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7/18/2015 c5 Guest
4/16/2014 c4 1cait123
6/5/2013 c4 Hearts Grow
Haha that was a nice chapter
Can't wait to see how the rest react
Update soon :)
2/17/2013 c4 Soulxmaka345
Please write more soon its so good
12/2/2012 c3 abandoned456
You know, when someone takes their valuablke time to write a thorough critique, it is customary to thank the reviewer and acknowledge what they said. When you don't, you come off as a tad bit snooty. I don't know if you thought my review was "trashing" you or not, but it's rude to just ignore a person when they've got a legitimately critical opinion to give. Considering the fact that you seem to have recieved similar criticism on your writing before, makes it all the more baffling as to why you would ignore it. It's not trashing; it's construcive criticism.
11/25/2012 c3 Hearts Grow
I think u shud continue this I want to see what's gonna happen
10/27/2012 c2 mk
kyaaaaa can wait to see what the boys' reaction is
10/27/2012 c1 abandoned456
Unlike the anonymous reviewer below, I'm not going to trash you and call you a disgrace, because you're not. I will say this though: you are a terrible writer and this story was no good. I know this sounds harsh, but I mean no offense. :) I am simply giving my honest opinion. The mistakes that the Guest flamer pointed out to you were one of the many reasons this story fell flat on its face. Your punctuation, spelling and grammar are atrocious, making the story vitually unreadable; furthermore, the overall pacing, diction, syntax, and characterizations were practically absent. The characters felt thinly imagined like you put about as much effort into them as you did your spelling. It was all rushed and vacuous, with absolutely nothing engaging about it. It was boring.

I don't know how old you are or if English is your first language or not, but I do think you need to put forth some semblance of thought or effort into your writing, even if you are just wrting for fun and aren't serious about it. Take some time off, learn the basic rules of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Try reading some good books to see how to actually write a story with emotion, thoughtfulness, and depth (as well as observe proper grammar/punctuation/spelling in use). And for God's sake, when you come back, get a Beta reader to edit your work. It doesn't take that long.

Nobody's perfect; we, the readers, are not looking for that. What we are looking for is a good read, so it's annoying when we find stories like this instead. I'm not bashing you or telling you to give up on writing. I do hope, however, that you will take this as a learning experience and try to improve your writing. I hope you take this critique into account and don't just ignore it (that would be rude).

Good luck with your stories and your writing!
10/27/2012 c1 1SecretViolet
10/24/2012 c1 Hearts Grow
It's ANBU not AMBU by the way
Great start I'm interested in this so far
10/22/2012 c1 Shadow Wolf
Great chapter! I really liked it. Update soon!
10/22/2012 c1 Guest
If you graduated kindergarden you should be ashamed of writing such a crap. Otherwise, good efford using a keyboard.

Seriously, aside from the idiocy of the storyline (which itself is copied directly from other fics by 12 year old girls who write crap), I cannot fanthom you could write shit with so many grammatical and spelling errors without actively trying to.

An example: ""well they certinally will be suprized" said tsunade amuzed"

1. First letter should be capitalized
2. "Certainly"
3. "surprized"
4. A quote ends with a full stop, comma, explamation or question mark
5. Tsunade is a name. Capitalized
6. "Amused"
7. Full stop missing.
10/22/2012 c1 2all-these-names-are-taken
I really like the story line, but there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. Update soon please!
10/22/2012 c1 3aalc95
Good job except its anbu not ambu and uchiha not uchia

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