria or any other knight of the round who's record on the throne would not have their memories altered by the legends affecting Saber Artorias.

Thank you for coming to my headcanon TED talk to rationalize the old rhongomyniad's appearance.
10/19 c10 Zero
Awesome .
10/19 c9 Zero
AWESOME !
BASAKAH IS THE BEST !
10/19 c8 Zero
BASAKAH ?!
10/19 c7 Zero
WELP.
It happen.
I need to rewatch chapione.
10/19 c6 Zero
Cool !
10/18 c5 Zero
So...
He saw the other routes ?
10/18 c4 Zero
Nice
10/18 c3 Zero
DAM
10/18 c2 Zero
I forget the fact that fate used to be a eroge...
10/18 c1 Zero
I remember reading this a long time ago.
I had no idea of how fate stuff works.
I shall give a second reading.
10/18 c1 Guest
I am still wondering if this fanfic is about shirou or godou
10/11 c13 haha.plogue
I cant continue without leaving a review.

This is my OPINION and what I FEEL like and I have just read the chapters 1 to 10 because I really can't continue reading 11 to 13 without saying this.

So my first problem is that you gutted and nerf Shirou and I have no problem with that but it feels you didn't nerfted and gutted gudou also.

It feels like Shirou didn't come from the war or battle of the grail and was just a student like gudou that unfortunately entered the supernatural world without a choice. It was like battles he faced, the servants he battled was minor event in his life.

The harem. I don't have problem if shirou doesn't have an harem, i do really, but you include them everytime and this is where my problem lies.

It feels like Gudou is the main character of this story. I know that shirou is the one having the spotlight more or something but the focus feels like gudou. His harem for example ok gudou has an harem and shirou hasn't ok then why does it need to be explicit dialouges or mention of gudous harem saying that they are gudous harem. Why?... the story is good and interesting it has 7k review and it shows.

Well I have only readen the 10 chapters but the 11 and 12 was really the breaking point. Why does it need to be mention that gudou is being taking care by his harem and that two or one would join. Then 13 was just really skimming one in shirou battle and reading parts where he he is having hard was really hammering it that he has weaken.

Well I will continue and maybe everything will change but really this was really a hard pill to swallow. That shirou is gutted and nerfed. Having UBW really means nothing because he can't access it fully as you said EMIYA and him are not fundamentelly share the ideals. Hades is not meant for battle and the others well... they have their use.

I really need this to let out for me to continue reading.
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