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for Harry Potter and a Mother's Love

12/24/2012 c2 Aquajacks
I really love your fic, hope you update soon!
12/16/2012 c2 3SinfulApple
Beautiful chapter. Well written and very engaging. I can't wait to read more. Please update soon.

12/9/2012 c2 20Red Phoenix Dragon
A good next chapter for the interesting ideas you have.
Good that Sirius has sorted out his house and different that Draco is his father's son with or without Lucius bringing him up.
Good description of the protection failing and the house aging to dust.
Will Lily follow?
With Voldemort gone why has Dumbledore taken so much interest in Harry?
Thanks for sharing your story. Please update soon.
12/8/2012 c2 bittatatat
Great fic so far, very unpredictable. I can only wonder how Harry will be like as it looks like he was rised by a dark Lily. The question is why was she hidding? Does she plan to interact with Harry in the shadow or is she unable to leave? What about a goodbye ? And lastly, what would Harry's goals be? Lily, for sure, rised him the best way she could. The thing is she or her son could have been corrupted by all that dark magic so you could have Harry rise as a Dark Lord -especially if Dumbledore's good intentions brought more harm than good to the boy. I wouldn't cross the idea of Harry using wandless magic thanks to Lily's teachings.
12/8/2012 c1 22Katzztar
Interestign idea..first time to see it.
The fact that Severus Snape & Lucius Malfoy are dead will change a lot in the future. No Malfoy Sr to bribe the Ministry or influence the makings of laws...thought for laws they still have to contend with other bigoted purebloods who weren't DEs, like Umbridge. She made things hell for werewolves like Remus.
Without Snape's lack of actual teaching in potions, they could get a real potions teacher. This means there would be a larger ammount of people moving into carreers that call for a Potions N.E.W.T., like Aurors and Healers.

One thing though, the Death Eather's dark mark is on their left arm not the right.
12/7/2012 c2 Dr Stranger
Very nice second chapter. Thank you.
12/7/2012 c2 3Reishin Amara
Oh, so they left someone eh? ...Oddly why do I think the title may imply MORE than I originally thought? Cause right now,Im picturing a Lily reverted to Harrys current age being the extra person under the crib.
12/7/2012 c2 42Shadenight123
I must say that the last piece was positively scary. No really, dark green eyes glowing from the darkness...kind of like the Wraiths of Dungeons and Dragons. Especially when no-one else sees them. Keep up the good work!
11/26/2012 c1 Teucrian
Whoa. I like it. It's definitely a different take on what Lily did, and I look forward to seeing where you take it.
11/6/2012 c1 20Red Phoenix Dragon
A good start to a redo from Halloween 81 with Lily's spell draining Voldemort and discharging into a protective barrier. A good and interesting idea as Voldemort took his death eaters with him and the barrier stopped Lily's soul from departing. 6 years. Just in time to go to school with Hermione.
There is so much you can do from this start from having Lily's soul join Harry, to Lily passing on all her memories, knowledge and intelligence plus the Potter heritage. And if the spell was quick enough to trap James' soul, all his memories, knowledge and intelligence of pure-blood politics.
Thanks for sharing your story. Please update soon.
11/4/2012 c1 blackG
one very important question, what is Harry going to survive on for all this time?
11/5/2012 c1 vikraal
So Lily Potter turned herself into the Ghost, Like in Hogwarts?, I rather think that those 'Ghost' are just copies of Memory of the Original, given form only by continuous supply of magic, like at Hogwarts. Otherwise everyone would be 'alive' as a ghost.

A Idea popped up, Detective Harry story. What if, Lily potter had really turned herself into a 'Ghost' and was bound to Harry, by some Amulet or cloth etc. She shows up as a Voice unless someone fuels her magic. [ Sounds kinda like Lily Potter made a Horcrux]
Harry still goes to the Dursleys but they are now haunted by Lily Potter's Ghost. Harry grows up into a very different child, who is still a loner as He's still regarded as a freak in Privet Drive #4. Sirius is a free man & an Auror and Peter is Wanted. Sirus teaches him the ways on his free time. Harry goes into Ravenclaw and He strives to make his mother proud and to bring Justice on the Death Eaters.

I had thought alot more but some was just silly and Not realistic. One thing came up, what Business did the Potters even do? James was a auror, Sure, But they were suppose to be a old family with old Money and Magic to top it off. There is no Grandpa Potter, heck there isn't even a Painting. It would be a amusing cliche if the Potters were Billionaires and Harry was the Angry young man, With Magic.
A Wizard Ra's-Al-Ghul wannabe visits Harry after Dumbledore commits suicide.
11/4/2012 c1 3MegaB
Yo XP!

I am soooo glad you decided to write this! While I had no problem pitching in, I'm especially pleased you wanted to stretch your own creative muscle, so to speak. This should be a real treat.

So far, I'd say you've got the first chapter in the bag. It was well devised, the pacing is good and you've used the scene-work effectively here. One thing I would encourage, however, is to totally deviate from any and all of the current HP stereotypes. What I mean is as follows:

1. Her features were once again normal, she had felt a bit better about being dead when she was able to pull off that "ghoul" look on Voldemort. Let it be said that Lily was just as good at pranks as the Marauders, though she wouldn't be able to share this one with anybody.

You don't want to do this. Honestly, try not to force the perspective down the readers throat. There are so many other ways to portray what she's thinking here, for instance, you could've gone for 'she smiled ironically, it seemed like James had rubbed off on her more than she would care to admit.' or something similar. Thing is, let the character's personality do the talking, don't force it. I like to think I've got that sort of thing down to a fault!

2. "Albus! Are you going to answer me or just stand there and claim senility!" Crouch growled.

No context on this whatsoever. It seemed a bit out of place. Since you haven't portrayed Dumbledore as the brainless type here, you shouldn't rely on what the reader already knows about a character to give them a sense of what he's like. This is an AU so you need to do something similar to what I did with KNP: build YOUR OWN characters. Make them unique to your story only. It makes things so much more enjoyable in my humble opinion.

Otherwise, I've got nothing to add. This was a superb debut and I shall look forward to this very much. If you need to shoot ideas off me, you know where to find me. You have my email right?

11/4/2012 c1 9Zeitgeist84
Well, this will be like writing an entirely new version of the series, so you can count me interested. It's not often that you see a fully dead Voldemort, which makes me wonder, who is the antagonist of this story? After all, you can't just have a 'rise to greatness' unimpeded. I'm wondering if Harry will still be Gryffindor, and still be be friends with Ron and/or Hermione. If it's another 'trio', the possibilities really are endless. I'm psyched to see where this might go!

Good job, XPG!
11/3/2012 c1 4darkplayer35
Interesting start. It has potential. Please update soon.
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